You only know what I want you to, I know everything you don't want me to.

I find myself updating more often since, like what I've said, I cut off a lot of people so sometimes when I want to sprak - I just need to like talk to myself and put my words out there, you know? Like I'm talking to the void. It's sort of cathartic, tbh. PLUS, I honestly feel super guilty because I neglected this space last year! And I kept on bringing up how this blog has been with me since I was 14 y/o - then I abandoned it for a year. 🥹🥲

I just finished the module on Schistosoma. Can I just say - gosh, Dr. Toom is such an amazing professor. My friends and I are raving about him. He teaches SO WELL plus HE CARES. He always says stuff like, "We're in this together" or "We'll cross the finish line together." I could really feel the care and the love. PLUS!!! He integrates everything! So like, if our topic is Infectious Diseases - all subjects that cover it would be tackled. Like Micro, Para, Ana, Pharma, IM - all Infectious Diseases! That worked for me in medical school eh. Way, way, way, way back, that's what my dad and my psych observed. They said they thought PBL would be more helpful for me (since I have ADHD) - eh anong magagawa ko, di naman ako member ng CHED, diba? HAHAHAHA kahit mag-rally ako mag-isa, wala naman mangyayari. Pero anyway, I love Dr. Toom. I would really trust his process, and by God, STOP PROCRASTINATING. Gurrrl, you ain't smart - gumalaw galaw ka na dyan. Dami mo pa backlogs. 

Idk when I started it, I can't remember actually, but for the longest time, my blog titles are song lyrics. It's something that currently resonates with me OR something I'm LSS-ed with. So, right now it's Poison & Wine. 

I was so into this version back in college (like 2012 era. Dude I just checked my last.fm account. I'm THAT old HAHAHAHAHA) But omg this version is so much better than the OG one. 

Maybe I'm a demanding friend. Actually, I think what I need is also an extrovert or ambivert friend. Majority of my friends are introverts. Hindi ko gets bakit introvert-magnet ako pero yah. So, anyway, my point is - I have to respect their space, especially if they're socially exhausted already. And I really do get and respect that but, gosh, sometimes I really have a lot of feelings and I don't open up so much and I just feel lonely. I'm alone eh. Gets ba? I always pray for just one ambivert or extrovert bff. JUST ONE. I mean, hello, syempre si Yoongi introvert din so okay lang kasi he's my baby boy HAHAHAHAHA. AND HONESTLY HA, like when I invite people to hang out, oks lang na we do separate things basta we're just together. We don't have to talk or chichi and stuff. We're just together doing our stuff. You know? As in like chill na yun for me. I think I'm pretty low maintenance naman. Pero anyway, I just get really lonely sometimes. I just need someone to match my energy. I'm thankful for my friends pero, yah, it gets pretty lonely sometimes. 

Anyway, pray for me for the boards! And for Nikka to make up her mind because I am so ready for my next 2 tattoos. Baka yun na muna last ko for the next 2 years or so 'cause if that 2 tattoos happen - I will already have eight. Surprise parents hehehehehe.

♥ and ☮

What a week. This was such an awesome, awesome, awesome week! Last Monday, we went to Manaoag, Panggasinan.  Then, we had a little adventure that night.  Last Friday, I got my Death Cab For Cutie tickets + I spent the day with Jodie!  Hihihihi. I'm so happy so, I'm 80% sure that something annoying or disheartening is going to happen.

ANYWAY, can I just say that I can't stop thinking about Nick Wheeler? God, he is such a gorgeous person!  I just want to bury my face on his chest.. Or his hair.. Dear Jesus...

I love Nick and I love Ty.

My body is ready!

Monopoly.

So, yesterday, I hanged out with some of the Perfect Kids.  Jodie was there, so were Eryel, Mons, Gego, Maeka, Hazielle, and Jesileen.  It was a spur of the moment thing and I was really glad that some of them came. Hihihi.  We talked about random things.  God, I missed them so much!  I mean, we just talked and talked and laughed and talked and laughed some more.  We played Pusoy Dos but after a few games, a security guard told us that we couldn't play cards inside the mall.  Later on, Maeka bought the Monopoly cards thing.  OMG.  It was so fun to play!  (Shout out to Jodie and Eryel: WE MUST BUY ONE TOO!)  We were having so much fun when the very same guard came and told us we couldn't play.  Come on!  It was Monopoly.  MONOPOLY!  Ugh.  Oh well.

Gosh.  I've missed them super duper much.  I wish high school didn't have to end.  Nakooooo.  Anyway, since Beyiia wasn't around, there weren't any pictures to post.  :))

On something different, gosh, I want to watch Supernatural season 2 already!  Swear, you guys should also watch it.  It's kind of freaky (although Jonah said that the scariest season was season 1..  After that, it's not so frightening anymore) but I like the story and the action and, well, everything!  I can't wait to start with season 2.  I told my mom to buy me the DVD's.  She told me that she's going to buy me these DVD's tomorrow!  Oh joy!  This is the highlight of my summer..  Watching a lot of TV series' (what's the plural form of SERIES?  Anyway, you get my drift, right?)  ANYWAY, that up there, my friends, is a Supernatural season 2 trailer.  OMG.  Isn't it cool?  I'm so excited to watch it.

Hmmm.  Speaking of things that I want to watch, Jodie said that there's an awesome Sherlock series.  I have to download it too!  After I finish downloading GG, HIMYM, and That 70's Show season 6, I'm going to download that series.  HIHIHI.

Goddamn.

There's a bug flying around the room. And, I'm afraid to check it out. Ugh. I've been ducking for the last 20 minutes whenever the mysterious bug thing's flying.

A few more weeks and.. HALLELUJAH.. It's summer vacation already. THANK GOD. HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAAAAH! Anyway, God, I don't want to fail Phil. Hist. God knows how much I studied for the prelims and the quiz. Huhuhu. If I fail this, I'm going to die. I'm going to die!

My dad's watching Chuck. I missed it sooooo much. Although I'm not updated anymore. I haven't watched Seasons 3 and 4 yet. :(


I like everything about this picture. Well, almost everything. I don't like the bag. It's brown. The girl's wearing black jeans, black and white oxfords.. Anyway, black and brown just doesn't do it for me. @-)

I forgot my night cream at the dorm. God, I used my mom's. And it sucks 'cause it doesn't smell that good. Unlike the one I'm using. HUHU.

Anyway, ok. I have to go. Happy March everybody!

Zipper Bob.

I was sifting through my past posts.. Especially my posts when I was in 4th year, and I thought, man, I could really rant! Haha. To be honest, I was sort of cringing because all of my posts were almost always about *drum roll please* her. God, I was so pathetic. I let my whole world revolve around her that I didn't get to appreciate the other human beings who really, really loves me.

So, what now? I could honestly say that I've gotten over everything. Whenever I remember those things, I just laugh and think, "OMG. I was like that back then?" Things have changed. I've faced the inevitable, indeed -- change.

I met a hell lot of new people. I've bonded with them. Some, I love. Some, I loathe. Some, hates me. Some, likes me. Through all of these things, I am very much proud to say that I've faced it. I've faced everything. And, I've learned to accept the situations banging in front of me. Somehow, I've learned how to get through and live life.

In some ways, I would like to say that I've matured a lot.

But then -- we all know that I'm just kidding myself.

Anyway, to a fresh start? Hello SY 2010-2011.

I Need To Let You Know.

So, U2's Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own's whirling inside my head the whole day. Long time no update. All my fault. I've been too preoccupied with my Tumblr account that I've been a traitor to my Blogger account. I am so very sorry. :( Please forgive me. We've been together for 3 years now.. I wouldn't want to leave you. You've been with me through thick and thin. And now, I'm going to start another chapter in my life (A new school year in layman's term) and I want you to be a part of it. K?

Anyway, The OC's been keeping me company. I'm having a marathon. Season 3.. Here I come! Seth Cohen is such a cutie pie. He reminds me of my brother. Seriously.

Oh yeah, tomorrow's my mom's birthday. What should I do to make it more special? I couldn't really buy her anything because I am literally BANKRUPT. Ugh. I deserve to die. This coming school year, I am so going to save some moolah to buy myself a new cellphone. My 3-year-old cellphone needs to retire. So, yeah. It's a good thing my mom said she's raising my allowance. YEEEEEHAAAAW!

So, yeah. I want my mom to have an extra special birthday. I'm going to be good this coming SY. I promise. 0:-)

SONG: U2's Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own.

It's Ekay's 18th today. I had so much fun. We had a karaoke night-to-day. We got drunk. Actually, Jonah & Ekay didn't get drunk. Hmph. Dunno why. We ate a lot. We had lot of shizzles. And, I made peace with someone.

I'm so happy that she turned 18 na. I wouldn't be the only oldy now. :)))))

Too tired. Talk to you soon.

The Perks Of Being 18.

The perks of being old and wrinkly.. My parents allowed me to go Ekay's overnight-birthday party in Batangas. How friggin' cool is that? OMG. I. AM. SO. EXCITED. I hope Jonah's parents would allow her too. Then again.. I wouldn't be surprised if they didn't allow her.. She's only 17. OK. HAHAHAHA. I'm kidding. Anyway, I am super HAPPY that they allowed me. I'm so going to kiss their asses.

My dad told me that I should try to be a DL, though. I promised even though I know it wouldn't happen. I'm going to try this school year. I so swear.

Anyway, I have to go. We're going to eat dinner. Toodles!

SONG: Miley Cyrus' Party In The USA.

Too Much.

Take a look at my new layout. It's cute isn't it? May I also mention that it's also a hassle to add the tagboard page? When I first got this, there's no tagboard -- so, I decided to put on my HTML skills & add one. Voila! A tagboard at the upper left part of the page. :> Thank you Sir Talens for that wonderful gift of HTML skills! =D>

I was rereading most of my posts this year (Just like what Paula suggested.) And, I realized that I basically focused my life on her. Srsly. Instead of studying -- I would wait for her to text me or PM & we would talk all day. I can't say that it's a waste of time because for a while, she made me really, really, really, really, really, really, really HAPPY & LOVED. But, as the cliche goes -- people always leave -- it's time for her to go. And, I couldn't really do anything to change it. Even if I cling to her for dear life, nothing would change the fact that we're not as close as before & we would never be that close again. The only thing I regret is that I'm going to miss one of my closest friends. One of the five people I could say anything to. Ohwell. I wish her the best -- whatever her endeavors in life is -- I hope she succeeds. :>

I'm so excited for Friday! Are you guys too? I hope you are! I want to see all of you! If you see me, I'm so dalaga na! I swear. I promised myself that I would stop being boyish na. So, World, meet the girl version of Rina. :))

It's 8.52 in the morning. I bet I would post something else later.

BTW, GREET MACKEE TODAY! IT'S HER BIRTHDAY! I LOVE YOU MACKEE! :*

SONG: Skeleton Boy by Friendly Fires.

They Have This Something Called "Phobia."

It was two summers ago when I freaked out & tried to rip my brains off my head because of the reshuffling thing. It was two School Year's ago when I got to know the people that would literally turn my pipes on. It was last summer when I finally realized that Summer is a hell lot of fun than School days. It was THIS summer that I began to rethink about my, hmm, thoughts about last Summer.

I am so lifeless now. No matter what I do, I can't just laugh like Johnny Depp's in front of me. Then again, I think I'm getting better. Seriously! I have a bazillion boys right now! HIHIHI. Ok, I'm devoting my expensive time in watching DVD's & giggling over actors. Odiba? At least ACTORS na. :>

This summer -- I may not have the time of my life.. But, I could make my life worth thinking & smiling over.

Dig in, fellas.. I'M BACK.

All That Time She Was Taking Her For Granted.

Yesterday, all I did was text and bug people. The feeling was so.. FULLFILLING. (Fuck. Is that the proper spelling? *rolls eyes* I so suck in spelling.) ANYWAY, mainly, I was talking to Nicole and Dhia. They're both side-splitting. SWEAR. Although, Nicole and I were talking about more serious stuff -- we did inject some hilarity in our conversation. HAHAHA. On the other hand, Dhia's -- simply FUNNY. I SWEAR. =)) She could crack me up with just one word. :)) Try talking to her and you'll get what I'm saying. :>

It's a FUUUUN WEEEEK. So far, last week was my BEST week for January 2009. I simply ignored everything and, well, bounced back to my old sunny self. :"> Heeeaven :>

I hope this good feeling stays with me until the end of the school year. Boy, talking about the end of the school year.. I'm sure as hell that I'm going to miss everybody. SWEAR. I'm going to miss my friends. 'Cause, honestly, I feel more loved when I'm in school than when I'm in my own house.

Ohweeeell. Imma update again later. K? :)

SONG: Sean Kingston's Take You There. OHA. Humi-hiphop na ako. If we're not close, you wouldn't get me. :))

We're One Mistake From Being Together -- But, Let's Not Ask Why It's Not Right.

After those bad news, I must say that this week is one hell of a week! I had loads of fun during recess, lunch, and dismissal, er, periods :> Why? FREE TIME. K. :))

One day, I'll have the guts to elaborate everything! :) Right now, let's just see what's going to happen.

McDo (as usual) with Jodie, Eryel, Sienna, Claudette, Marian, Mackee, and Sandra plus Nicole today. Too bad Sandra's mom came early. Too bad Mackee's mom called her and told her to go to TriNoma. We'll have others. Hahaha. :))

I've realized that caramel is stickier than chocolate. I swear! UGH. Random. It's already 11.28PM. I think I ought to sleep. I only had 2 hours of sleep.. Maybe that's why I'm so BANGAG na. HAHAHA. Gego taught me how to use strikethroughs. K. :))

P.S.: We're doing something that could actually make Ampy.. HAPPIER. :)

SONG: Metro Station's Seventeen Forever :)

Love Grows Where My Rosemary Goes.

Gawd. I'm so mooning over Edison Lighthouse's "Love Grows (Where My Rosemary Goes)." It's such a fun song although, it's really, really old. It was played in Shallow Hal and Little Manhattan. Gawd. I loooove Little Manhattan. I swear. :">


"Look at me. I can bounce back. I don't need some girl in my life for me to happy."
- Gabe; Little Manhattan


Well said, Gabe. Well said. :)) Mygod. You ought to watch that movie. Josh is so cuuuute and Charlie Ray's okay too. If you haven't watched it yet -- MYGOD. You're missing half of your euphoric life. The movie's so worth it. You get to smile because of the naivety of kids. You get to laugh at those silly situations. You get to say, "Hey! I know that feeling! I've been there! I've done that!"

Believe me. :>

Ohwell. I love Josh Hutcherson. (Is the spelling correct? Ugh. I so suck in spelling.) Anyway, I love him and his movies. I think he's a really good actor. In Zathura, he portrayed his character really well. He's such a dick to Danny, it made me want to shake the life out of him. In RV, he's also, well, GOOD. Oooops, I'm blabbering, am I? I should shut up now. :P Just watch Little Manhattan. You'll get what I'm saying.


Ohwell. I'm watching Dream Catcher right now. God. It's so freaky. It's giving me the creeps. Those stupid butt-looking worms are.. hair rising. I've been screaming -- my mom laughed and raised her eyebrows at me and my dad told my brother to turn off the TV because the neighbors might hear my screams and they might think that I'm being abused or something. Hahaha. Funny. :))

I might update again later. :P

CHEERS :)

SONG: Edison Lighthouse's Love Grows (Where My Rosemary Goes.) THIS IS A REALLY FUN SONG. AAAAAHHH.

I Wish It Was Something More Than That.

After a couple of hours, I changed my layout from the music thingy to a pink "Conquer the world" one.. Then, I got bored so I changed it.. AGAIN. God, the doings of the jaded and weary kid.

My mom's funny. She's discovering the beauty of the Cyberworld. She was so giddy this morning when she woke me up.

M: Rina! You could watch movies in the internet pala! I saw this site and I've been watching movies non-stop!
R: *raises eyebrows* Oo kaya! I used to watch GG's Season 2 in the net kasi hindi pa showing dito sa Philippines. Besides, para advance ako. HAHA. Kaso I'm stuck in Episode 7. Tinatamad na ako ehh.
M: Oh? *lips like an "O"* Ang galing no?
R: *rolls eyes* Ma, anong century na? San ka ba nakatira? Sa ilalim ng bato?
M: Ehh, well, ngayon lang ako nagkaka-time mag-explore ehh. Anyway, I made an account in *site here, I can't remember what* I've been watching movies since 11pm until 5.30am! Wala pa nga akong tulog ehh. Inaantok nga ako ngayon.
R: *pauses* Grabe. Ang adik.

WTF =)) When we finished that conversation -- I was really LAUGHING. HAHAHA. You should've seen her face when we were talking. She was really, really, really mesmerized with the idea that you could watch a movie using the net.

MYGAAAHD. I've just realized that I need to finish some stuff! The write-ups. The Parish project. The Porac thingy. The Ms. Calero stuff. The Pinoy short story (WTF. TAGALOG? It's so not my forte. :| I hope I don't make a crap out of that.) MYGAAAAHD. I am so not prepared to do any of those things. I just want to stare at my computer monitor all day and wait for a *claps* MIRACLE. *claps*

Fine. I think I need to start with the Porac thingy. I need to pass it to Pipi. WOOOOO.

I'll update again after an, what, hour? :))

SONG: Forever The Sickest Kids' She's A Lady.

I Know That I Can't Be Concerned, But You're Still In My Life.

I just finished fixing Gego's layout :D NYAHAHA. I dunno. I like her layout better than my new layout. Still. This is simpler and, er, bloodier.. So, K na din. HAHAHA.

Anyway, mygaaahd. I really appreciated it when Gego listened to me while I ranted away and bastardized all those shitty stuff. HAHAHA. I swear. :))

BTW, did I mention that today is Maeka's 16th? GAAAWD. You guys better greet her! :)) Well, since I'm doing it anyway, I might as well greet her a HAPPY 16TH HERE! ILY MARENG KEPIAS! :))

I'm happy right now and I don't even know why. I swear. I've been grinning like a demon child. HAHA.

Shit. I've to go. My mom's getting angry at me. Gaaawd.

SONG: Silverstein's My Heroine

There's NO Way I'm Playing THAT Game.

I am so happy today! I swear! Nothing's going on with my tuper-duper boring life -- so, it's really something when I say I'm happy. :D See? I told you Rina's BAAACK :D

I just realized that I have *claps* amazing friends, perfect classmates, and, um, suicidal SUBJECTS -- what more can I possibly ask for? My life's complete with all those twist and turns and traumas Trigo and Physics could give you. That's enough drama, right? :)) I don't need anything else. :) I'm, um, honest-to-goodness OKAY. I'm good. :)

And yeah, like what Lourdes said in her old post (Sorry. I can't remember when.. And, sorry I couldn't apply the MLA format. God, I suck. :| ) "When God closes a door, he opens several windows.." Or something like that. Still. You get my drift, right? So, I guess it's the same for me. He quietly closed a door to make me realize that it's not the only thing worth seeing. :) There are more windows out there that are waiting to be opened. CHEERS. :))

Gaaaaawd. I'm so happy I'm literally flipping! :D I couldn't say that my life is perfect at the moment since some things should still be smoothened and polished -- but, I could, well, say that even if I'm walking on a rough road right now -- I'm contented. I am. I'm all smiles now. :D Who cares if everbody thinks I'm retarded? Who effing cares?

See? I'm not even bitter. Told you I'm good. :)

CHEERS. :)

P. S. The only thing I'm worrying about right now is the distribution of cards tomorrow. I'm expecting Ms. Gino to tell me that my parents should get my card. UGH. I'm DOOMED. Physics. I so HATE YOU.

SONG: Sum 41's So Long Goodbye. I'm Sum 41-ish at the moment. Might sound weird but I adore this band even before the Deryck-Avril thingy.

We All Fall Down Sometimes.

I changed my layout -- AGAIN. I KNOOOOW. Super ADHD. But, I have to forget about some stuff. Besides, I feel like changing it from black to white :D What can you say? I told you I'm going back to the old-super-childish-Rina. I'm returning, right? :) I'm excited! I'm going to be FUN again! :)) YEY! YEY! YEY!

I haven't done my Physics and Rel HW. I can't understand the Rel HW so I might as well pass it on.. Tuesday? Or Wednesday? Any other day but Monday. I swear. At least I'm done with the Elective and the Theresian Mag stuff! YEY! YEY!

It feels weird, but I actually think it's ok to go to school tomorrow. :D SEE?! I'm really returning! HOMAAAAYGAAAD. YEY-UH! YEY-UH! I would dance the congo right now if I know how! I'm, um, elated. I don't know why :D Or maybe it's because I'm going to see my friends again tomorrow! YEY-UH! YEY-UH!!

The only glitch is that we have Eco tomorrow -- and, I'm actually scared to see Sir Zaraspe again :| I think he's still mad at me. :| Shoot. What am I going to doooo? It's all Pia's fault. :| HAHA. K. But, since it's her birthday today -- I might as well just forget about it. *sighs*

See you guys tomorrow :)

Ciao.

But If I Had To Say Goodbye To Leave This Hell, I'd Say My Time Has Served Me Well.

I'm going to go back to the veeeery old Rina -- super numb and naive. :) I swear. Things are a lot better to take when I'm that way. :D

Hmmm. What's there to talk about? OH YEAH. Tomorrow is Dorilie's 16th! YEY-UH! And on Nov. 13, it's Jodie's 16th! YEY! Double celebration! Wow, I've just realized that Jodie's the baby. HAHAHA. Oh well. She's a hell-lot more mature than me. Cheers!

I bought the book "The Host" since Gego said it was a nice book. I'm reading it and I'm telling you that it's complex. I thought it was just a toilet book. You could imagine my shock when I began to read it and wince at the complication of the story. Oh well.. Serves me right for judging a book by it's cover. HAHA.

See you tomorrow. I don't want to go to school -- but, I don't have a choice. I couldn't ruin my neat record of "No Absents" since First Year. SEE? I'm good. HAHA.

All's good. All's effing good. I think. :D

SONG: Still, STILL Sum 41's Over My Head.

Shut Up And Drive!

For once I'm not going to rave about anything -- I'm actually LAUGHING =)) Mons gave me her blog's URL. SUPER BENTA ng mga posts nya! =)) I SWEAR. There was this article where she described the setting of her, um, suicidal place =)) I was literally shaking and guffawing! =)) She made my day :) Honestly! SUPER PANALO! =)) I was LAUGHING like a possessed-demon, Yo had to stare at me. Si Gazeebs talaga, oo! =)) "Ohh ayan pa labas na kami, ibalik mo na sa MS WORD."

On the other hand, all I did today is to finish the compilation of the iii1-iv1 pictures. I miss my third year life :( It was a hell-lot better than this fucked-up 4th yr. experience. *sighs*

Oh well. I'm going to rest for a while then I'm off to finish some Theresian Mag responsibilities *sighs* I'm going to reread Mons' blog. It makes me forget everything :) I SWEAR BASAHIN NYO! You'll get me!

SONG: Sum 41's Over My Head :)