Define: ODESSA

This is a HELL harder than I thought. I thought it was just another descriptive thingy where you have to define a person and tell good stuff about her. Jesus. I just realized that this thing is WORK. It's draining the genius out of me. HAHAHA.

How could I describe Odessa Vidallon? UGH. Why did I even choooose heeeer? HAHAHA. Kidding. :)) I mean, I want it to be special since it's Odessa. The main problem is that I don't know how to start. I don't want to sound, um, patrionizing. But, I want to show Odessa in a GREAT and BRIGHT light. HAHAHA. God. I am so caught in between.

How could I tell everybody that she's one of the most optimistic people I know? How could I possibly explain and elaborate her vivacious attitude? How could I explain in just a couple of words how her sunny atmosphere makes everyone smile? Can you see my dilemma?

I'll get to this. SOON. Gaaaahd. I need something to boost my brain.

One Day You'll Get Sick Of Saying That Everything's Alright.

Gaaawd. I slept at around 4.10 then I woke up at 8. What's wrong with me?

Hmm. Let me see, it seems like everybody watched Twilight the movie already. I dunno. I'm not really thrilled, no offense. I mean, yeah sure, it's ok for me to watch it -- it's also ok if I didn't catch it. Get it? Actually, I'm looking forward to the movie "The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button." I first saw its trailer when I watched Max Payne. And honestly, TCCOBB is more interesting than Twilight (No offense..) I swear. It's also a plus that Brad Pitt's going to play Benjamin Button! :">

No classes tomorrow. Super cool. I can stay up late! I also have the prerogative to not sleep at all! YEY-UH!

7 hours ago, I watched "21". GOD. It was so fucking cool! Although, I don't really know what's going on with the cards-thingy since I don't play Black Jack. Still, you get my point, right? The story was awesome. I was literally gripped. COOLIO! :D Believe me, if you haven't watched it yet -- you're missing a quarter of your life. Seriously.

UGH. I'm so sleepy but I couldn't sleep. My eyes are flickering but I couldn't close them. Something's really, really, really wrong.

UGH. I think my writing's pretty crappy these days. I don't get it. I really don't. I must really be messed up because I don't like anything I write or blog these days.

SIGHS. You didn't just suck the happiness out of me -- You also drained MY capability to express myself. How am I supposed to get up now?

Maybe I overrated myself. It's high-time I realize that I'm not that important. God, I hoped I was, well, special. Then again, I'm just some piece of shit who got whirled inside your precious bubble, right? I might as well stop -- I would. I SHOULD.

Every Minute With Her Was Full Of Pain. But, Every Minute Without Her Was Even Worse.

"Kailangan mong bumalik sa sarili mo."
-Lourdes Sabellina

I agree -- kasi, LINTEK, hindi ko na alam ang ginagawa ko sa sarili ko ehh. Too much drama's causing me trauma. YEY-UH! That rhymes! :))

Anyway, another date with Lourdes on Tuesday! YEY!

Today's not really a bad day. Although I'm very disappointed because I didn't get to hang out with Jodie, Odessa, and Eryel. UGH. Boooohooooo.

New layout -- AGAIN. I got tired of the brown-layout thingy. UGH.

Gaaad. I need Gego's password so I could change her layout already! :))

I've noticed that I'm very random. :| Hmm. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Jesus. Maybe I'm very bangag na. I need to catch some Z's.

G'night :)

SONG: Paramore's Brighter :)

If You Run Away Now, Will You Come Back Around?

Dear God,

I'm very very very confused and I don't know what to do. All I'm asking now is that you help me in every decision I make. Help me make the right decisions -- the ones I wouldn't mourn about. Please? You know I hate crying and all those drama. But, what's going on? I've been crying for ages -- my eyes hurt. Seriously.

I'm not just mentally drained -- I'm emotionally drained too. I feel numb and I act numb, even my friends say that it's as if I'm not even with them -- I don't talk anymore, I don't smile anymore.

You know I tried everything I could. Then again, you have those twisted plans that I could only comprehend when I'm in my proper state.

I'm not a fucking stop-over. I'm a destination. It hurts like hell. Seriously.

Anyway, help me, please? I'm begging.

AMEN.

I'm LONG-ing :))

Ok. Call me "fickle" or anything.. BUT GOOOD. I'm IN LOOOOVE all over again! Guess who's the lucky guy..?

MATT LONG!

Gaaaawd. It's as if an angel came down from Heaven! :">

So, OKAAAAY. He's not my usual type of guy. He's only 20-something. And, well, he's not old and father-figure-y. Right? Ok, this is an improvement. :D I'm human after all! HOORAY!

Well, this is just a fling -- I could feel it. There's not enough spark. :)) But, for the mean time, since it is here.. I might as well enjoy the moment and stare at Matt Long.. And try hard not to salivate on my shirt. :"> HAHAHA.

I am SO over Billy. I swear. It took me only, um, a day to realize that! I decided that he's not worth it since he chose Linzi over moi. I was hurt. And he did that deliberately. Hmpf. Bitter much? :))

Kidding. Ok. Matt. Don't worry -- it's your turn. I'm going to focus on you, K? There's no need to fret. Just give me all your attention and love and I would be the most, um, loyal WIFE ever. HAHAHA =)) That cracked me up :))

Don't worry nga Matty. I'll stay loyal to you. For a while. HAHA :)) ANO BA MAAATT. Wag ka na masyadong demanding, OK?


So, pick me up at 8? See ya, Matt! :)) I'll wear the sexy thong you bought me. HAHAHAHA =))


Yuck. Ang landi :)) It's just anoter weird Rina-Fantasy. :D

Besides, mabilis din tong mawawala. Believe me. :)

Either Way, You'll Break My Heart Someday

"Bakit ba baliktad ang mundo. Kapag nasisiyahan hindi pwedeng forever. Dadating at dadating din ang panahon na magshishift ka ng mood at magiging badtrip ka pa. Kadalasan pang nangyayari na mas mahirap tanggalin ang pagkabadmood kesa sa pagkamasaya."

-Monece Francisco

I agree. That's what's so ironic. How can you not stay happy for a loooooong time? I don't see any reason why euphoria has to end. One minute you're tuper duper happy, ecstasy to the nth level -- then, the next moment *POOF* stupid problems come. Then what? You grovel underneath because you couldn't take the pressure and you couldn't face defeat. You give up.

Okaaaaay. I know I'm talking about myself :)) Still. I don't know how to change that attitude of mine. I don't know how to look at half-full bottles or glasses. I don't know how to look at the cloud's silver lining.

I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't blame myself wholy for this. I mean, I was brought up without, you know, any kind of BIG problems -- most of the time, no problems at all. (Well, okaaay. My main problem is that I always fight with my parents.. Er. Is that unusual? NO. See?) So, when something new comes up -- I don't know what to do. I just stare at it and weigh everything in my head. If I feel I could do it, fine, I stay happy. But, if I think I couldn't -- I just give up.

My mom said that it's a pathetic thing to throw my life away. My father even said that because he always gives in to me -- I'm spoilt and very ready to give up and, um, IGNORANT. K. That's insulting. I'm not that ignorant.. Am I? I mean, I could cross the road ALONE now! SEE? That's an improvement, right? Well, anyway, that's not the main point -- the thing is, they told me that I could do it. I should just keep myself motivated.

BECAUSE -- IF I DON'T DO IT -- BAH. No more FUN days for me. I swear. They hinted that. It's as if they're looking at my eyes and telling me, "Read between the lines, Rina. READ."

SO. You don't have to wonder why I'm sulky these days. I'm grounded FOR LIFE. :| ... Plus, CB's a bitch. HAHAHAHAHA. K. Nasingit ko padin yon. UGH. I swear, sometimes I get moodier when I see her. It's as if some Cancer-Giving god came down and granted her that absurd look. Pathetic.

Ok, that's LOW. Even for my own standard. :)) HAHAHAHA. HECK. It's NOT my fault she looks like and she's like some filthy bug -- ask her. SUICIDE. UGH. She knows I'm mad at her -- then, why can't she just stop? Is she really trying to piss me off? :| She bloody knows. She fucking knows.

I should shut up now. I'm getting furious.

Cheers. :)

SONG: Bowling For Soup's Captain Hook.

One More Chance. =))

This is WEIRD. I think my old feelings for my bitter ex (HAHAHA) is returning. :|

HOMAYGAD.




Should I still accept you WILLIAM DEAN MARTIN..? After all that we've been through. I mean, honey, I realized that you're too young for me. I want some action. I want someone more mature. And, sadly, you're young.. You're inexperienced (I THINK..? NOT. HAHAHA.) .. Yet -- you're HOTT. Shit :)) What's going on with me?

Seriously. I think I'm having an itsy-bitsy crush on him again. Oh for the love of God.. *sighs*




Sadly, He's MARRIED. Ok, I think I'm destined to be a HOMEWRECKER. Still, at least what I'm "wrecking" are fantasies and ILLUSIONS -- NOT REAL STUFF. Like the one someone's doing to me and my 10-month-old love (Figure that out. HAHA.) ER. Nauna ako. So, HINDI PWEDE talaga. AKIN LANG. AKIN LANG. Find some other person to whore over -- SHE'S MINE. K?

Akala mo naman kung ano, no? :))

Fine Billy. I'm going to give you another chance. Ok? Don't ruin this moment. This is your LAST chance. =))

I'm Screaming "I Love You So." -- My Thoughts You Can't Decode.

*Sighs*

The simple things in life make my heart swell with -- JOY. :)

SUPER. :)

So, i had a date with Lourdes yesterday at Tapa King. GAAAAWD. SUPER FUN! Ansaya saya nya talaga kasama at kausap! Sobrang comfortable ako magkwento lang ng magkwento ng magkwento ng magkwento sa kanya! SWEAR. Hmm.. Tas wala kaming ginawang dalawa kundi tumawa ng tumawa ng tumawa :)) ANO BAAA. Natatawa kaya ako sa kanya! :))

Anyway, I super LOOOOVE Lourdes! We should have another date! Nakakabitin yung kahapon! :| HAHAHA :))

I'm seated at the front part again. Boofuckinghoo. How can I eat during classes? :| HAHAHA. JOKE. Fine. I'm going to maximize the benefits in my seat. Whatever it is. Everythiiiiing. Every fuuuucking thing. :) K? Shoot. Labo ko na naman.

*****

Something different:

I played Volleyball-Strip with some other iv1 kids in the lawn. SUPER FUN. Kahit unfair dahil ako lang yung nagstrip! :| ANDAYA NILA. Super plinano nila na sakin itapon yung bola para daw hindi ko masalo o ano!

I think it was Lia's idea to strip whenever you miss the ball. I swear. Tas she said, "Nako! Dapat pataas yung paghuhubad.. *silence* AYYY! Wag pala! Kasi after ng rubbershoes, jogging pants na yung kasunod!" SUPER FUNNY! HAHAHAHAHA =))

Anyway, I joined the game kasi nga mayabang akoooo. I thought I was invincible.. I thought that I could hit the ball whenever it was aimed at me (which is MOST of the time. HAHA.).. *SIGHS* In the end, ako yung naka-sando nalang. Tas when I missed the ball -- again at pinapatanggal na saken yung sando ko, sabe ko kay Sienna, "Tara na Sienna. Tutor na tayo." HAHAHAHA. Kasiii naman. May lalaki kaya! Ayoko naman na naka-bra lang ako sa lawn tas andon yung lalaki! =))

I have this theory na kapag ganyan ang rules sa paglalaro ng Volleyball -- lahat ng Theresians magiging magaling sa volleyball.. Paghuhubarin ka ba naman kapag hindi mo natira yung bola. DIBA? =))

Naks. Tumatagalog na ko :))

SONG: Paramore's Decode.

Some State Of Normalcy.

NOT.

I'm freaking out AGAIN. I've been freaking out a LOT these past few, um, months. I know everybody's getting sick of it. Then again. What am I supposed to do? I'm just being honest.

AHHHH. Shit. What's wrong with ME?

*****

Date tomorrow with Lourdes :) HAHA. I'm EXCITED!

SONG: DCFC's Cath

It's All Up To You Now.

I'm giving you all of my trust. I swear.

*****

Tapa King yesterday with ii1. GAAAAWD. I miss those guys :)) Like. REALLY. We saw Jolo Revilla. TSSS. Too bad Joan and I didn't get a chance to have a picture taken with our IDOL. *rolls eyes* HAHAHAHA.

*****

No classes TODAY. Duhh. Obviously. PAASCU days were -- stupid. I swear. I freaked out and I prepared and then, what, we were only observed ONCE. Hmpf. Ohwell :)) So, we're kinda lucky, I guess. :D

Ohwell. I'll update again. Later :)) My mom's egging me to eat lunch. UGH.

SONG: The Good Kind by The Wreckers

From Beyiia My Loooove :)

Got this one from Beyiia :)) I'm doing this for her. :))

Once accepting this award, the rules as follows:

• Put the logo on your blog.
• Add a link to the person who awarded you.
• Nominate 10 other blogs.
• Leave a message for your nominees on their blogs.

Weeell. Since I don't believe in rules, I'm only going to nominate 8 people :))

• Jodie Tanedo
• Eryel Villanueva
• Chezca Bajandi
  
• Beyiia Santos (Yes. Love kita ehh.)
• Pauiie Nagpala
• Lourdes Sabellina
• Genine Go

and lastly:

• MONECE FRANCISCO

HAHAHA :)) Ohwell. Why not? Who told you that RULES should, um, rule your life? NAH-UH. It's meant for breaking. HAHAHAHA :))

You Won't Get Me Anyway.

You know, I've realized that it's more melodramatic if it's in English. I'm going to try Tagalog. :))

Ampanget ng feeling. I swear. Hindi ko na alam yung gagawin ko. Alam ko inis na inis na sila Jodie, Eryel, at Sienna sa kakaulit ulit ng sinasabe ko. Pero WTF, kung hindi naman kasi ako magsasalita feeling ko sasabog nalang ako bigla.

I'm so sick of pretending that everything's FINE, everything's OK, when really -- it's NOT. And, frankly, I don't think that it will ever be OK. So, I guess Eryel's right -- I just have to face it because, well, it's life. It's either I face this or I lose entirely -- without even fighting. Haha.

So, anyway, Eryel, we'll get by. Yuuuh. Maybe not SOON -- but, EVENTUALLY.

*Naks. At least I have a paragraph consisting of Tagalog words only. :>

SONG: Simple Plan's Addicted. *SIGHS* Those were the days. :))

Maybe Not Now -- But, What Will Happen Later?

I said I'm going to return to the old-Rina. But, how come I can't just go forward? Everytime I take a step forward, I'd look back and then I would take two steps backward. UGH. Dysphoria's at its peak again. I hate it. I don't want it. :| Clearly, this is just a feeble attempt to make myself smile. And honestly, it's pathetic.

Honestly, sometimes I HATE weekends. I hate it because when there's nothing to do (which is 1% of the time.. HAHAHA. God. What's wrong with me?) I get to sit down and think about all of my imperfections and, um, everything BAD. See? Hmmm, 14 years ago, that was never my set-up. I love weekends because I get to do whatever I want. Like mall-hop, blog-hop.. Whatever. Nowadays, all I want to do is stay in bed and.. contemplate. SEE? SOMETHING'S REALLY WRONG WITH ME. UGH.

I swear I'm not stopping. I'm not. If I have to look for a mermaid to make me go back to my old self -- I would do it. If I have to sweep the floors in STC to make myself happy again -- I would do itl. If I have to stop blogging -- Ahhh.. Ibang usapan na yan. :)) Still. You get me, right? I really mean it when I said I'm going back. I just have to set my mind on things. I have to. :D

Or maybe something's NOT wrong with me.. Maybe something's wrong with CB.. And, frankly, it makes me want to really kill her. Like REALLY. I'm never the type of kid who holds grudges -- but this time, it's different. Heck, SHE makes me miserable. Seriously. She makes me SAD. (The bad part is that: we don't even know each other. Hmpf.) And, she should congratulate herself for being the first person in the universe to make me feel this way. Cheers.

Ok. Forget I said anything and pretend that I'm a happy pancake. Keep smiling, gaddamnit. :D :D :D TRIPLE GRINS IN A ROW!! YEY-UH!!

All's GOOD. I'm GOOD.

But Do You Know That When You Go I Fall Apart?

Yep. I changed my layout -- AGAIN. For the, um, 8th time this month? HAHA. I realized that my previous layout has a very tiny screen. UGH. But, I do love that layout -- when I get bored with this one and I couldn't find something ok, I would return that layout. :D

Cheers.

This one's like my other layouts. No clicks. Just a simple "GIVE IT ALL" layout. I couldn't find anything else. But, if I do find something else -- Imma change it again. HAHAHA.

I'm sorry if my constant layout-changing's annoying you. I just need this to distract myself from some stuff. K? Sorry.

SONG: I'm country-ish right now :)) The Wreckers' The Good Kind. Oh my god. I so love Michelle Branch :">

I Can't Just Walk Away.

So, yesterday Jodie, Ampy, Eryel, Sienna and I went to Dencio's. There were LOTS of people in Yellow Cab so I said, "Dencio's nalang." Wala ehh. Mayabang kame =)) No, honestly, we used Ampy's credit card -- again.

The first time we used it, we ate at Yellow Cab -- Ampy, Odessa, Eryel, and I. That was before Jodie's 16th and after Dorilie's 16th.. So, yesterday we ate at Dencio's to, um, celebrate the post-Jodie's-16th thingy. Too bad Dorilie and the others weren't there. :| Spur of the moment kasi. I swear. Sobrang, "Oh, san na tayo? Dencio's nalang? Dencio's na nga lang!"

Don't worry. We divided everything and we're going to pay Ampy as soon as we get our money. HAHA.

There was this funny thing when, I think it was Eryel who said, "Tinanong mo ba kung tinatanggap yung credit card mo?" OHMYGOOOD. :)) LAHAT KAME NATIGILAN. =)) As in, napatingin lahat kami kay Ampy. Then, we asked the lady if they accept BDO cards -- it's a good thing she said "Yes" kasi kinukundisyon ko na yung sarili ko na maghugas ng mga plato. =))

After Dencio's, Eryel, Sienna, and I went to McDo Banawe :)) Nang unang nagpunta kame don para maghanap ng mauutangan, andon na sila Mareng Metch at Sosa -- pagbalik namen, andon padin sila :)) HAHA. Medyo malaki ang utang na loob ko kay Mareng Metch dahil tinulungan nya akong mangutang sa kaibigan ng kapatid nya na Freshie. :)) Don't fret -- iniwan ko naman yung I.D. ko para proof na babayaran ko yung bata. =))

*****

I think I'm doing fine. :| I don't want to mess up. I'm ok, right? I'm doing fine then something came up -- again. *sighs*

I need Jodie's boat.. I hope to sail away with her. :|

*****

Oh yeah. Something to be happy about: JODIE RETURNED IPE TO MEEEEE! Cheers!! I so missed my iPod. :"> Pero, I love Jodie more kaya ok lang na hindi ko muna nakasama si Ipe ng two days. :)

SONG: The Wreckers' Leave The Pieces

The Baby's SIXTEEN!

Baby, Baby :))

Honestly, I never imagined that we would be close. I thought that you would just be another schoolmate or another classmate. Then again, who knew?

You stayed by me when I was grumpy and annoying. You never left my side when I was down. You were always ALWAYS there to make me smile. So, I guess this greeting is not enough to tell you how much you mean to me.

HAPPY SIXTEENTH, JODIE!

Of course I'll miss you if you leave me. Of course I'll be sad when we no longer see each other 24/7. Duuuh. You're my significant other. :) Wag ka na nga maghanap ng ibang tao dahil andito naman ako ehh. Ok? HAHAHA. Pero seriously, hindi na naten kelangan ng iba, ok? I swear. :) Ganito kasi yung analogy ko, kung si Homer Simpson may Marge Simpson, AKO may Jodie Tanedo. :)) SERYOSO KAYAAA.

So, anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, love. We're ALL OLD NOW :))

I LOVE YOU JODIE :)

And So The Story Goes..

It's 12.27 in the morning and I'm still NOT done with the HW. I don't know what to do with the Researcg thingy. UGH. And I don't know my effing tribe. "What tribe did you come from?" Gaaahd. Am I supposed to have my family background researched thoroughly? What if I came from a long line of assassins? HAHA. Who would know the difference anyway?

I haven't checked Mons blog -- yet. ANO BAAAA. Super popular na ng blog ni Mons! I SWEAR. Yung mga tao nagpupunta lang sa blog ko dahil may link ako ni Mons. =)) K. USER! JOOOOKE. :)) Pero, I super swear, it's worth it -- super panalo talaga! Actually, these past few days -- she made me smile. A LOT. It's hilarious, the way she says things as it is. Her direct-to-the-point opinions. No hesitations -- just bluntness. :) I think it's a change from the stuff I'm used to. :) It's a GOOD change.

I'm in the brink of hysteria. There's so many things to do and I don't know how to finish everything. I told you I'm being a responsible child -- and, I'm doing it. I think? I mean, so far, I'm not really late in any of the major requirements. Plus, I put effort in all the things I do. I PROMISE.

Dorilie just turned 16 yesterday. ILLLLY DORILIE! YEY-UH! She couldn't call me "OLD" now! But then she said, "Pero, malapit ka na mag-seventeen." SWEET MUCH? *rolls eyes* HAHAHA. Yeeeah. I know. And, I'm planning to make my 17th birthday memorable. :) Well, okay, since it's also my Graduation Day (Jesus Christ. I HOPE I graduate.) I'm planning to treat my friends to Baguio! (My recess-mates and lunch-mates, most probably.) YEY-UH! K, naadik naman ako sa Baguio =)) I swear, when we were in Baguio, what, last, last week, I told my mom that I want to treat my friends to Baguio for my Seventeenth Birthday. She said, "Here? What would you do here?" I shrugged, "There's a mall naman in case we get bored." Then she said, "*laughs* Ok. Sure."

SO. SO. If I GRADUATE -- WE'RE OFF TO BAGUIO.. On the 26th, most probably, since Graduation Day's on the 25th. :D :D YAY! I'm EXCITED! It's something to look forward to! Well, unless my father says "NO." Which I HOPE won't HAPPEN. I mean, my mom agreed ALREADY! Besides, it's my birthday!

*SIGHS*

I hope Dorilie, Jodie, Chezca, Eryel, Odessa, Ampy, and Rachel would be allowed to go. I want us to be complete -- for once. :)

HAHAHA. OMG. I'm planning my 17th birthday already when I don't even know if I would graduate or not. Jesus. I WISH I would graduate. I WISH I WOULD.

Two more sleeps and it's Jodie's turn to get old. :) ILY JODIE!

There's NO Way I'm Playing THAT Game.

I am so happy today! I swear! Nothing's going on with my tuper-duper boring life -- so, it's really something when I say I'm happy. :D See? I told you Rina's BAAACK :D

I just realized that I have *claps* amazing friends, perfect classmates, and, um, suicidal SUBJECTS -- what more can I possibly ask for? My life's complete with all those twist and turns and traumas Trigo and Physics could give you. That's enough drama, right? :)) I don't need anything else. :) I'm, um, honest-to-goodness OKAY. I'm good. :)

And yeah, like what Lourdes said in her old post (Sorry. I can't remember when.. And, sorry I couldn't apply the MLA format. God, I suck. :| ) "When God closes a door, he opens several windows.." Or something like that. Still. You get my drift, right? So, I guess it's the same for me. He quietly closed a door to make me realize that it's not the only thing worth seeing. :) There are more windows out there that are waiting to be opened. CHEERS. :))

Gaaaaawd. I'm so happy I'm literally flipping! :D I couldn't say that my life is perfect at the moment since some things should still be smoothened and polished -- but, I could, well, say that even if I'm walking on a rough road right now -- I'm contented. I am. I'm all smiles now. :D Who cares if everbody thinks I'm retarded? Who effing cares?

See? I'm not even bitter. Told you I'm good. :)

CHEERS. :)

P. S. The only thing I'm worrying about right now is the distribution of cards tomorrow. I'm expecting Ms. Gino to tell me that my parents should get my card. UGH. I'm DOOMED. Physics. I so HATE YOU.

SONG: Sum 41's So Long Goodbye. I'm Sum 41-ish at the moment. Might sound weird but I adore this band even before the Deryck-Avril thingy.

OLA! LOLA! =))

So, AYAN, 16 ka na din! Hindi mo na ako pwedeng asarin na matanda dahil magkasing-age na tayo :> :>

Anyway, dude, thanks :) Thanks kasi, ewan, minsan parang mas tama yung decisions mo para saken kesa yung mga nagagawa ko para saken. Gets ba? Basta. Kaso nga lang ang tigas ng ulo ko, diba? So, yun padin gusto ko yung sinusunod ko tas pag sobrang palpak -- ayon, sobra sobrang pagsisisi yung ginagawa ko. Pero kahit andami kong kapalpakan.. Hindi mo padin ako iniiwan. I dunno. I think it's touching. I mean, ilang beses ka na bang napagalitan at napahamak dahil saken? :)) HAHA.

DORILIIIIIIE. Happy 16th birthday!

Sorry kung ang inconsiderate ko minsan. Tas, HOY, hindi kaya ako nagtataksil sayo. Ikaw nga yung harap-harapan mag-taksil ehh! HMPF. HAHA. Pero dahil birthday mo ngayon, feel free to do whatever you want. HAHAHAHA.

I love you Dorilie :) Thaaaanks. Happy Birthday ulet. :)

We All Fall Down Sometimes.

I changed my layout -- AGAIN. I KNOOOOW. Super ADHD. But, I have to forget about some stuff. Besides, I feel like changing it from black to white :D What can you say? I told you I'm going back to the old-super-childish-Rina. I'm returning, right? :) I'm excited! I'm going to be FUN again! :)) YEY! YEY! YEY!

I haven't done my Physics and Rel HW. I can't understand the Rel HW so I might as well pass it on.. Tuesday? Or Wednesday? Any other day but Monday. I swear. At least I'm done with the Elective and the Theresian Mag stuff! YEY! YEY!

It feels weird, but I actually think it's ok to go to school tomorrow. :D SEE?! I'm really returning! HOMAAAAYGAAAD. YEY-UH! YEY-UH! I would dance the congo right now if I know how! I'm, um, elated. I don't know why :D Or maybe it's because I'm going to see my friends again tomorrow! YEY-UH! YEY-UH!!

The only glitch is that we have Eco tomorrow -- and, I'm actually scared to see Sir Zaraspe again :| I think he's still mad at me. :| Shoot. What am I going to doooo? It's all Pia's fault. :| HAHA. K. But, since it's her birthday today -- I might as well just forget about it. *sighs*

See you guys tomorrow :)

Ciao.

But If I Had To Say Goodbye To Leave This Hell, I'd Say My Time Has Served Me Well.

I'm going to go back to the veeeery old Rina -- super numb and naive. :) I swear. Things are a lot better to take when I'm that way. :D

Hmmm. What's there to talk about? OH YEAH. Tomorrow is Dorilie's 16th! YEY-UH! And on Nov. 13, it's Jodie's 16th! YEY! Double celebration! Wow, I've just realized that Jodie's the baby. HAHAHA. Oh well. She's a hell-lot more mature than me. Cheers!

I bought the book "The Host" since Gego said it was a nice book. I'm reading it and I'm telling you that it's complex. I thought it was just a toilet book. You could imagine my shock when I began to read it and wince at the complication of the story. Oh well.. Serves me right for judging a book by it's cover. HAHA.

See you tomorrow. I don't want to go to school -- but, I don't have a choice. I couldn't ruin my neat record of "No Absents" since First Year. SEE? I'm good. HAHA.

All's good. All's effing good. I think. :D

SONG: Still, STILL Sum 41's Over My Head.

Shut Up And Drive!

For once I'm not going to rave about anything -- I'm actually LAUGHING =)) Mons gave me her blog's URL. SUPER BENTA ng mga posts nya! =)) I SWEAR. There was this article where she described the setting of her, um, suicidal place =)) I was literally shaking and guffawing! =)) She made my day :) Honestly! SUPER PANALO! =)) I was LAUGHING like a possessed-demon, Yo had to stare at me. Si Gazeebs talaga, oo! =)) "Ohh ayan pa labas na kami, ibalik mo na sa MS WORD."

On the other hand, all I did today is to finish the compilation of the iii1-iv1 pictures. I miss my third year life :( It was a hell-lot better than this fucked-up 4th yr. experience. *sighs*

Oh well. I'm going to rest for a while then I'm off to finish some Theresian Mag responsibilities *sighs* I'm going to reread Mons' blog. It makes me forget everything :) I SWEAR BASAHIN NYO! You'll get me!

SONG: Sum 41's Over My Head :)

This Hypocrisy Is Beginning To Get To Me.

.. Or maybe it's just plain karma?

UGH. I ought to be a good girl :( Sadness is becoming my middle name and I honestly, honestly, honestly hate it. So much for the 100 or so comments like "Rina, buti ka pa! Parang ang saya saya mo palagi!", "Rina! Nakakainggit ka! Para kang walang problema." Delusional retards :)) That made me laugh :)) Akala nyo lang yon. Kasi, WEEELL, magaling ako mag-tago :)

But, seriously, these past few months -- it seems like I've morphed or something. SUPER EEEW. My emotional stability is, I dunno, super UNSTABLE. I've been experiencing dysphoric feelings just because. UGH. Screw you, screw you -- fucking screw you. Me. Whatever.

Oh well. It's really just karma :) I can feel it. So, to solve this problem -- I'm going to be a good girl. I'm going to try not to be mean to Yo and, er, E. :)) If I have to kiss CB's ass -- so be it. NOT. That's going to far. That Freakshit-Bitch deserves NONE of my, um, kindness and.. Mercy? =)) FUNNY. =)) HAHAHA. No. But, I promise -- I'm not going to, um, be mean. Anymore.

I'm not giving up. I'm just going to try less. K =)) It's almost the same thing.. Oh well. Whatever.

"Who said it was easy to put back all of these pieces?"
-Sum 41.

.. Who said it was easy to try SO hard? I don't need pity -- that's for sissy's (Is an apostrohe necessary..? Jesus) All I need is some patience.

Figure that out :)

Life's bound to get better. HOPEFULLY.

Ciao.

SONG: Sum 41's Over My Head :)

It's Not About The Drama.

I was taking a bath, what, 30 minutes ago and I've realized that I'm starting not to care. REALLY. Wow. That's NEW. Anyway, I am SERIOUS. I was washing my hair when, I dunno, something snapped -- then I thought that it's not really worth it.. You know.. All the worrying and all those nervousness you're giving me. HAHAHA :))

Actually, I'm sort of still, um, worrying. I mean, you're still my friend. Whatever happens -- you will always always be my friend. K? It's just that it seems like for a very very very very long time, I'm the one making all the effort. I'm the one trying hard to reach you or just, I dunno, talk to you. And, honestly, I don't really think it's fair. :D

It's too early to talk or say I'm 100% fine, that I'm A-OK.. But, as of this moment -- I'm not even giving the 84% a shot -- it's more of a 57%.. Or a 53..?

After all that we've been through, make me feel like I'm still your friend. That somehow, you still think I'm important. K? Make some effort. Make me feel loved. :| 'Cause I've been super honest how important you are to me. K?

Figure that out.

Ciao :)

School Tomorrow. Are You Up To It?

YEY! For the first time in my Senior Life -- I'm going to pass a project.. ON TIME! YEY ME! YEY ME!

It's the stupid Pinoy Project. Seriously, I had a VERY hard time completing it because you have to speak in straight and complete Tagalog. My paragraphs made me wince because I know it's barok. :( I have to harness my skills. I swear.

HAHA! I'm going to share my project! Copyright Rina :D Some of it anyway. :> God. Talk about PROUD. :D

Here, this is what I wrote in the Pokus Area:

Matingkad na naipakita sa palabas na ito ang pagkagusto ni Ibarra na magkaroon ng

kaginhawahan sa buhay ng mga kapwa Pilipino nya sa isang maganda at mahusay

na paraan na kung saan ay wala siyang tinatapakan at inaalipusta. Ipinapakita dito

ang pagka-ayaw nya sa korapsyon at ang pagiging ideyalista nya.

Ipinakita din dito ang pagkahumaling naman ng mga iba nyang kababayan sa

korapsyon. Walang kaso sa kanila kung may matapakan sila at maapi basta

matiwasay ang buhay nila. Isa na dito si Salvi. Wala sa kanya na magaganda ang

hangarin ni Ibarra. Basta nakaharang sya sa daan nya kaya unti-unti nyang sinira si

Ibarra.

Isa pang matingkad na pokus na naipakita ay ang pagbabago ng mga pananaw sa

buhay ni Ibarra nang siya parang natalo. Bale wala na sakanya kung may masaktan

sya o maapi. Basta kinakailangan na makuha nya si Clarissa. May mga namatay

dahil sa kanya pero hindi man lang sya halos nakonsensya. Nawala na ang dignidad

nya. Nabalot na sya ng poot at paghihimagsik nalang ang nasa isip nya.

It's understandable.. I think? PLEASE TELL ME YOU COULD UNDERSTAND IT! I spent THREE HOURS staring at my monitor and another TWO HOURS to make this paper!

K. Ok. I printed it already so there's NO way I'm going to retype or redo anything. I'll submit it even if it's barok. Hell, I tried my best!

SONG: Zac's Bet On It. This is for the play in Music. I PROMISE.

This And That.

I've waited my whole life for this. Then, what, you're going to appear and stomple everything. I may be a freakshit who talks about stupid things or raves about stuff -- but I also have dreams. No matter how idiotic or juvenile those dreams are -- they are still there.

So, what are you going to do?

I was cheerful and contented before -- you're making me dysphoric now.

I was carefree before -- you're making me mature now.

Maybe I expected a little too much. Maybe I expected a lot. What can you say, I have dreams. (HAH! The sarcasm still flows in my veins.) I don't know what you're doing but I'm never going to tell you what or what not to do. I may care a lot (Heck. Those are 101%!), but it's your life. Live it the way you want it. I may constantly remind you of stuff or other things -- but, I promise I'm not going to nag.

I dedicated a bunch of stuff to you. What, you didn't even regard it with interest. It's always just me, huh?

I hoped you cared. I effing wished you tried. It wouldn't hurt you if you actually vied for it. Would it kill you if you actually made an effort..?

Maybe I was -- am just a delusional shit.

P.S. Since you're always a tad greater than me, I might as well just evaporate. K?

K, Bye.

How Bored Can One Person Get?

.. SUPER BORED.

That's it. I haven't done any HW's yet. I'm not in the mood and I don't think that I would be in the mood.

I'm feeling DOWN. Honestly. I have no idea why. Maybe it's because of the resumption of classes on Monday. :| After what happened today, I am so not in the mood to go to school. I'd rather see my grandmother dance naked in front of me. Seriously.

I know I should listen to my friends and all -- but, what's with my super hard-head that I couldn't just, you know, stop and, yeah, listen? Maybe Eryel's 84% is right after all. Maybe 101% is a bit too much. Right? HAH. I knew it. I knew I should've listened to Eryel. Fine. I'm going to do the 84% from now on :D If things are not as bad as it is right now -- maybe I could do a 90. Why not?

My last posts are.. I dunno. Mature? I reread my super old posts and, I dunno, they're full of jolly and i-don't-give-a-damn-on-what's-going-on-around-me stuff. Then, I reread SOME of my new posts and I cringed. They're, well, SERIOUS. I swear! I don't even know if I inserted some "fun" in those stuff.

BAH!

I told you I'm becoming BORING. :| Help me get back. I SWEAR. Help me GET BACK.

MUST REMEMBER THE 84%! MUST!

.. Or else I'm DOOMED. REALLY DOOMED.

I must keep it in MIND. I really SHOULD.

SONG: Guess what? It's written all over my blog! =))

In Front Of Your Eyes It Falls From The Skies.

I multiply-hopped. I flooded Eryel's albums :)) Well. MOST of it. :)) I decided to flood since most of the albums are full of my pictures anyway :)) HAHAHAHA.

Pacute. HARDCORE :))




Guess who's calling :))




Yes. I'm so not vain. I'm telling yooou.

I am so noooot vain. It was their idea anyway. HAHAHA. Jesus Chriiiist. I miss school. BADLY. Two reasons. Two reasons only. And, since it's November 1, I'm going to give you one of the reasons:


Yep. I miss you guys. (And Dorilie and the rest.) When I need some brightening up and kalabuan, I could easily turn to Jodie and emote. When I need some one-of-a-kind-sarcastic-straight-to-the-point opinion, I could glance at Eryel. and have it. It was too bad we didn't go out last Thursday :| I'm super sorry. I was looking forward to hanging out with you people. :| Tayong tatlo na naman. SANA. *SIGHS*

See you on the 3rd :)

SONG: Sum 41's With Me nga :))

I Don't Want This Moment To Ever End -- Where Everything's Nothing Without You.

YEY! First post for November! Clap, clap, clap!

I swear I'm going to make this November memorable and worth it. Whatever it takes.

UGH. Talk about bad luck. I couldn't download GG's S2E8! UGH. They (PEOPLE. Pipi. Eryel. Mons.) were telling me to watch it already because it's ok and it made Season 2 worth watching. Heck.. I couldn't download it NOW. I have no fucking idea why.

*SIGHS*

I am so bored. I am still sleepy. I don't even know why I got up at around 6.40 this morning :|

BTW, What can you say about my neeeew layout? It's pretty simple, right? But, I think it's ok. What can you say?

SONG: Sum 41's With Me :) Super looooove. Listen to it. You'll get me.