Lies. Lies. Lies.

It's funny how you sit straight at night & wait patiently for something to happen.. Then what? Nothing. You realize that you should've just slept & cursed all your worries away. You cling to that hope because, yeah, it's kind of lonely to be alone with no one to talk to & nobody to laugh with. Then there's this weird slap on your face showing you that you're pathetic & you would go nowhere. Somehow, you would manage to stay numb & act like nothing happened -- when, apparently, you're broken deep deep down. You'll pretend that nothing's bothering you when all you want to do is scream because everything's fucked up. I get you. I mean, what's the point, right? They'll just tell you that it's ok.. These stuff happen.. Yidi yada blah blah blah.. But, that's NOT the thing you want to hear.

I've worked hard to make everything work. God knows how much effort I've put in that stupid situation. Somehow, it's not enough. I'm getting sick of all my mood swings & anxieties. Nothing I do will ever be enough. I'm just this loud & stupid pancake who pretends that everything is A-OK. But, how about YOU? Are you ever going to do something? Or will you just stare at the ceiling all day, counting those spider dusts & being annoyingly numb? I don't know where I stand with you, ok?

It's too early in the morning to be feeling this.. Then again, it's too late to be elaborating this.