I've Been Chasing Waterfalls.

I feel sorry for my dad. We're shitty children. We really are. It's breaking my heart that we're breaking his heart.

Hmmm.

I just want to feel normal again. Is that too much to ask?

There's A Strength In Letting Go.

I'll be posting some of the songs that I've been playing on loop the last few months.

A.) March: Hills to climb by Tim Myers

B.) Little Talks by Of Monsters and Men

C.) Little Earthquakes by Imperial Mammoth (love love LOVE this one)

D.) Through the Dark by The Mowgli's

E.) Little Ballerina by Emile Haynie feat. Rufus Wainwright

(but listen to it on Spotify. They made this one slow.)

F.) Celeste by Ezra Vine

G.) Make You Mine by PUBLIC

H.) Grapevine Valentine by Kingsfoil

I.) Jennifer Lawrence by Nova & The Experience

J.) Shake, Shake, Shake by Bronze Radio Return

K.) Sleep Song by Hooded Fang

L.) Gold Rays by Vinyl Pickups

.. which I can't find a video of. So just listen to it on Spotify.

M.) Swim by Fickle Friends

N.) Drifting by On and On

I'll post other stuff when I have my on laptop. Hahaha. Happy listening!!

I Just Want The Chance To Let The Little Ballerina Come Dance.

I'm okay. I'm fine. I got this.

Repeat 'till I'm okay, I'm fine, and I got this.

They Only Love You When They Need You.

I am such an awful, awful daughter. I don't deserve my parents. I acted like a rotten, spoilt brat (after my mom bought me some spontaneous shit I wanted and more. Ughhhh god I feel so annoyed with myself because I'm a fucking ungrateful bitch uggggggh) and I wouldn't even apologize.

Hay parents, I'm so sorry you have me for a daughter. I'm sorry you're stuck with me. I really, really pity you. No exaggerations.

Hello Goodbye.

Am I bipolar? Or do I just feel things deeply? Or I'm just really a softie underneath all this arrogance? Hay nako. I don't know but what I'm sure of is I'm so fucking tired of being lonely all the time. When I'm surrounded by people, at least I get enterntained and yeah I forget how unhappy I am. But, daaaamn, at night? All the melancholy and misery sets in. I'm just so freaking tired of being sad all the time. And I wish, I really do wish, that it's just hormones.

All corniness and feelings aside, hey, listen to Little Ballerina by Emile Haynie feat. Rufus Wainwright!! Listen to it on Spotify 'cause the one in YouTube is shit!

Bye.

#StrongIndependentWoman

Parang I don't like you anymore. Like, if we stop being friends, I wouldn't mind/care. We've been friends for a long time but I think you're enjoying your time more when you're with other people. And I'm just this big hindrance or something. And honestly, I'm not the type of person who would "pagsisiksikan sarili nya" if the other person obviously doesn't want to be/talk to me anymore. We're in the opposite sides of the spectrum and clearly there's a big gap now and, I don't know, it's so obvious that you're having more fun when you're with them than when you're with boring, boring me.

So, I guess, in some ways, this is me letting you go (if you don't wanna be friends anymore.) It's gonna hurt a bit but hey I'm used to this.

Only Binay. Daang Matuwid.

It's election time here in the Philippines. In fairness, there was no traffic everywhere.

I want MDS to win and BBM to NOT WIN ever. The children today are misinformed about Martial Law. There was even a video where they were saying that it would be okay if there's Martial Law again. How about.. No?? The schools need to set the story straight. Seriously.

Whoever the next president is, she or he wouldn't be able to "fix" the Philippines if the Filipons remain undisciplined. Yun lang yun actually.

I want a new laptoppppp so I could upload photos of my summer so far. Huhu.

You Could Only Hold A Smile For So Long After That It's Just Teeth.

Today is actually a decent day, my eyes hurt so bad 'cause I've been crying all night last night HAHAHAHA anyway I'm going to EK tomorrow with my 2019A friends. So that's kinda exciting.

I've been watching a lot of Hallmark and Lifetime movies 'cause they're all so cheery cheery. And I think I need that. I don't actually believe in happy endings but Hallmark and Lifetime movies, like, help me in some ways 'cause if I dwell on my shitty life and situation - I might just jump off a bridge after OD-ing on Xanax or something.

I'm looking forward to my new laptop, though. Please come sooner huhu.

To The Window, To The Wall.

My heart still hurts so much. 

It's just so painful to think that I haven't made any improvement in three fucking years. Plus, I always have to pretend I'm fine and I'm okay. Sucks sucks sucks sucks sucks.

While You Stand.

I just want a freakin' new HP laptop. And I want it now but I'm too embarrassed to nag my parents about it. So, here I am, googling HP laptop images, going to their website and just staring and drooling. See, I want HP Pavilion 16.5. It has a 1tb storage so YAY 'cause I lost my 1tb EHD. I can't remember where the hell I put it. Anyway, it looks so sexy and smooth and so professional! I showed it to my mom already and she said yes but I can't waaaaaait! I want it nooooow!

I feel so crippled without any laptop.