If I hold you too close, will the good things still grow?

Omg I cannot stop with Off Campus GAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! It's my new The Summer I Turned Pretty and Maxton Hall and Elite and My Fault and all the other new gen of teen romcoms I got hooked on except I LOVE ALL THE MEN 😭 Okay maybe not. I don't really care about Justin and Sean. BUT I am STILL freaking OBSESSED!!!!!!!!

But omg I can't believe I haven't read Tucker's book!!! I really don't know why. Maybe 'cause I didn't like Sabrina James??? Idk idk. I am so pro-Dean (very, very biased about him) and she was such a dick to Dean so Idk. Made me not read Tuck's book. Which sucks 'cause I love TV Tucker!!!! SOOOOOOO, I'm reading it now. It's my 6th book for the month, 44th overall.

Again, I'm cramming. I'm 7 books behind! I should've read 50 books by this time BUT I WAS DOING OTHER SIDE QUESTS. I AM SO BEHIND!!!!!!! Although, I think I would be able to catch up since I'm so obsessed with Off Campus AND I HAVEN'T READ THE BRIAR U SERIES (the next gen of Off Campus) so LET'S HOPE I GET TO CATCH UP.

TBFFFFFF, the last book I read (which I finished today) was That's All I Know by Elisa Levi. I gave it 5 stars but it's kind of, Idk, heavy? It was a short book but the content tackled death, discontentment, running away, caring for a disabled person, etc etc. So, it's not really about rainbows and butterflies and it took me a week to finish it. BUT TBF I WAS ALSO REREADING THE FIRST 3 BOOKS OF OFF CAMPUS IN BETWEEN SO THERE.

It's already May 21. Ugh. I don't think I would be able to finish 10 books this month. I was so smug, motherfucker. BUT IN MY DEFENSE, there were a lot of other fun things I got distracted on huhuhuhuhu.

What'd you expect? They know how we are

Okay omg. New hyperfixation: Off Campus the TV series!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Prime finally released it like.. last May 13? But I only started watching it last night! You got to hand it to Prime, they've been releasing really cute shows that trigger the nostalgia train for 34-year-old teenagers like me. I mean, we had The Summer I Turned Pretty, Maxton Hall, and now.. OFF CAMPUS!!!!!!!!!! It's only 8 episodes (UGHHHH I honestly miss the good old days where one season would have 20+ episodes! Come on!! Give me slow burn, give me yearning, GIVE ME MORE EPISODES!!!!) so I was able to finish it this morning.

I read the books like.. 10 years ago and, honestly, it's smut HAHAHAHAHA BUT BITCH, when you're drowning in med school, reading something chill is cathartic AND I HAVE NO REGRETS. I LOVED IT!

Anyway, so, after finishing the TV series this morning, I started rereading the books! I was able to finish Books 1 and 2 and as of 9:08 pm, I'm currently 82% done with Book 3. Bitch, if I had this kind of focus back in med school.. I would've graduated on time. Anyway, Garrett was waaaaay more charming in the books, he's kind of rigid in the TV series. 

My favorites are Logan and Dean. Logan - I am so freaking in love with the actor!!!! I mean.. have you seen him?????? Logan is Book 2 but his story was glossed over this current season, it kinda tackled book 3 more (which is Dean. MY OTHER FAVORITE!!!!! TV Dean is SO. Freaking. CHARMING!!!! But I also love Book Dean! BUT TV DEAAAAAN. TV DEAN IS 🫦)

Omg, can you see it? He looks like Jhong Hilario, right? I mean.. the resemblance is uncanny. BUT ANYWAYYYY I really, really, really, really like guys with facial hair. I think they get extra handsome!

I freaking can't wait for season 2. IT'S ABOUT JOHN LOGAN. I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!!!! There are a lot of differences from the book and I'm honestly okay with it? Because the adaptation gelled well. OMFG if I'm going to comment something negative, it's going to be Jules. Wtf is that. She brought nothing to the table and the actress was so bland and boring!!!!!!! I mean, she didn't add anything substantial to the story except that she's the one who hard launched Garrett and Hannah. That's it. I hope she's not in season 2 (which I doubt because she's Logan's sister in the show) ughhh I really fucking hate her

I mean:

This was not scripted at all HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA natawa na din lang ako after watching the vid because OMFG look at my face of disgust when Jules showed up HAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAAHHA she's like the Jenny Humphrey of this show

It's hopeless, we can't lift that curse

Omg I promise I was listening to the lecture! I just took a, you know, break to record this video and mass send it to my friends..

Well, you know, to sum it up: just casually sending my insufferable videos to my close friends so they could see how much I love my nails! I love it!!! I love it i love it i love it!

'Cause I know it goes bad to worse, you said it first

Yeeeesterday, I had a super sponty meet-up with my med school friends! Our midpoint was GH so.. G. HAHAHHAHAHA. Okay, so my current fixation is Ebi10 and I suggested if they want to try it and they said G.. so... G.... BUT I feel like they enjoyed it naman. AND SUPER SULIT KASI TALAGA!

My fave: SENJU ROLL

Then we had dessert at La Creperie! Thanks Ms. Anne for the dinner and dessert HAHAHHAAHHAHAHA

And omg all of us are using Dazz Cam now. Hellzzzzz to the yeahhhh. Thanks Jodie for this beautiful discovery and contribution to my (our) life (lives) HAHAHAHAHAHHA so lahat kami bumili na nung Pro thing. HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

By like 6-ish, my mom started to message me to go home early. As if I'm not a 34-year-old woman who's used to going home alone (via Grab or Uber) at 2-4-ish am back in med school... 

I am telling you guys, I am my mom's favorite HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

AND OMGGGG LOOKIE! I finally changed my nails after almost A MONTH. Grabe. From this:

To this:

It's a vibe 😏😎

Anyway, it's a good month so far. More luck for this month plzzzzz

Everybody wanna take her heart away

It's Mother's Day this coming Sunday so I decided to treat my mom to lunch at Ebi10, GH (my current hyperfixation. So.. when you think about it, am I treating her or am I treating myself..? Joke haha) BUT OMG, okay, back story, she saw my bank account like.. last week. This was my personal bank account not the accounts we shared, she laughed at my face when she saw the difference between my personal account and the account we shared. Like.. L O L. We were still at the bank waiting for Kuya Menic to pick us up, the guards saw this encounter HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HUHUHUHUHUHU SO ANYWAY, TODAY I told her she could order anything and I would pay for it. When I asked for the bill, she said don't worry about it and she decided to foot the bill. CAN I SAY, GRABE ANG SARAP NG FEELING NG SENIOR CONSULTANT HUHUHUHU LORD WHEN. HUHUHUHU. TAPOS!!!!!!! She transferred PHP 15k to my personal bank account HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA and told me to stop spending so much. Tbf, I am the poorest and most destitute in this family huhuhuhu. 

BUT ANYWAY, I really did want to treat her 'cause she's the best mom in the world talaga. Like YOU GUYS, no mom could EVER be as good as her. Even if she doesn't give me money, I would still choose her as my mom in ALL of my lifetimes.

So, that's the story of how my mom ended up paying for my mother's treat for her.

Senju roll my current fave

Then, we got cake at The Manila Baker because, hello, dessert. 

All in all, it's a good day. Maybe (IN THE NEAR FUTURE, I HOPE) when I have more money than my parents (UGHHHH JESUS WHEN???????) she would let me pay and treat her.

Let me know if you feel a little lost, a little too real and I'll come back again

My goodies came! And it looks so cuuuuute. Or maybe I'm just biased because it's personalized. Anywayyyy, finaaaaaally, I can breathe. It's no secret that I'm a careless fuck (about things) so I was half-scared I'll dent or scratch my laptop. Oh em gee REVELATION. Namjoon (who's also known as "RM") is kinda like that too. OMG. Are we meant to be besties?????????

I gots the goodies! I GOTS THE GOODIES!!!!

Omg I wish they'd start a case for Kindle too. So, I'll have all the same designs!

For iPads and AirPods - the design like the one up there is not available. Hay. So, I didn't buy any. Well tbf, my AirPods case came from Elago and it's okay! I've been using it for like 2 years now and it's still sturdy and alive. 

Anyway, I AM SO HAPPY!

I like the way you turn me inside and out

Omg YEHEYYY I finished my 2nd novel for the month of May today! So, I'm currently 40 books in for this year. God, let me reach 100. The highest number of books I was able to read in a year was like.. 78 back in 2013! And then the next highest was 70 last year. I think I could've reached 90 last year but I was in a funk for 2 months and read 0 books those 2 months. 

Anyway, I DNF-ed Just Kids by Patti Smith. I think it's time I be honest with myself and admit that I might get into it but definitely not anytime soon. Sooooo, currently, I'm reading Dinner at the Night Library by Hika Harada. I think it's going to be chill, I'm just on chapter 3. It's fantasy and magical realism so.. we'll see. 

I'm honestly leaning towards more chill and lighter novels for the past few months. The world is GOING HAYWIRE and I get crazy stressed reading the news so I try to read something light to distract myself. Whereas, last year, bitch, my library was filled with psychopathic, out of touch, morally deranged, and vitriolic women - AND I LOVED EVERY MINUTE OF IT. Some novels included were Eileen, Boy Parts, Sugar (my favorite read for 2025!!!!!!), Confessions, Perfume & Pain, Kill for Love, She's A Lamb, Luster, Victorian Psycho, etc etc etc.! I would recommend those books until the day I die because, fuck it, I DEVOURED those novels and reveled in its pages.

So, see, the switch from my angry women literary fiction to something.. tamed is, well, it's new. Honestly, for me, it means the world is falling apart and these chill novels are a welcome respite from all the crazy.

ANYYYYYYWAAAAAAAAAAY, sooooooo, Idk if I mentioned it before but I'm thinking if I should get a Kobo Libra Colour. I've been begging Jodie and Z to buy me one but.. they won't budge. AWOW HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA My mom's not budging either. She CHANGED. 

Before, I would casually mention stuff I like and I would magically have it in a few days or so. Pero naimpluwensyahan na talaga ng tatay ko yung nanay ko huhuhuhuhu. PERO ANYWAY, I could afford to buy one for myself (5, even) BUT IT'S REALLY HARD TO SPEND YOUR OWN MONEY. HUHUHUHUHUHU the other day, my dad casually said that I have to work hard to maintain my lifestyle. We are in NO WAAAAY rich but I think we grew up pretty comfortable. Like.. Idk, hmmmm, example, I don't have to think twice about using the ac? Like.. sometimes I wouldn't turn it off for like 2 days or so. Idk. I mean, GETS? We don't have centralized ac but we're okay, gets? SOOOO, I think I have certain comforts in life (I think all of us naman? Like.. Idk. All my friend groups since HS, college, med school etc etc) parang they're the same din. SO, point is, I have to work hard huhuhu. Earlier, we were having lunch, and I joked if I could get my allowance back. My mom said, "Hay nako ha, 34 ka na nagwowork ka na" and my dad said I really should learn how to be financially independent. I said, "Well, hello, anak nyo naman kami. Kanino nyo pa isspend hard earned money nyo except us? Kahit parang.. 'O anak ang cute cute mo naman, here's PHP 3k" My mom LAUGHED but did not give me PHP 3k. 

SO THE POINT IS - it's hard to spend my own money for a Kobo Libra Colour even if I've been lusting after it since December huhuhuhuhu. Tbf, my 6-year-old Kindle is still working perfectly but I'm so annoyed with the USB Type A - USB MicroB. Actually, that's it. That's my main issue. OHHHH ALSO, I WANT TO GO BACK TO READING GRAPHIC NOVELS!!!!!!! It's been so long!!!! I was in MOA last week and I checked out their FullyBooked branch and, haaaay, wala naman nung mga gusto kong titles. I know I could probably ask and reserve or something but ughhhh if I have a Kobo Libra Colour - I could get it ASAP, you know?

Omg is this me rationalizing and pushing myself to GET THAT KOBO LIBRA COLOUR?????

Ugghhhhh no. Maybe next month???? Or next, next month? IDK. OR DECEMBER??????

Ryoiki Tenkai

I'm rewatching Jujutsu Kaisen... for the nth time. I HONESTLY cannot commit to watching anything else because I keep on rewatching JJK.

I did grown-up stuff and errands today and it's safe to say I lost my temper. It's SO hard. God, why do we have to grow up. Why can't we stay carefree and stress-free and blissfully unaware of responsibilities? I hate, hate growing up!

Anyway, I'm still reading my 1st book of the month and so far so good! I'm more invested in this compared to Moderation and Just Kids. It's taking me a long time to finish said books. Hopefully, I finish 10 novels this month huhu. 

I know love as a fading thing, just as fickle as a feather in a stream

We ate breakfast at Breakfast at Antonio's Tagaytay branch today! I was wearing my Jujutsu Kaisen shirt and Birks and my micro dumpling BTV. So, sobrang chill and casual ko lang okay. My mom was eyeing me from head to toe HAHAHAHAHAHAHA baka OB-Gyn thingzzzz. ANYWAY, so Yo was asking why there eh we eat naman sa RobMag branch haha. But my mom had a massive craving for their daing na bangus so G. 

LOOKIE!!!!! The main design's at the back! It's JJK season 3. BUT ANYWAY, look at Sukuna's sinister smile haha. 

This was my order! Plus the potato salad for sharing. 

.. But PLOT TWIST, she ended up eating some of my dad's order which was longganisa something HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA. She ended up asking the wait staff to put her daing na bangus in a to-go bag. And, honestly, who eats a banana split at like 9 in the morning? Apparently, my mom does. HAHAHAHAHHAHA what a cutie 🥺

I know things aren't quite like what they used to be

I did not reach my goal of 10 books this month. I was only able to finish 8 😩 IN MY DEFENSE, I met up with friends ++++++ I got so hooked on House Flipper and PowerWash simulator!!

I started Moderation last March but, ugh, I can't get into it. I'm like 32% in and I can't continue it. I'll get around it - eventually.

Okay, the worst book I read this month (POSSIBLY MY WHOLE LIFE. It's at par with the abomination that is Mexican Gothic) is Funny You Should Ask. I don't want to increase my blood pressure so I'm just going to paste my review from Goodreads here:

Okay, too late, I'm MAD. It's so HORRIBLE. The chemistry was nonexistent. I honestly have more chemistry with a used tampon than the two protagonists. The female lead was so freaking UNPROFESSIONAL. I mean, choose a struggle you fucking bitch, do you want to be a "good" ("Good" is being generous because her "articles" are.. meh) writer or a horny, pompous bitch because clearly SHE CAN'T BE BOTH. For 10 years.. 10 FREAKING YEARS, she pined over a guy she knew for 3 days. 3 FREAKING DAYS, ARE YOU KIDDING ME.  I have a longer relationship with the carton of milk in my ref that I keep on forgetting to throw out, for crying out loud. There is no good thing about this book. If I could, I would add reading this continuously as the punishment in the 10th Circle of Hell. It's that HORRID. I am so MAD. 

Anyway, happy 1st of May! I hope to read 10 books this month. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE SELF, HAVE SOME DISCIPLINE!