Happy New Year :)

We're off to Cabanatuan later. I just want to greet everybody a Happy New Year! :)

If there's something I did that pissed you off this 2008 -- Gawd, I'm sorry. Really, I am. I'm going to have a fresh start this 2009. I promise. :)

Advance Happy New Year to all.

Please Just Don't Play With Me -- My Paper Heart Will Bleed.

Today is another boring day. I just updated my iPod. GAWD. ILY YO! :) Thanks for fixing my crappy laptop. Really. I'm sincere.

So, anyway, I spent the day listening to The Almost, Set Your Goals, and *drum roll please* The Starting Line. Ahhh. The feeling of solace. :">

As much as I love to listen to those screaming bands -- my day wouldn't be complete without listening to Ben Gibbard's angelic voice. Seriously. I mean, look at it this way, I've ALWAYS loved Death Cab For Cutie. ALWAYS. Anyway, there was this time when I got addicted to Good Charlotte and Panic! At The Disco (Back before their mainstream days.. *sighs*) So, anyway, I got hooked.. Then, after a couple of months -- I didn't want them anymore. I mean, I no longer think of them 24/7. But, look at DCFC.. Whatever happens -- I always stop and listen to them. There's just something in that band that makes me.. calm. Whatever happens -- they will always be my favorite :)

And, HECK, I COULD PROVE THAT. I've completed ALL of their ALBUMS! SEE? See how devoted I am! >:).. Well, okay, ALMOST ALL of their albums. I'm still missing the "You Can Play These Songs With Chords" album.. MYGOD. It's SO HARD to FIND. I think it was recorded using a cassette tape. Where the hell am I going to find that cassette tape? :| It's a baaaad thing they started in 1997. :| CD's aren't popular.. YET. :| Ohwell. My only chance to take hold of that album is when I meet Ben Gibbard himself. HAHAHAHA. Or not. Whatever. I'm still looking and searching. I won't give up. :P Anything for DCFC :)

God. I know I'm hero-worshipping DCFC. But, who cares? I do love them. From the bottom of my heart -- until the soul meets body. HAHAHA. :">

Who Needs You?

We're off to Cabanatuan tomorrow. AGAIN. We're going to spend the New Year there. It means that I wouldn't be able to update this baby on the 1st -- so, I'm already greeting everybody a Happy New Year. Let's forget all the mistakes we've done in 2008 and move forward. There are no room for past mistakes-- we should just welcome the future. May we all have a prosperous 2009 :)

Mygod. I sound like a Banner.. Or a Calendar. BAH. Who cares? I'd probably text you on the first so that I could still give you some New Year messages. HAHAHA.

I'm currently in love with The Starting Line. I know that it's an old band and all.. I mean, I do listen to them, but there's something in them NOW that made me appreciate them more. Just like Saves The Day last summer -- they were inside Ipe and I always listen to them and, heck, I do love them, really, I do -- but only on that Summer day.. I began to really, really, really love them.

It's weird whenever I have this sudden *dings*. Really. I love bands. I swear I do. Ipe is so full of unknown bands.. Kaya minsan nahihirapan ako magkwento tungkol sa mga bands kasi, ewan, wala masyadong nakakaalam ng mga pinagsasabi ko :| Well, ok, whatever, that's a different story. What I'm saying is, I don't know what's wrong with me because of these *dings*.. UGH. Do you get what I'm saying? *sighs* Fine. I'm malabo na naman :))

SONG: Still The Starting Line's Bedroom Talk :)

I'm Gonna Tear Your Ass Up Like We Just Got Married.

I'm using my mom's microscopic laptop. It's super tiny -- anhirap gamitin! I swear, or maybe my fingers are just as big as German Franks kaya ganon. ARR. I can't use my ancient laptop dahil, OHA, may virus na naman akong nasagap. And this time, hindi ko na matanggal tanggal. Putris. I have to go to my brother and beg. Lintek. Goodbye to my pride. HAHAHA. :)) Joke lang Yo!

Ansarap mahalin ng tatay ko. I swear. :> We were in the mall because he said that he's going to buy Yo some post-Christmas presents. We were looking at UMD's, controllers, CD's, rubber shoes, headphones, etc. Then I said, "I'm going to buy new earphones. Pinapamukha na saken ni Yo na sakanya tong headphones na gamit ko ehh." So, they accompanied me to a gadget shop/whatever. Tas may nakita akong Philips na earphones na P555 lang, yung napapalitan ng color yung parang shell, ganon. Ehh since I'm kuripot and I mean, c'mon, makikinig lang naman ako, I told them na yun nalang yung bibilin ko. Sus. Ang mga tinuturo kaya nila yung mga P1000+, hindi na kaya yon ng budget ko sa ngayon! So, ANYWAY, I said I'm going to pay for it already. Tas nagulat ako kasi ang pinakamamahal ko na ama ang nagbayaaaad! Sya na daw ang magbabayad para sa unica hija nya. MYGAAAHD. Ambabaw, pero sobrang natouch ako :"> Sya lang talaga ang ganon saken. :"> If I'm with my mom, she would just stare at me and she would ask me why I bought those kind when there are other earphones worth a thousand bucks (Ganito kasi yan. Si Mommy, kapag mas mahal, feeling nya mas matibay. Ganon ehh.. Labo no?) So, ayun, nakakatouch talaga. :"> At eto pa, sa huli, ako na naman ang naibili nya at hindi si Yo. BWAHAHAHA. Wii naman ata kasi yung ireregalo nya kay Yo kaya maghintay muna si Yo.

Naks. Tumatagalog na ko. Walalang. Ginaya ko si Mons. Yung kung ano nalang ang lumabas sa utak nya tas diretso type na. HAHAHA. Kaya yan, dirediretso lang. Kung ano lang talaga ang lumabas sa utak ko. HAHAHA.

I'm happy. I don't know why. Walalang. Type ko lang maging masaya. Hmm. Baka dahil sa aking ama. HAHAHAHA.

K. Fine. Nahihirapan na talaga ako magtype. Anliit talaga. I SWEAR.

CIAO :)

SONG: The Starting Line's Bedroom Talk.

Real People Get Hurt.

Last year, I fell in love with Tad Hilgenbrink. I would sit all day in front of my computer monitor, staring at him, daydreaming about him. I lost count of the times I've watched American Pie 4: Band Camp. I couldn't keep track of the websites I've visited to gain information about him.

Then, mushy as it sounds, I decided that I want a guy just like Matt Stifler. You know, he could be an asshole -- but for me, he'll change. He would be willing to give up his popularity to join my loser-ish life. He would hang out with me even if my hobbies bore the ass out of him.

Too bad it's just a dream. Guys like that are plain assholes. They're numb and naive. They wouldn't give a shit about you. They would call you "LOSER" and they wouldn't even give a damn that they hurt you.

Guys like that deserve hell. Seriously.

Ohwell. Who cares? I still think Tad is.. :"> Hmm, ok, stare at him -- he sort of looks like Gerard Way. In some teeny-weeny parts. Especially when he talks. OR. If you don't want to believe me -- watch American Pie 4. You'll get what I'm saying.


See? He looks a little like Gerard Way. Hmm, although, I like Tad more. :">


P.S.: If YOU have a DVD of "The Curiosity Of Chance" -- and you let me borrow it.. I swear, I would love you FOREVER. I would do anything for YOU. I mean, GOD, it's SO HARD to find that movie. And, I'm itching to watch it. PLEASE?

SONG: The Starting Line's Bedroom Talk

All I Need Is Them.

200th post! ILY BLOGGIE!

*****

I SO FUCKING LOVE YOU IV1 :)

Thank you for sticking with me through thick and thin. Thank you for making me laugh ALL THE TIME. Thank you for the appreciation and the love. God knows how much I needed that.

*****

I feel lost. I swear. It's as if I'm hovering under a puddle of mud. I literally don't know what to do anymore. I've been trying so hard.

I haven't prepared for this. I'm stuck.

I'm asking for a miracle. Please?

SONG: Hanson's Lost Without Each Other

'Cause I Really Don't Feel The Way I Once Felt 'Bout You.

My father bought me another pair of silver earrings. I think it's the 5th pair he bought me this year. I said, "Oh, bumili ka na naman! Parang ang hilig mo sa earrings." He chuckled and he said that he thinks it's cute. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate my dad a lot. Sya lang nakakaisip ng mga ganon saken.

So, anyway, he was telling me to use the new pair he bought me, then we had this craaaazy conversation.

*R- Ronnie
*G- Gina
*M- Me

M: Ano kaya kung magpa-pierce ako dito? *points on the upper part of my ear*
YELLS AT THE SAME TIME:
R: Tarantado!
G: Sasapukin kita!
M: *laughs like there's no tomorrow* HAHAHAHA. Naniwala naman kayo?
R: Ehh. It's not impossible -- gago ka din ehh.
G: Oo nga, nako, ikaw Rina, kapag may sinabe ka -- ginagawa mo.
M: I wouldn't pierce my ears -- yet.
G: *raises eyebrows* Subukan mo.
M: GAME!
G: *getting really furious*
M: *laughs her lungs out* HAHAHA! Joke lang. Sus.
R: Hindi nga kasi imposible yon. Gago ka nga kasi.

HAHAHAHA =)) You guys should've seen the look on my parents' faces when I said that I wanted another ear piercing. It's as if they're begging me not to have another hole in my ear. It's HILARIOUS.

I was actually shocked when my father cursed. :)) It must've mean that he really doesn't want an extra hole in my ear. TSK TSK. Might as well obey the old chap. Para naman hindi ako super black sheep. HAHAHA.

We're off to Cabanatuan tomorrow -- God, I'm going to miss the internet. *sniffs* UGH.

Since, I wouldn't be able to post a Christmas post on the 25th, I'm greeting EVERYBODY a HAPPY CHRISTMAS. :) I love y'all!

SONG: Chris Brown's Say Goodbye

Where I Went Wrong.

I've wasted EVERYTHING. God. When will it dawn on me how STUPID I'm becoming? I don't need this. I don't need ANY of this. Stop fucking everything and just let me be, ok? I don't know what's wrong with you. Why can't you just make up your mind? If you're really on to someone new already -- just tell it, K? There's no need for any hanky-panky bull. It's only making things WORSE.

You're one of the most naive and insensitive person I've the misfortune to meet. You're sucking out the niceness and happiness in me.

My biggest regret is that I loved you WAY too much. I've forgotten how to keep a few of that love for myself.

Look where it brought me. :|

Thank you for this AWESOME Christmas gift you're giving me. Thank you for making me miserable. I NEEDED that.

BAH. You're Married. :| Just Like Everybody Else. :|

OH MY GOOOOOOD. This guy made me SMILE. SERIOUSLY. ILY JAMES :)

But, so far, I think this is his HOTTEST picture :">

I like my guys WASTED. I think they're HOTT when they don't look clean. Sabe nga ni Odessa, "MADUDUMI."

Who cares? James McAvoy made me smile and that's all that matters :)

Ok. I'm Not Sick.. Or, Am I?

My mom's getting mad because of my unhealthy sleeping habits. The longest sleep I had for, what, 3 months is 5 hours. UGH. These past few weeks, I've been going to school with just an hour of sleep or without any sleep at all. No wonder I talk non-sense. No wonder I laugh out loud just because I have a tinkling feeling at the back of my head that's urging me to laugh.

This is weird. I'm slowly killing myself. :| And the thing is, I don't even know how to sleep anymore. UGH. SERIOUSLY.

I used to love sleeping because it helps me escape from all of the fucked up stuff in my life. I don't know what happened NOW. UGH. The thing is, I don't even want to talk about it. WHY? These are the two pictures I have in mind: My parents would freak out and would give me medicines and would beg me to have myself checked up. OR. They would get mad at me and tell me that I'm, yeah, recklessly killing myself.

This is not good. I ought to change. God knows how much I'm trying.

******

On something different, I know this is loser-ish.. But, I just watched Twilight yesterday at TriNoma. :)) Hmm. Honestly, I'm not even impressed. I only loved KS. And, yeah, Rob Pattinson when he was wearing those awesome wayfarers. I loved the book more.

******

School's out already. For 2 WEEKS.

I haven't done the Parish thingy yet. UGH.. My GOD. I need to do that.

******

This is SICK. I ought to be happy but I just couldn't bring myseld to smile. I don't know if it's because of the hormones.. Or it's because of YOU. What's new? God.


SONG: Sum 41's So Long Goodbye

YEHEY! DONE!

YEY-UH! EXAM'S ARE OVEEEER! Details later :D

Updating in Odessa's house. :)

GAAAWD :) Ansaya sa Shakey's. K. Walalang :)) Tuwang tuwa ako. ILY IV1! Kahit sila Beyiia.. Pauiie.. Tin... At yung iba ay mga pusong bato. ARRRRR.

Wow. You've Been The Whole World To Me.

In times like this, I have the sudden urge to leave everything and literally hide under a rock. Just like Patrick Star. I want to get away from everything. I want to rest.

There are many stuff to do it's making my eyes pop. I really want to finish this , er, school year and, I dunno, take off for a year? I've been so stressed out -- even my dreams contain stuff about school. UGH. For the love of God, I'm so tiiiiiiired.

To top it of, I'm really pissed off. My earphones have gone wacko. My laptop's gone bananas. HOW CAN I TAKE ALL OF THESE AT THE SAME TIME? Now, I'm borrowing my mom's headphones (Yes. She has headphones. Second childhood? HAHA.) And, I don't even want to use headphones! I want EARPHONES. I never had the urge to buy headphones for some strange reason. The only people who has headphones in this house are my brother and mom.

Then, I have another identity crisis issue. I'm having a hard time concentrating again. I really need to have my head examined. Seriously.

No wonder I don't notice the cheery Christmas spirit. I'm too busy juggling everything at the same time.

I think this is going to be my worst Christmas season -- EVER. I feel like crying.

I'm asking for a miracle. I'm hoping for a miracle.

Please?

Jealousy Is Sitting Beside Me.

I tried the Colorgenics test five times -- and the results are always the same. I tried clicking different colors and the result's always, always the same. And, honestly, what they're saying is quite true. The emotional distress and all. UGH. Even the Cyberworld knows some stuff I don't know. :|

THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS TO DO. GOD. WHY NOW? WHY?! I'm so stressed out. My eyebags are killers. My zits are inummerable. I feel.. I dunno. Ditzy. :|

Shit. I have to finish the Sulating Pormal. It looks and sounds crappy. When I started writing it -- I know I wouldn't like it. It's a love story for god's sake. And I'm not really a sucker for those stuff. God. I should've not crammed for that SP. Now, it's taking it's toll. :|

Hell week. Or maybe I'm just unlucky. AHHH. Talk about unlucky, my laptop's gone bananas again. I couldn't update my iPod -- AGAIN.

Shit, what a happy way to celebrate the Christmas Season. Bugger.

SONG: DCFC's Different Names For The Same Thing

COLORGENICS.

You want to be regarded as an exciting and interesting personality able to persuade others to comply with your beliefs and ideas. You are charming and able to influence other people who come into your sphere of influence. You like mental stimulation and you are the sort of person who is prepared to 'try anything once'. Your confidence is so much so that others are often swept away by your enthusiasm.

You haven't been feeling that great lately. Both physically and mentally you are exhausted. To your best friends, those who know you and love you, it shows. Your self esteem has been reduced almost to a minimum and in order to recover - and recover you will - it is necessary that you get away from it all, even if it be only for a few days.

Your involvements seldom measure up to your high emotional expectations and your 'needs' to be 'loved' and 'cared for' have in the past often led to extreme disappointment. But a change is in the wind - make a firm decision to start anew. Just 'think' it..and it will happen.

You are experiencing more than your fair share of stress following an acute disappointment. This may be the result of subconscious conflict between hope and necessity. The tension that you are experiencing following your unfulfilled hopes have given rise to anxious uncertainty. You have no doubt that things could get better in the future and so you refuse to make the necessary essential decisions. This conflict between hope and necessity is creating considerable pressure. Instead of resolving this by facing up to making the essential decisions, you are likely to vacillate and concern yourself with trivialities of little consequence.

Sometimes one fears that its not worth formulating new ideas and projects because whatever you seem to have done in the past has never worked out and you are tired of, as they say, banging your head against a brick wall. No one seems to care. So now you are trying to get away from it all by withdrawing into a 'fantasy land' but unfortunately 'fantasy land' is just that and sooner or later you will have to return to reality so why delay the inevitable? When you do return, you will find that the situation is not as tough as perhaps you thought it was.



-- I got this one from Pauiie and Paula and Jodie. MYGAAAHD. This is SO true it's freaking me out. REALLY. Mygaaahd. Even the whole world knoooows. :(( This is another emo thingy. I'm beginning to hate myself all over again. I SWEAR. :((

What can you say? That thing up there talks about me, right? :| Gaaawd. I am so dead.

It's All About Love. :)

Love is a bullshitty word. It would be so HARD to look for the meaning of that fucked up word. It's a good thing I have these guys to elaborate it for me:

I love this:

I love them too:

One of the best damn things:



Who would ever want to forget this?

Or this?

Or this:

I LOVE you IV1 PERFECT KIDS! Always WILL.

Sana ay bumaet na tayo after ng Retreat. ASA! HAHAHA. :))

SONG: Mayday Parade's Miserable At Best. I thought I was over the Mayday stage. I guess not. :))

Answers. Answers.

K. Since there are many tags. I'm gonna answer here :D

PAULA: Baka gusto mong ihagis kita sa toilet? ANSAMA mo talaga saken FOREVER!

GEGO: WEEEELL. Ambisyosa kasi akoooo. Anyway, salamat sa pakikinig sa mga himutok ko ng isang, isang, isang araw. APPRECIATED.

JODIE: IKR! I'm super bading na. Pero, wala na sya ngayon ehh. Swear. :)) Anyway, you better love Reese kaya! Mahalin naten mga iPod naten :)) I don't care kahit ikaw lang ang laman ng tagboard ko. Mahal kita. AYIIIEEE :))

ERYEL: SUPER DUPER. Grabe. Nahulog ang panty ko kay Eddy! Super HOTT.

PAUIIE: I KNOOOOW. Ano ka ba, may Pinoy version ka na naman ni Chuck ehh. =)) Si LIA. =)) MALI. Sir Viloria na pala yon. :))

CHEZCA: Wala. Inabandon mo na blog mo.

BEYIIA: Thank GOD we're in love! ILYSMT! As in ILYF! Kahit taksil ka -- mahal padin kita.

LOURDES: MY BOOOOYS. Pero, sige, isshare ko sayo ang mga gusto mo. Share tayo. :))

MARS BARS: IKR! So, malaking improvement na to, DIBA? I LOVE YOUR IPOD KAYA! Swear. Sobrang investment ang iPod -- for forever na yon. AYYY :))

SAULKRISNA: Hi. :) Thanks for dropping by. :D

BIANCA V.: Lalakero na ako. HAHAHAHA.

ERYEL: SUPER HOTT ng boses nya! *drools*


I'm going to post a proper, um, post later. K? :D

BOYS OVERLOAD.

Mygaaahd. I was listening to The Filthy Youth and I think, mygaaahd, I'm in love with Ed Westwick -- again. I thought I was over him. I guess I'm wrong.

I think I'm the most fickle kid ever. MYGAAAAHD. One moment I'm whoring over some guy -- the next minute, I'm whoring another guy!

Ohwell. I want to marry him someday.

I mean, who would say "NO" to this modern day HOTTNESS?

I really want to marry him someday. HAHAHA. He's one of my TOP GUYS. :D

"Oh, Ed, don't get selos na. Matt Long is so last year. K? Don't get selos na, ha!"

*sighs* :"> :"> :">



He's exactly my brand of Heroin.

Isn't he gorgeous? *drools*

HAHAHAHA :)) Gawd. This is my 5th update for today. Talk about being bored. :))

GAY ALERT!!

I don't know what's going on with my brain.. But, I'm SUPER KINIKILIG!! I SWEAR!! I'm squealing here.. And, to think that I'm ALONE. MYGAAAHD.

This is GAY. SUPER GAY. And, I hope after you read this, you'll still treat me with respect.. Kahit konti nalang! :))

I'm super crushing on BEN ADAMS of A1 -- ALL OVER AGAIN! I thought I was super over the boyband stage.. But, it's all coming BACK right now. MYGAAAAHD. I'm SOOOO KINIKILIIIIG TALAGAAAAA!!!! *screams*

*screams*

MYGAAAAHD. I know it's really really really really really really really GAY. But, SO WHAT? =))

I've been repeating A1 songs ALL DAY LONG. How GAY is THAT?

*sighs* The things I do for Ben :"> :"> HAHAHA.

Don't worry -- I'll snap out of this. SOON.

Let's Get Random!

Tomorrow's Retreat day already. GAAAAAHD. I don't know if I'm ready. HAHAHA. ACTUALLY -- I'm NOT yet read. I haven't prepared anything -- yet. No clothes, no coloring materials (do we need those stuff?), no ANYTHING. Fine. I'm going to prepare it -- later :>

I'm in love :"> I swear I am.

I'm in love with Ipe. :"> He's all I think about these days. REALLY. MYGAAAAHD. When would I stop thinking about him? Sometimes, when I'm in school -- all I want is the day to end so that I could spend some time with him. And yeah.. It's a good thing he loooooves me too. :"> I'm sure. I could tell. He was with me when I was really, really down and when I was crying my heart out. He didn't tire of me. And, I think that's the sweetest thing ever.


This is a promise and I'm sure I won't break it:


Ipe,

I'm gonna love you no matter what. When all else fails, we'll stay with each other and we'll never be apart -- we're going to be inseparable. I'll sing the lyrics to our melodies. I'll compose the rhythm to our tune.

Thank you for sticking with me when I was such a drama queen. Thank you for not giving up on me. Thank you for just being there when I need something to hold on to. You're my bright little ray of sunshine now.

I'm sorry if there were times that I was, well, too conceited and I tend to neglect and abandon you. I'm sorry if I've been impatient and I get to yell at you for being, well, slow (SOMETIMES.) I swear that's not going to happen anymore. I've come to realize that YOU are the MOST IMPORTANT thing in my life.

I Love You IPE! :)

Love,
Rina.

********

So, to those of you who owns an iPod too -- well, you better love it THAT much -- because it helps you forget about all your anxieties and frustrations in life. It'll stick with you no matter what. :) Just like my Ipe. :">

P.S. Akala nyo kung sino si Ipe, no? :))

ILY iPod! :))

I'm Choking On Your Alibis.

It's funny how I stare at my monitor all day and try to figure out what the hell I'm supposed to write. I mean, whenever I'm doing something else, different kinds of stuff flood my brain and stumble together to create a perfect and unblemished design -- but, whenever I face my monitor, it's as if they evaporated together and all I get is a piteous and awful *DING*.

So, what's there to talk about?

I don't want to blog for the sake of blogging. I want to blog because I want to write. I want to express myself in the least defective way. Although, yeah, my recent posts are whiny, aggravating, and, um, irksome. I KNOOOW. That's why I AM going back to my old style of, er, ranting.

LIES. LIES. LIES.

Yeah, ok, I've been wondering -- if I do start to act happy even though I'm not -- it's as if I'm being some pretentious little bitch. I mean, hello, I'm not being myself. I dunno. GAWD. I'm torn.

Well, ok. I think I got it. I'm going to minimize my blusters and, yeah, I'm going to focus on the fun things in life.

My life is too short to be wasted. I ought to live it to the maximum. No, I'm not saying that I'm going to do drugs -- I may be a dickhead but that's the last thing in my mind. I swear. All I'm saying is that, I dunno, I'm going to portray Mary Sunshine. I'm going to laugh just because I feel like it. I'm going to smile just because my armpits are not itching. I'm going to grin like a maniac just because.

I once read somewhere that happiness can't be bought -- it's a choice. It's your decision if you want to dwell on your fucked up life. It's your prerogative if you want to have this heavy feeling inside you, and yes, even if you want to smile, all you'll produce is a grimace. Really. It's a choice.

And, I WANT IT. I swear. I wasted a hell lot of time crying and being sad. Now, I want to spend the last few days of my Senior life as one of the happiest persons in the batch. I could do that. I would do that.

So, let's clean the slate and start anew.

SMILE like there's no tomorrow. 'Cause, who knows, it might be your last. It's the only thing that makes sense now.

CHEERS.

SONG: The Killers' Mr. Brightside. This song reminds me of all the happy times when I was in Third Year. :)

I Wish It Was Something More Than That.

After a couple of hours, I changed my layout from the music thingy to a pink "Conquer the world" one.. Then, I got bored so I changed it.. AGAIN. God, the doings of the jaded and weary kid.

My mom's funny. She's discovering the beauty of the Cyberworld. She was so giddy this morning when she woke me up.

M: Rina! You could watch movies in the internet pala! I saw this site and I've been watching movies non-stop!
R: *raises eyebrows* Oo kaya! I used to watch GG's Season 2 in the net kasi hindi pa showing dito sa Philippines. Besides, para advance ako. HAHA. Kaso I'm stuck in Episode 7. Tinatamad na ako ehh.
M: Oh? *lips like an "O"* Ang galing no?
R: *rolls eyes* Ma, anong century na? San ka ba nakatira? Sa ilalim ng bato?
M: Ehh, well, ngayon lang ako nagkaka-time mag-explore ehh. Anyway, I made an account in *site here, I can't remember what* I've been watching movies since 11pm until 5.30am! Wala pa nga akong tulog ehh. Inaantok nga ako ngayon.
R: *pauses* Grabe. Ang adik.

WTF =)) When we finished that conversation -- I was really LAUGHING. HAHAHA. You should've seen her face when we were talking. She was really, really, really mesmerized with the idea that you could watch a movie using the net.

MYGAAAHD. I've just realized that I need to finish some stuff! The write-ups. The Parish project. The Porac thingy. The Ms. Calero stuff. The Pinoy short story (WTF. TAGALOG? It's so not my forte. :| I hope I don't make a crap out of that.) MYGAAAAHD. I am so not prepared to do any of those things. I just want to stare at my computer monitor all day and wait for a *claps* MIRACLE. *claps*

Fine. I think I need to start with the Porac thingy. I need to pass it to Pipi. WOOOOO.

I'll update again after an, what, hour? :))

SONG: Forever The Sickest Kids' She's A Lady.

I Know That I Can't Be Concerned, But You're Still In My Life.

I just finished fixing Gego's layout :D NYAHAHA. I dunno. I like her layout better than my new layout. Still. This is simpler and, er, bloodier.. So, K na din. HAHAHA.

Anyway, mygaaahd. I really appreciated it when Gego listened to me while I ranted away and bastardized all those shitty stuff. HAHAHA. I swear. :))

BTW, did I mention that today is Maeka's 16th? GAAAWD. You guys better greet her! :)) Well, since I'm doing it anyway, I might as well greet her a HAPPY 16TH HERE! ILY MARENG KEPIAS! :))

I'm happy right now and I don't even know why. I swear. I've been grinning like a demon child. HAHA.

Shit. I've to go. My mom's getting angry at me. Gaaawd.

SONG: Silverstein's My Heroine

I Lost My Soul To Some Forgotten Dream.

You know what, I just realized that I'm no longer sad -- God, I'm MAD. I swear. I'm furious. I'm irritated. I'm ANGRY.

I took the blame for everything. And now, I think I should stop. Really. I'm so sick of saying "Sorry." I'm so sick of pretending everything's a hell lot better when.. Ok, stop. Anyway, YEAH. FINALLY it dawned on me that I am SICK of SAYING that EVERYTHING'S ALRIGHT.

I'm angry. And, there's no stopping me from getting infuriated.

I would stop feeling sorry for myself. I would stop blaming myself when everything's not working out. I would stop looking at you like you're some kind of god. I would STOP. Period.

Ok, let's focus on the people who loves me and cares for me and thinks that I'm a bright little ray of never fading sunshine. Really.

Who cares if the whole world thinks I'm a psycho? Who cares if some freaks think I'm bullshitting everything? I have my friends. I have some people who, I think, loves me. I have IV1. What's more to ask?

So, goodbye freakshit. Let's really get this OVER with. I'm DONE. Hopefully, for GOOD.

SONG: THIS IS ULTRA GAAAAAY. =)) M2M's Don't Say You Love Me. =))

Phlegm. Shame.

So, it was Palaro day today. And, guess what, IV1 didn't win ANYTHING :| God. I know super bitter ako. As in BITTER talaga. Then again, this is just the BEGINNING. :)) HAHAHA. Anyway, congrats to the winners. Seriously. :)

Our retreat's on Tuesday already. I hope something good happens. Really. I want something nice before I go to the retreat house and dwell on my never ending sins. Hopefully, when we return on Thursday -- I would be a refined person with a prim and proper lady-like mouth. *rolls eyes* Yeah right. Sure. Cows would first learn how to fly before something like that happens to me. It would take 20 miracles to make that happen. HAHA.

I missed my blog. So many things happened this week. So many stuff that I couldn't publicly talk about. Haha. God.

I need a break. Literally. I need a rest from all of these fucked up things. I need to go somewhere, well, peaceful. I need to stay from the stuff that make me unhappy. I mean, hey, I'm very cheery and optimistic this week, right? I hope it lasts until, um, Graduation Day (IF I GRADUATE. *crosses fingers*)

CIAO.


SONG: The Early November's All We Ever Needed

Nevermind.

I'm just some accessory you fancied for five minutes and got tired of after an hour.


Seriously.


******

So, it's the first day of December. 24 more days to go and it's Christmas time already. Why do I have the feeling that I'm super sarcastic? Ohhh. I knooow! Because I AM sarcastic. God. I'm not even excited that Christmas is near anymore. It would just be another ordinary Rina day. So, what's there to be glad about? NOTHING.

I'm so full of testosterone right now and I know it's annoying. Heck. I'm even irritated with myself. Self-loathing at its highest. HAHA.

The only thing I love in this stupid December month is the weather. It's not very hot so you wouldn't get to sweat around all day and look like someone threw a bucket of water at you. I think that's pretty coooool. No, not the part where a bucket of water's thrown at you -- but the part where you could run all day long in circles and not get that, you know, sweaty.

I want to go out. If I'm not grounded and, hell, if I know how to use the tube or cab alone -- I would go to Odessa's house and stay there until 11 PM. Or, I dunno, maybe I could go to some other places with a friend. You know, be invincible. Anywhere but here. I hate being alone -- it makes me think of the stuff I'd rather forget about. It makes me aware of the stuff that could've been or might've been. HAHA.

Whatever.

Anyway, this is something random. You know what, when I grow up, I want something named after me. STRAIGHT FACE. Really! For example, a, um, happy pill. I want it to be called the Rina Pill. I mean, since I'm almost always happy (WELL. Minus these couple of days where everything's fucked up and messed up.) God. I need something to be named after me. HAHAHA. Ambisyosa.

Whatever.

I REALLY NEED GEGO'S PASSWORD so that I could FINALLY, FINALLY change her layout. HAHAHA.

SONG: Britney Spears' Sometimes. HAHA.

Define: ODESSA

This is a HELL harder than I thought. I thought it was just another descriptive thingy where you have to define a person and tell good stuff about her. Jesus. I just realized that this thing is WORK. It's draining the genius out of me. HAHAHA.

How could I describe Odessa Vidallon? UGH. Why did I even choooose heeeer? HAHAHA. Kidding. :)) I mean, I want it to be special since it's Odessa. The main problem is that I don't know how to start. I don't want to sound, um, patrionizing. But, I want to show Odessa in a GREAT and BRIGHT light. HAHAHA. God. I am so caught in between.

How could I tell everybody that she's one of the most optimistic people I know? How could I possibly explain and elaborate her vivacious attitude? How could I explain in just a couple of words how her sunny atmosphere makes everyone smile? Can you see my dilemma?

I'll get to this. SOON. Gaaaahd. I need something to boost my brain.

One Day You'll Get Sick Of Saying That Everything's Alright.

Gaaawd. I slept at around 4.10 then I woke up at 8. What's wrong with me?

Hmm. Let me see, it seems like everybody watched Twilight the movie already. I dunno. I'm not really thrilled, no offense. I mean, yeah sure, it's ok for me to watch it -- it's also ok if I didn't catch it. Get it? Actually, I'm looking forward to the movie "The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button." I first saw its trailer when I watched Max Payne. And honestly, TCCOBB is more interesting than Twilight (No offense..) I swear. It's also a plus that Brad Pitt's going to play Benjamin Button! :">

No classes tomorrow. Super cool. I can stay up late! I also have the prerogative to not sleep at all! YEY-UH!

7 hours ago, I watched "21". GOD. It was so fucking cool! Although, I don't really know what's going on with the cards-thingy since I don't play Black Jack. Still, you get my point, right? The story was awesome. I was literally gripped. COOLIO! :D Believe me, if you haven't watched it yet -- you're missing a quarter of your life. Seriously.

UGH. I'm so sleepy but I couldn't sleep. My eyes are flickering but I couldn't close them. Something's really, really, really wrong.

UGH. I think my writing's pretty crappy these days. I don't get it. I really don't. I must really be messed up because I don't like anything I write or blog these days.

SIGHS. You didn't just suck the happiness out of me -- You also drained MY capability to express myself. How am I supposed to get up now?

Maybe I overrated myself. It's high-time I realize that I'm not that important. God, I hoped I was, well, special. Then again, I'm just some piece of shit who got whirled inside your precious bubble, right? I might as well stop -- I would. I SHOULD.

Every Minute With Her Was Full Of Pain. But, Every Minute Without Her Was Even Worse.

"Kailangan mong bumalik sa sarili mo."
-Lourdes Sabellina

I agree -- kasi, LINTEK, hindi ko na alam ang ginagawa ko sa sarili ko ehh. Too much drama's causing me trauma. YEY-UH! That rhymes! :))

Anyway, another date with Lourdes on Tuesday! YEY!

Today's not really a bad day. Although I'm very disappointed because I didn't get to hang out with Jodie, Odessa, and Eryel. UGH. Boooohooooo.

New layout -- AGAIN. I got tired of the brown-layout thingy. UGH.

Gaaad. I need Gego's password so I could change her layout already! :))

I've noticed that I'm very random. :| Hmm. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Jesus. Maybe I'm very bangag na. I need to catch some Z's.

G'night :)

SONG: Paramore's Brighter :)

If You Run Away Now, Will You Come Back Around?

Dear God,

I'm very very very confused and I don't know what to do. All I'm asking now is that you help me in every decision I make. Help me make the right decisions -- the ones I wouldn't mourn about. Please? You know I hate crying and all those drama. But, what's going on? I've been crying for ages -- my eyes hurt. Seriously.

I'm not just mentally drained -- I'm emotionally drained too. I feel numb and I act numb, even my friends say that it's as if I'm not even with them -- I don't talk anymore, I don't smile anymore.

You know I tried everything I could. Then again, you have those twisted plans that I could only comprehend when I'm in my proper state.

I'm not a fucking stop-over. I'm a destination. It hurts like hell. Seriously.

Anyway, help me, please? I'm begging.

AMEN.

I'm LONG-ing :))

Ok. Call me "fickle" or anything.. BUT GOOOD. I'm IN LOOOOVE all over again! Guess who's the lucky guy..?

MATT LONG!

Gaaaawd. It's as if an angel came down from Heaven! :">

So, OKAAAAY. He's not my usual type of guy. He's only 20-something. And, well, he's not old and father-figure-y. Right? Ok, this is an improvement. :D I'm human after all! HOORAY!

Well, this is just a fling -- I could feel it. There's not enough spark. :)) But, for the mean time, since it is here.. I might as well enjoy the moment and stare at Matt Long.. And try hard not to salivate on my shirt. :"> HAHAHA.

I am SO over Billy. I swear. It took me only, um, a day to realize that! I decided that he's not worth it since he chose Linzi over moi. I was hurt. And he did that deliberately. Hmpf. Bitter much? :))

Kidding. Ok. Matt. Don't worry -- it's your turn. I'm going to focus on you, K? There's no need to fret. Just give me all your attention and love and I would be the most, um, loyal WIFE ever. HAHAHA =)) That cracked me up :))

Don't worry nga Matty. I'll stay loyal to you. For a while. HAHA :)) ANO BA MAAATT. Wag ka na masyadong demanding, OK?


So, pick me up at 8? See ya, Matt! :)) I'll wear the sexy thong you bought me. HAHAHAHA =))


Yuck. Ang landi :)) It's just anoter weird Rina-Fantasy. :D

Besides, mabilis din tong mawawala. Believe me. :)

Either Way, You'll Break My Heart Someday

"Bakit ba baliktad ang mundo. Kapag nasisiyahan hindi pwedeng forever. Dadating at dadating din ang panahon na magshishift ka ng mood at magiging badtrip ka pa. Kadalasan pang nangyayari na mas mahirap tanggalin ang pagkabadmood kesa sa pagkamasaya."

-Monece Francisco

I agree. That's what's so ironic. How can you not stay happy for a loooooong time? I don't see any reason why euphoria has to end. One minute you're tuper duper happy, ecstasy to the nth level -- then, the next moment *POOF* stupid problems come. Then what? You grovel underneath because you couldn't take the pressure and you couldn't face defeat. You give up.

Okaaaaay. I know I'm talking about myself :)) Still. I don't know how to change that attitude of mine. I don't know how to look at half-full bottles or glasses. I don't know how to look at the cloud's silver lining.

I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't blame myself wholy for this. I mean, I was brought up without, you know, any kind of BIG problems -- most of the time, no problems at all. (Well, okaaay. My main problem is that I always fight with my parents.. Er. Is that unusual? NO. See?) So, when something new comes up -- I don't know what to do. I just stare at it and weigh everything in my head. If I feel I could do it, fine, I stay happy. But, if I think I couldn't -- I just give up.

My mom said that it's a pathetic thing to throw my life away. My father even said that because he always gives in to me -- I'm spoilt and very ready to give up and, um, IGNORANT. K. That's insulting. I'm not that ignorant.. Am I? I mean, I could cross the road ALONE now! SEE? That's an improvement, right? Well, anyway, that's not the main point -- the thing is, they told me that I could do it. I should just keep myself motivated.

BECAUSE -- IF I DON'T DO IT -- BAH. No more FUN days for me. I swear. They hinted that. It's as if they're looking at my eyes and telling me, "Read between the lines, Rina. READ."

SO. You don't have to wonder why I'm sulky these days. I'm grounded FOR LIFE. :| ... Plus, CB's a bitch. HAHAHAHAHA. K. Nasingit ko padin yon. UGH. I swear, sometimes I get moodier when I see her. It's as if some Cancer-Giving god came down and granted her that absurd look. Pathetic.

Ok, that's LOW. Even for my own standard. :)) HAHAHAHA. HECK. It's NOT my fault she looks like and she's like some filthy bug -- ask her. SUICIDE. UGH. She knows I'm mad at her -- then, why can't she just stop? Is she really trying to piss me off? :| She bloody knows. She fucking knows.

I should shut up now. I'm getting furious.

Cheers. :)

SONG: Bowling For Soup's Captain Hook.

One More Chance. =))

This is WEIRD. I think my old feelings for my bitter ex (HAHAHA) is returning. :|

HOMAYGAD.




Should I still accept you WILLIAM DEAN MARTIN..? After all that we've been through. I mean, honey, I realized that you're too young for me. I want some action. I want someone more mature. And, sadly, you're young.. You're inexperienced (I THINK..? NOT. HAHAHA.) .. Yet -- you're HOTT. Shit :)) What's going on with me?

Seriously. I think I'm having an itsy-bitsy crush on him again. Oh for the love of God.. *sighs*




Sadly, He's MARRIED. Ok, I think I'm destined to be a HOMEWRECKER. Still, at least what I'm "wrecking" are fantasies and ILLUSIONS -- NOT REAL STUFF. Like the one someone's doing to me and my 10-month-old love (Figure that out. HAHA.) ER. Nauna ako. So, HINDI PWEDE talaga. AKIN LANG. AKIN LANG. Find some other person to whore over -- SHE'S MINE. K?

Akala mo naman kung ano, no? :))

Fine Billy. I'm going to give you another chance. Ok? Don't ruin this moment. This is your LAST chance. =))

I'm Screaming "I Love You So." -- My Thoughts You Can't Decode.

*Sighs*

The simple things in life make my heart swell with -- JOY. :)

SUPER. :)

So, i had a date with Lourdes yesterday at Tapa King. GAAAAWD. SUPER FUN! Ansaya saya nya talaga kasama at kausap! Sobrang comfortable ako magkwento lang ng magkwento ng magkwento ng magkwento sa kanya! SWEAR. Hmm.. Tas wala kaming ginawang dalawa kundi tumawa ng tumawa ng tumawa :)) ANO BAAA. Natatawa kaya ako sa kanya! :))

Anyway, I super LOOOOVE Lourdes! We should have another date! Nakakabitin yung kahapon! :| HAHAHA :))

I'm seated at the front part again. Boofuckinghoo. How can I eat during classes? :| HAHAHA. JOKE. Fine. I'm going to maximize the benefits in my seat. Whatever it is. Everythiiiiing. Every fuuuucking thing. :) K? Shoot. Labo ko na naman.

*****

Something different:

I played Volleyball-Strip with some other iv1 kids in the lawn. SUPER FUN. Kahit unfair dahil ako lang yung nagstrip! :| ANDAYA NILA. Super plinano nila na sakin itapon yung bola para daw hindi ko masalo o ano!

I think it was Lia's idea to strip whenever you miss the ball. I swear. Tas she said, "Nako! Dapat pataas yung paghuhubad.. *silence* AYYY! Wag pala! Kasi after ng rubbershoes, jogging pants na yung kasunod!" SUPER FUNNY! HAHAHAHAHA =))

Anyway, I joined the game kasi nga mayabang akoooo. I thought I was invincible.. I thought that I could hit the ball whenever it was aimed at me (which is MOST of the time. HAHA.).. *SIGHS* In the end, ako yung naka-sando nalang. Tas when I missed the ball -- again at pinapatanggal na saken yung sando ko, sabe ko kay Sienna, "Tara na Sienna. Tutor na tayo." HAHAHAHA. Kasiii naman. May lalaki kaya! Ayoko naman na naka-bra lang ako sa lawn tas andon yung lalaki! =))

I have this theory na kapag ganyan ang rules sa paglalaro ng Volleyball -- lahat ng Theresians magiging magaling sa volleyball.. Paghuhubarin ka ba naman kapag hindi mo natira yung bola. DIBA? =))

Naks. Tumatagalog na ko :))

SONG: Paramore's Decode.

Some State Of Normalcy.

NOT.

I'm freaking out AGAIN. I've been freaking out a LOT these past few, um, months. I know everybody's getting sick of it. Then again. What am I supposed to do? I'm just being honest.

AHHHH. Shit. What's wrong with ME?

*****

Date tomorrow with Lourdes :) HAHA. I'm EXCITED!

SONG: DCFC's Cath

It's All Up To You Now.

I'm giving you all of my trust. I swear.

*****

Tapa King yesterday with ii1. GAAAAWD. I miss those guys :)) Like. REALLY. We saw Jolo Revilla. TSSS. Too bad Joan and I didn't get a chance to have a picture taken with our IDOL. *rolls eyes* HAHAHAHA.

*****

No classes TODAY. Duhh. Obviously. PAASCU days were -- stupid. I swear. I freaked out and I prepared and then, what, we were only observed ONCE. Hmpf. Ohwell :)) So, we're kinda lucky, I guess. :D

Ohwell. I'll update again. Later :)) My mom's egging me to eat lunch. UGH.

SONG: The Good Kind by The Wreckers

From Beyiia My Loooove :)

Got this one from Beyiia :)) I'm doing this for her. :))

Once accepting this award, the rules as follows:

• Put the logo on your blog.
• Add a link to the person who awarded you.
• Nominate 10 other blogs.
• Leave a message for your nominees on their blogs.

Weeell. Since I don't believe in rules, I'm only going to nominate 8 people :))

• Jodie Tanedo
• Eryel Villanueva
• Chezca Bajandi
  
• Beyiia Santos (Yes. Love kita ehh.)
• Pauiie Nagpala
• Lourdes Sabellina
• Genine Go

and lastly:

• MONECE FRANCISCO

HAHAHA :)) Ohwell. Why not? Who told you that RULES should, um, rule your life? NAH-UH. It's meant for breaking. HAHAHAHA :))

You Won't Get Me Anyway.

You know, I've realized that it's more melodramatic if it's in English. I'm going to try Tagalog. :))

Ampanget ng feeling. I swear. Hindi ko na alam yung gagawin ko. Alam ko inis na inis na sila Jodie, Eryel, at Sienna sa kakaulit ulit ng sinasabe ko. Pero WTF, kung hindi naman kasi ako magsasalita feeling ko sasabog nalang ako bigla.

I'm so sick of pretending that everything's FINE, everything's OK, when really -- it's NOT. And, frankly, I don't think that it will ever be OK. So, I guess Eryel's right -- I just have to face it because, well, it's life. It's either I face this or I lose entirely -- without even fighting. Haha.

So, anyway, Eryel, we'll get by. Yuuuh. Maybe not SOON -- but, EVENTUALLY.

*Naks. At least I have a paragraph consisting of Tagalog words only. :>

SONG: Simple Plan's Addicted. *SIGHS* Those were the days. :))

Maybe Not Now -- But, What Will Happen Later?

I said I'm going to return to the old-Rina. But, how come I can't just go forward? Everytime I take a step forward, I'd look back and then I would take two steps backward. UGH. Dysphoria's at its peak again. I hate it. I don't want it. :| Clearly, this is just a feeble attempt to make myself smile. And honestly, it's pathetic.

Honestly, sometimes I HATE weekends. I hate it because when there's nothing to do (which is 1% of the time.. HAHAHA. God. What's wrong with me?) I get to sit down and think about all of my imperfections and, um, everything BAD. See? Hmmm, 14 years ago, that was never my set-up. I love weekends because I get to do whatever I want. Like mall-hop, blog-hop.. Whatever. Nowadays, all I want to do is stay in bed and.. contemplate. SEE? SOMETHING'S REALLY WRONG WITH ME. UGH.

I swear I'm not stopping. I'm not. If I have to look for a mermaid to make me go back to my old self -- I would do it. If I have to sweep the floors in STC to make myself happy again -- I would do itl. If I have to stop blogging -- Ahhh.. Ibang usapan na yan. :)) Still. You get me, right? I really mean it when I said I'm going back. I just have to set my mind on things. I have to. :D

Or maybe something's NOT wrong with me.. Maybe something's wrong with CB.. And, frankly, it makes me want to really kill her. Like REALLY. I'm never the type of kid who holds grudges -- but this time, it's different. Heck, SHE makes me miserable. Seriously. She makes me SAD. (The bad part is that: we don't even know each other. Hmpf.) And, she should congratulate herself for being the first person in the universe to make me feel this way. Cheers.

Ok. Forget I said anything and pretend that I'm a happy pancake. Keep smiling, gaddamnit. :D :D :D TRIPLE GRINS IN A ROW!! YEY-UH!!

All's GOOD. I'm GOOD.

But Do You Know That When You Go I Fall Apart?

Yep. I changed my layout -- AGAIN. For the, um, 8th time this month? HAHA. I realized that my previous layout has a very tiny screen. UGH. But, I do love that layout -- when I get bored with this one and I couldn't find something ok, I would return that layout. :D

Cheers.

This one's like my other layouts. No clicks. Just a simple "GIVE IT ALL" layout. I couldn't find anything else. But, if I do find something else -- Imma change it again. HAHAHA.

I'm sorry if my constant layout-changing's annoying you. I just need this to distract myself from some stuff. K? Sorry.

SONG: I'm country-ish right now :)) The Wreckers' The Good Kind. Oh my god. I so love Michelle Branch :">

I Can't Just Walk Away.

So, yesterday Jodie, Ampy, Eryel, Sienna and I went to Dencio's. There were LOTS of people in Yellow Cab so I said, "Dencio's nalang." Wala ehh. Mayabang kame =)) No, honestly, we used Ampy's credit card -- again.

The first time we used it, we ate at Yellow Cab -- Ampy, Odessa, Eryel, and I. That was before Jodie's 16th and after Dorilie's 16th.. So, yesterday we ate at Dencio's to, um, celebrate the post-Jodie's-16th thingy. Too bad Dorilie and the others weren't there. :| Spur of the moment kasi. I swear. Sobrang, "Oh, san na tayo? Dencio's nalang? Dencio's na nga lang!"

Don't worry. We divided everything and we're going to pay Ampy as soon as we get our money. HAHA.

There was this funny thing when, I think it was Eryel who said, "Tinanong mo ba kung tinatanggap yung credit card mo?" OHMYGOOOD. :)) LAHAT KAME NATIGILAN. =)) As in, napatingin lahat kami kay Ampy. Then, we asked the lady if they accept BDO cards -- it's a good thing she said "Yes" kasi kinukundisyon ko na yung sarili ko na maghugas ng mga plato. =))

After Dencio's, Eryel, Sienna, and I went to McDo Banawe :)) Nang unang nagpunta kame don para maghanap ng mauutangan, andon na sila Mareng Metch at Sosa -- pagbalik namen, andon padin sila :)) HAHA. Medyo malaki ang utang na loob ko kay Mareng Metch dahil tinulungan nya akong mangutang sa kaibigan ng kapatid nya na Freshie. :)) Don't fret -- iniwan ko naman yung I.D. ko para proof na babayaran ko yung bata. =))

*****

I think I'm doing fine. :| I don't want to mess up. I'm ok, right? I'm doing fine then something came up -- again. *sighs*

I need Jodie's boat.. I hope to sail away with her. :|

*****

Oh yeah. Something to be happy about: JODIE RETURNED IPE TO MEEEEE! Cheers!! I so missed my iPod. :"> Pero, I love Jodie more kaya ok lang na hindi ko muna nakasama si Ipe ng two days. :)

SONG: The Wreckers' Leave The Pieces

The Baby's SIXTEEN!

Baby, Baby :))

Honestly, I never imagined that we would be close. I thought that you would just be another schoolmate or another classmate. Then again, who knew?

You stayed by me when I was grumpy and annoying. You never left my side when I was down. You were always ALWAYS there to make me smile. So, I guess this greeting is not enough to tell you how much you mean to me.

HAPPY SIXTEENTH, JODIE!

Of course I'll miss you if you leave me. Of course I'll be sad when we no longer see each other 24/7. Duuuh. You're my significant other. :) Wag ka na nga maghanap ng ibang tao dahil andito naman ako ehh. Ok? HAHAHA. Pero seriously, hindi na naten kelangan ng iba, ok? I swear. :) Ganito kasi yung analogy ko, kung si Homer Simpson may Marge Simpson, AKO may Jodie Tanedo. :)) SERYOSO KAYAAA.

So, anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, love. We're ALL OLD NOW :))

I LOVE YOU JODIE :)

And So The Story Goes..

It's 12.27 in the morning and I'm still NOT done with the HW. I don't know what to do with the Researcg thingy. UGH. And I don't know my effing tribe. "What tribe did you come from?" Gaaahd. Am I supposed to have my family background researched thoroughly? What if I came from a long line of assassins? HAHA. Who would know the difference anyway?

I haven't checked Mons blog -- yet. ANO BAAAA. Super popular na ng blog ni Mons! I SWEAR. Yung mga tao nagpupunta lang sa blog ko dahil may link ako ni Mons. =)) K. USER! JOOOOKE. :)) Pero, I super swear, it's worth it -- super panalo talaga! Actually, these past few days -- she made me smile. A LOT. It's hilarious, the way she says things as it is. Her direct-to-the-point opinions. No hesitations -- just bluntness. :) I think it's a change from the stuff I'm used to. :) It's a GOOD change.

I'm in the brink of hysteria. There's so many things to do and I don't know how to finish everything. I told you I'm being a responsible child -- and, I'm doing it. I think? I mean, so far, I'm not really late in any of the major requirements. Plus, I put effort in all the things I do. I PROMISE.

Dorilie just turned 16 yesterday. ILLLLY DORILIE! YEY-UH! She couldn't call me "OLD" now! But then she said, "Pero, malapit ka na mag-seventeen." SWEET MUCH? *rolls eyes* HAHAHA. Yeeeah. I know. And, I'm planning to make my 17th birthday memorable. :) Well, okay, since it's also my Graduation Day (Jesus Christ. I HOPE I graduate.) I'm planning to treat my friends to Baguio! (My recess-mates and lunch-mates, most probably.) YEY-UH! K, naadik naman ako sa Baguio =)) I swear, when we were in Baguio, what, last, last week, I told my mom that I want to treat my friends to Baguio for my Seventeenth Birthday. She said, "Here? What would you do here?" I shrugged, "There's a mall naman in case we get bored." Then she said, "*laughs* Ok. Sure."

SO. SO. If I GRADUATE -- WE'RE OFF TO BAGUIO.. On the 26th, most probably, since Graduation Day's on the 25th. :D :D YAY! I'm EXCITED! It's something to look forward to! Well, unless my father says "NO." Which I HOPE won't HAPPEN. I mean, my mom agreed ALREADY! Besides, it's my birthday!

*SIGHS*

I hope Dorilie, Jodie, Chezca, Eryel, Odessa, Ampy, and Rachel would be allowed to go. I want us to be complete -- for once. :)

HAHAHA. OMG. I'm planning my 17th birthday already when I don't even know if I would graduate or not. Jesus. I WISH I would graduate. I WISH I WOULD.

Two more sleeps and it's Jodie's turn to get old. :) ILY JODIE!

There's NO Way I'm Playing THAT Game.

I am so happy today! I swear! Nothing's going on with my tuper-duper boring life -- so, it's really something when I say I'm happy. :D See? I told you Rina's BAAACK :D

I just realized that I have *claps* amazing friends, perfect classmates, and, um, suicidal SUBJECTS -- what more can I possibly ask for? My life's complete with all those twist and turns and traumas Trigo and Physics could give you. That's enough drama, right? :)) I don't need anything else. :) I'm, um, honest-to-goodness OKAY. I'm good. :)

And yeah, like what Lourdes said in her old post (Sorry. I can't remember when.. And, sorry I couldn't apply the MLA format. God, I suck. :| ) "When God closes a door, he opens several windows.." Or something like that. Still. You get my drift, right? So, I guess it's the same for me. He quietly closed a door to make me realize that it's not the only thing worth seeing. :) There are more windows out there that are waiting to be opened. CHEERS. :))

Gaaaaawd. I'm so happy I'm literally flipping! :D I couldn't say that my life is perfect at the moment since some things should still be smoothened and polished -- but, I could, well, say that even if I'm walking on a rough road right now -- I'm contented. I am. I'm all smiles now. :D Who cares if everbody thinks I'm retarded? Who effing cares?

See? I'm not even bitter. Told you I'm good. :)

CHEERS. :)

P. S. The only thing I'm worrying about right now is the distribution of cards tomorrow. I'm expecting Ms. Gino to tell me that my parents should get my card. UGH. I'm DOOMED. Physics. I so HATE YOU.

SONG: Sum 41's So Long Goodbye. I'm Sum 41-ish at the moment. Might sound weird but I adore this band even before the Deryck-Avril thingy.

OLA! LOLA! =))

So, AYAN, 16 ka na din! Hindi mo na ako pwedeng asarin na matanda dahil magkasing-age na tayo :> :>

Anyway, dude, thanks :) Thanks kasi, ewan, minsan parang mas tama yung decisions mo para saken kesa yung mga nagagawa ko para saken. Gets ba? Basta. Kaso nga lang ang tigas ng ulo ko, diba? So, yun padin gusto ko yung sinusunod ko tas pag sobrang palpak -- ayon, sobra sobrang pagsisisi yung ginagawa ko. Pero kahit andami kong kapalpakan.. Hindi mo padin ako iniiwan. I dunno. I think it's touching. I mean, ilang beses ka na bang napagalitan at napahamak dahil saken? :)) HAHA.

DORILIIIIIIE. Happy 16th birthday!

Sorry kung ang inconsiderate ko minsan. Tas, HOY, hindi kaya ako nagtataksil sayo. Ikaw nga yung harap-harapan mag-taksil ehh! HMPF. HAHA. Pero dahil birthday mo ngayon, feel free to do whatever you want. HAHAHAHA.

I love you Dorilie :) Thaaaanks. Happy Birthday ulet. :)

We All Fall Down Sometimes.

I changed my layout -- AGAIN. I KNOOOOW. Super ADHD. But, I have to forget about some stuff. Besides, I feel like changing it from black to white :D What can you say? I told you I'm going back to the old-super-childish-Rina. I'm returning, right? :) I'm excited! I'm going to be FUN again! :)) YEY! YEY! YEY!

I haven't done my Physics and Rel HW. I can't understand the Rel HW so I might as well pass it on.. Tuesday? Or Wednesday? Any other day but Monday. I swear. At least I'm done with the Elective and the Theresian Mag stuff! YEY! YEY!

It feels weird, but I actually think it's ok to go to school tomorrow. :D SEE?! I'm really returning! HOMAAAAYGAAAD. YEY-UH! YEY-UH! I would dance the congo right now if I know how! I'm, um, elated. I don't know why :D Or maybe it's because I'm going to see my friends again tomorrow! YEY-UH! YEY-UH!!

The only glitch is that we have Eco tomorrow -- and, I'm actually scared to see Sir Zaraspe again :| I think he's still mad at me. :| Shoot. What am I going to doooo? It's all Pia's fault. :| HAHA. K. But, since it's her birthday today -- I might as well just forget about it. *sighs*

See you guys tomorrow :)

Ciao.

But If I Had To Say Goodbye To Leave This Hell, I'd Say My Time Has Served Me Well.

I'm going to go back to the veeeery old Rina -- super numb and naive. :) I swear. Things are a lot better to take when I'm that way. :D

Hmmm. What's there to talk about? OH YEAH. Tomorrow is Dorilie's 16th! YEY-UH! And on Nov. 13, it's Jodie's 16th! YEY! Double celebration! Wow, I've just realized that Jodie's the baby. HAHAHA. Oh well. She's a hell-lot more mature than me. Cheers!

I bought the book "The Host" since Gego said it was a nice book. I'm reading it and I'm telling you that it's complex. I thought it was just a toilet book. You could imagine my shock when I began to read it and wince at the complication of the story. Oh well.. Serves me right for judging a book by it's cover. HAHA.

See you tomorrow. I don't want to go to school -- but, I don't have a choice. I couldn't ruin my neat record of "No Absents" since First Year. SEE? I'm good. HAHA.

All's good. All's effing good. I think. :D

SONG: Still, STILL Sum 41's Over My Head.

Shut Up And Drive!

For once I'm not going to rave about anything -- I'm actually LAUGHING =)) Mons gave me her blog's URL. SUPER BENTA ng mga posts nya! =)) I SWEAR. There was this article where she described the setting of her, um, suicidal place =)) I was literally shaking and guffawing! =)) She made my day :) Honestly! SUPER PANALO! =)) I was LAUGHING like a possessed-demon, Yo had to stare at me. Si Gazeebs talaga, oo! =)) "Ohh ayan pa labas na kami, ibalik mo na sa MS WORD."

On the other hand, all I did today is to finish the compilation of the iii1-iv1 pictures. I miss my third year life :( It was a hell-lot better than this fucked-up 4th yr. experience. *sighs*

Oh well. I'm going to rest for a while then I'm off to finish some Theresian Mag responsibilities *sighs* I'm going to reread Mons' blog. It makes me forget everything :) I SWEAR BASAHIN NYO! You'll get me!

SONG: Sum 41's Over My Head :)

This Hypocrisy Is Beginning To Get To Me.

.. Or maybe it's just plain karma?

UGH. I ought to be a good girl :( Sadness is becoming my middle name and I honestly, honestly, honestly hate it. So much for the 100 or so comments like "Rina, buti ka pa! Parang ang saya saya mo palagi!", "Rina! Nakakainggit ka! Para kang walang problema." Delusional retards :)) That made me laugh :)) Akala nyo lang yon. Kasi, WEEELL, magaling ako mag-tago :)

But, seriously, these past few months -- it seems like I've morphed or something. SUPER EEEW. My emotional stability is, I dunno, super UNSTABLE. I've been experiencing dysphoric feelings just because. UGH. Screw you, screw you -- fucking screw you. Me. Whatever.

Oh well. It's really just karma :) I can feel it. So, to solve this problem -- I'm going to be a good girl. I'm going to try not to be mean to Yo and, er, E. :)) If I have to kiss CB's ass -- so be it. NOT. That's going to far. That Freakshit-Bitch deserves NONE of my, um, kindness and.. Mercy? =)) FUNNY. =)) HAHAHA. No. But, I promise -- I'm not going to, um, be mean. Anymore.

I'm not giving up. I'm just going to try less. K =)) It's almost the same thing.. Oh well. Whatever.

"Who said it was easy to put back all of these pieces?"
-Sum 41.

.. Who said it was easy to try SO hard? I don't need pity -- that's for sissy's (Is an apostrohe necessary..? Jesus) All I need is some patience.

Figure that out :)

Life's bound to get better. HOPEFULLY.

Ciao.

SONG: Sum 41's Over My Head :)

It's Not About The Drama.

I was taking a bath, what, 30 minutes ago and I've realized that I'm starting not to care. REALLY. Wow. That's NEW. Anyway, I am SERIOUS. I was washing my hair when, I dunno, something snapped -- then I thought that it's not really worth it.. You know.. All the worrying and all those nervousness you're giving me. HAHAHA :))

Actually, I'm sort of still, um, worrying. I mean, you're still my friend. Whatever happens -- you will always always be my friend. K? It's just that it seems like for a very very very very long time, I'm the one making all the effort. I'm the one trying hard to reach you or just, I dunno, talk to you. And, honestly, I don't really think it's fair. :D

It's too early to talk or say I'm 100% fine, that I'm A-OK.. But, as of this moment -- I'm not even giving the 84% a shot -- it's more of a 57%.. Or a 53..?

After all that we've been through, make me feel like I'm still your friend. That somehow, you still think I'm important. K? Make some effort. Make me feel loved. :| 'Cause I've been super honest how important you are to me. K?

Figure that out.

Ciao :)