basically,(well, you know what i mean.. basically basic? ugh.. do you get me, ranger? anyway) today is one of the "i-want-to-kill-myself-already-oh-yeah-before-that-i-want-to-eat-ice-cream-first" days for me. i was so bored, so unstable! yes. that's the precise term i'm looking for -- unstable. i'm, with lord's grace, not only mentally unstable but i'm also emotionally and physically unstable. god. really. sometimes, i think that i'm bipolar :| one minute i'm very happy, try very happy like jumping on the sofa or laughing because i saw my brother get into trouble, you know -- that kind, the next minute, i'm crying and sobbing because of simple-retarded reasons like spilled milk. how's that? totally unnerving..
my summer is so unproductive so far. :| i'm supposed to start my review classes with jodie-luvz today but because of some unwanted miracle (i am so sarcastic. shit) they granted me enrichment classes! they're going to make me enter hell and suffer because of the stupid marks on my report card! i don't know why i suck in my academics. don't get me wrong, i'm trying so hard (.. or so i think.. well.. i do think that i'm trying!) you know what.. this is the final straw! fine! they want change?! i'm going to give them change! when i enter the iv1 classroom this coming june -- i am going to be serious in my studies. i am going to study 24/7! i am going to be the teacher's pet (not really, asshole!) i am going to study so hard nobody could tell the difference between einstein and me! from this moment on, mark my words, love, i am going to, um, ok, try to be a responsible and diligent and studious student!!
hmmmm. if i can't be a serious student, then i would never get serious in my life.. i need to set my goals and prioritize my future.. i mean, if my parents, you know, suddenly.. ok, let me rephrase that.. if god suddenly realized that he needs my parents up there in heaven.. what's going to happen to me down here on earth? did you get that..? okaaay. my explanation's kind of lame.. anyway.. just try to understand it.. i know you could. anyway, i need to think about my future. i mean, not only being johnny depp's wife (because, honestly.. for more than a year now.. that's my number 1 priority. haha. i know.. it's really.. stupid and.. ambitious! hell..) and you know, take care of his two children. but, i also want a successful career. you know.. just for once, i want to see my parents smile because i've actually done something right. i want them to say "oh rina.." in a nice way (not the usual, "oh rina!" with the deadly and furious eyes) because they'll realize that they didn't really waste a lot of money for me.. fine. seriously.. that's my dream -- just to see my parent shiny-smile-showing-their-teeth. jesus. if you know what kind of kid i am, you'll realize how hard it is to make my parents grin for the right reasons.. *sigh*
i need some boost, love. really. :|
song: sum 41's walking disaster. and oh yeah, the killers' when you were young :P
my summer is so unproductive so far. :| i'm supposed to start my review classes with jodie-luvz today but because of some unwanted miracle (i am so sarcastic. shit) they granted me enrichment classes! they're going to make me enter hell and suffer because of the stupid marks on my report card! i don't know why i suck in my academics. don't get me wrong, i'm trying so hard (.. or so i think.. well.. i do think that i'm trying!) you know what.. this is the final straw! fine! they want change?! i'm going to give them change! when i enter the iv1 classroom this coming june -- i am going to be serious in my studies. i am going to study 24/7! i am going to be the teacher's pet (not really, asshole!) i am going to study so hard nobody could tell the difference between einstein and me! from this moment on, mark my words, love, i am going to, um, ok, try to be a responsible and diligent and studious student!!
hmmmm. if i can't be a serious student, then i would never get serious in my life.. i need to set my goals and prioritize my future.. i mean, if my parents, you know, suddenly.. ok, let me rephrase that.. if god suddenly realized that he needs my parents up there in heaven.. what's going to happen to me down here on earth? did you get that..? okaaay. my explanation's kind of lame.. anyway.. just try to understand it.. i know you could. anyway, i need to think about my future. i mean, not only being johnny depp's wife (because, honestly.. for more than a year now.. that's my number 1 priority. haha. i know.. it's really.. stupid and.. ambitious! hell..) and you know, take care of his two children. but, i also want a successful career. you know.. just for once, i want to see my parents smile because i've actually done something right. i want them to say "oh rina.." in a nice way (not the usual, "oh rina!" with the deadly and furious eyes) because they'll realize that they didn't really waste a lot of money for me.. fine. seriously.. that's my dream -- just to see my parent shiny-smile-showing-their-teeth. jesus. if you know what kind of kid i am, you'll realize how hard it is to make my parents grin for the right reasons.. *sigh*
i need some boost, love. really. :|
song: sum 41's walking disaster. and oh yeah, the killers' when you were young :P
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