And The Alarm Goes *Ding Ding Ding!*

I spent the whole day in TriNoma today. Alone. I was supposed to meet up with my Oral Comm. groupmates but Quimbo couldn't go because he was sick and Jonah's hanging out with her mom. It was really no problem for me to wait for my brother until 4pm because I bought a new book. I sat in the LandMark food court (I was trying to hide from my brother and his friends. LandMark was the safest place I could go. Hehe.) and read for 4 and 1/2 hours straight. See, I could survive in situations like this one. All I need is a good book and an endless supply of water. Or food.

Anyway, I've realized how selfish and lucky I am. There's this old man outside UERM that fixes shoes for a living. And, I couldn't fathom why my dad would always insist on bringing him our broken shoes instead of Mr. Quicky. I found out today that Manong manually sews the shoes he fixes. One time, he repaired one of my shoes and one of Yo's rubbershoes. Do you know how much he asked for both of our shoes? Freakin' 20 pesos! God. My heart was so overcomed with pity that I demanded if my dad gave him a tip or something. (My dad said he did give Manong a tip. Hehe.) I also found out today that he couldn't read and he couldn't write. I asked my dad how'd he know an information like that. He told me that whenever someone asks Manong how much they're supposed to pay him, Manong would get a notebook where some numbers were written and point at it. He couldn't say how much. He doesn't know how to read it. He just knows the numbers or the color of the money he's supposed to receive. It may seem that I'm overreacting or something but, man, my heart broke into a million pieces. My throat got tight and I felt this pity and, somehow, amazement and pride too.

I begun to realize how self-centered and how blessed and fortunate I was. Look at me, I know how to read. Some people envy my collection of books. I would ask my mom or dad to buy me a book and that's that! I could freakin' read. I don't even have to work or do extra jobs. Look at how lucky I am. And look at how ungrateful I am. I always rant. I take everything for granted. I could repay my parents by studying hard and making extra efforts in my studies. But, look at what I'm doing. God. I'm such a selfish and unappreciative bitch. I want to choke myself.

I told my parents to always give Manong a tip and on special occassions, they should give him gifts too. God, the man is working really hard. What troubles me more's the fact that some people might abuse Manong's no-read-no-write situation. They might give him less money for the job he's doing well. If that happens, I hope those motherfucking bastards rot in hell.

Be My Teenage Dream Tonight.

So, another girly frustration, yes?

Anonimosity. by monkeyculture

I want to dress like a girl so bad it leaves a very sour taste in my mouth. Why do I have to be fat? I'm not lovable because I'm faaaaat. The thing is food is my first and only love. So, it's bloody hard to just leave it and ignore it. Are you getting me? Anyway, what the hell. Whatever, ok? I'll just dwell on my frustrations today and just forget about it tomorrow. Or next week. Or next year. Whatever.

T'was The Same As Before.

This Colorgenics test is really freaky. It's like it can read what's happening to me. So, I took it again today (after two years) and the result's so bloody accurate it made me wince:

You are feeling really miserable at this time and you'd like to form a relationship with someone with whom you could really communicate. At the same time, whoever it may be, that special 'someone' must not conflict with your own belief system or ideals. This makes for tough going - but it would seem that the situation is only transitory. It will soon pass.

You seem to lack the energy of late to get up and go. Your objectives appear to be unattainable and no one seems to care. You feel lost, neglected and need some W.T.C. (Warm tender care).

Everyone, sooner or later gets that feeling that one has been cut off from reality, cut off from everything that's going on around them. It usually happens when there is a complete lack of understanding and co-operation - be it from friends, family or loved ones. So what can one do about it? Instead of pondering as to what the future may hold, do something different. Make a cup of coffee. Have a shower. Read a book. Watch your favourite soap opera. Because as soon as you become involved in something different, the original disassociated feelings will dissipate.

You are experiencing more than your fair share of stress following an acute disappointment. This may be the result of subconscious conflict between hope and necessity. The tension that you are experiencing following your unfulfilled hopes have given rise to anxious uncertainty. You have no doubt that things could get better in the future and so you refuse to make the necessary essential decisions. This conflict between hope and necessity is creating considerable pressure. Instead of resolving this by facing up to making the essential decisions, you are likely to vacillate and concern yourself with trivialities of little consequence.

Sometimes one fears that its not worth formulating new ideas and projects because whatever you seem to have done in the past has never worked out and you are tired of, as they say, banging your head against a brick wall. No one seems to care. So now you are trying to get away from it all by withdrawing into a 'fantasy land' but unfortunately 'fantasy land' is just that and sooner or later you will have to return to reality so why delay the inevitable? When you do return, you will find that the situation is not as tough as perhaps you thought it was.

The first few parts are new.. But the two last paragraphs are the same from the one I took last December 13, 2008.
Freaky. You could click that link to view the sameness of my results. Freaky, huh?

On a different topic, this is the HTC phone I want. This is the HTC Wildfire. At first I was very interested with the HTC Desire Z.. Then I switched to this one. Told you I'm fickle. Anyway, isn't the Wildfire lovable and glamorous? God. If only I could own one.

Pretty pretty pretty!

SONG: B. o. B.'s Ghost In The Machine

Ok, Give Me This Instead.

I want the nails and the phone. Oh HTC phones.. Why do I have to fall in love with you now? I'm so fickle. It's embarrassing.



I want the HTC Desire Z specifically. It's so pretty and sleek and freakin' glamorous. Ugh. I want to stare at it all day long.

So, Where's My Christmas Present?

Last Wednesday, we went to Cabanatuan to spend Christmas there. I was so excited because I was going to see my cousins and act all goofy around them. I got to see my grandmother who never wasted a moment in saying that me and my brother should be doctors or pharmacists or dentists like the rest of them. Besides the latter ambush part, I was happy.

Today, it's Christmas time, and all I did was watch America's Next Top Model cycle 14 all day. It wasn't what you call a productive day but I was contented with it. Actually, I was sort of a bit odd today because I isolated myself from my family. They were talking and laughing and having fun.. And I was there in the living room.. Sprawled on the sofa.. Watching America's Next Top Model. Oh well. Anyway, I was rooting for either Jessica or Raina. In the end.. Raina was just the runner-up. Haaaaaay. But, seriously, Krista was good. At the back of my mind.. I knew she would win. Alasia was a fucking bitch. I hate her. I was really grinning like a mad man when she was eliminated.




Anyway, Merry Christmas to all you suckers out there! Hope you had an awesome one!

Don't Play Cheap With Your Heart.

For some time now.. I've been having these weird urges and fantasies to dress up like a girl. I want girl shorts for God's sake!

Here are some of the things I've mixed and matched using my Polyvore account. After being on hiatus for THREE YEARS.. I'm finally using it again!

Here's another one:

It seems like I could dress other people but I couldn't dress myself. I really want to look like a girl. I really do. :( It may seem ok to me when everybody thinks and asks if I'm a lesbian.. But, seriously, I want them to look at me like I'm a girl! Haaaay. Oh well. Helpless fantasies, indeed.

I Hate Pain.

So, tomorrow, I'm going to the hospital to have my ears thoroughly checked. Last week, there's this crazy and painful sting in my left ear. It pained me to chew and talk. It even caused me brain-numbing migraines. So, I went to the UST health service to have it examined. The arrogant and unbearable doctor told me that it's viral and something inside my ear was swollen. He gave me pain relievers and some liquid thing that I should drop in my left ear twice a day. After a day, the pain's almost tolerable. After two days.. It was gone. Hallelujah!

Now that my left ear's fine, it's my right ear that's suddenly acting up. God, the pain is unbearable and it's giving me a motherfucking crazy headache. So, whether I like it or not.. I would go with my dad tomorrow to have it examined by a patient and really skilled ENT.

Oh God, after the checkup tomorrow.. Please make the pain stop. I have a strong tolerance for pain but really.. This is making me go crazy.

Anyway, that's all. OMG. I hope the doctor wouldn't blame Ipe. My dad's sort of shoving it on my face that maybe it's too much iPod-ing that's causing my ears to get irritated. Oh well.

GoodNight everybody. It's going to be a LONG day tomorrow.

Paskuhan My Ass.

So, I went to the Paskuhan thing. Man, it wasn't awesome. At all! (Except for the Jamista part. HAHAHAHAHA. Super funny. I don't know why Nikki and I are the only ones laughing. It's hilarious kaya!) I swear it wasn't fun. We went to Balay to drink. It was ok at first. Then it got boring. And really scary and annoying. A weird guy was bothering Jonah. We should've punched his face. I should've taken Jodie's offer and went to the Lantern Parade instead. ANYWAY, the thing is, I also sort of left early (during the fireworks too, can you believe that?!) because I have a curfew. I was staying in the dorm, see. So, I have no choice but to abide by the rules.

Anyway, I'm off to Cavite in a few. I'm just waiting for my brother to come home. He's still in UP for a Christmas party or something. To keep me entertained, I'm currently reading Me and Mr. Darcy by Alexandra Potter. It's a love story (sort-of) but I really like it because Mr. Darcy's really there! WOOOHOOO. I have to finish it first to know if the protagonist is just dreaming or something.

A few more days and it's Christmas already. If you really want to make me happy.. Here is my Christmas Wishlist:

a.) Microsoft Kin ONEm (MICROSOFT REVIVED IT! WOO!)



b.) Neon-Pink Anthology flats.




c.) Purple ToyWatch. (Or the magenta one.)

These things would really make me happy. Especially the Microsoft Kin ONEm. They re-released it this November! If I've known it, I wouldn't buy a Nokia C3. I would ask my aunt or uncle in the States to buy me one there and I could or wouldn't pay them back. Really, it's their choice if they want me to pay them back. HEHE. ANYWAY, HUHUHU. Now, I'm stuck with a C3. And my lovely Microsoft Kin ONEm's being scattered all over the world. It breaks my heart so much. :(

The Anthology flats.. I would save up for it. It's about 26** and, too bad, I spent the money I'm going to use to buy it for my C3 so.. No Anthology flats for me. (Unless you're willing to buy me one! HIHI.)

The ToyWatch.. I'm currently promoting it to my parents. If they realize how cute and brilliant it is.. They might actually buy me one. *crosses fingers*

Christmas in not a time for receiving, it's a time for giving. So, to show my Christmas spirit.. I'm giving all my love to you guys! Cheers!

What's There To Rant About?

You know what, instead of ranting today.. I'm going to brag about my awesome life. Last Dec. 11, my cool college friends and I went to EK. (Yes, my dad finally allowed me to go after hours and days and hours of begging!) It was Nikki's 18th birthday celebration. I was so ecstatic I could shit rainbows. :>

I'm also very happy right now because the last day of regular classes would be tomorrow! After tomorrow, it's already Paskuhan. Wooohoooo. I hope it's as awesome as last year's Paskuhan.

So, honestly, what's there to rant about? I have a happy family. And.. AND.. I have super awesome and super cool friends.

(Up there are my HS friends)



And these.. These are my awesome college friends. :)

So, yeah, guess what? I think I'm very blessed after all. :>

(Credits to JODIE TANEDO and NIKKI YAMBAO for the pictures.)

SONG: Nelly's Just A Dream.

The Ride Of Your Life.

So, I'm blogging again using my phone. I don't want to open my laptop anymore because if my parents find out that I'm still awake.. I'm dead meat. And, I couldn't die right now because next week is Nikki's birthday celebration. Which makes me go to an annoying and depressing, um, thing. My dad's suddenly having second thoughts about this topic. He was worrying because he said that nobody could fetch me next week. I told him that I could stay at the dorm. Things got really, really ugly. Ugh. Fucker. I hope he changes his mind. Please God. Let this be my pre-Christmas miracle. Pleasssse. I think it's enough suffering because I already cried in our garage pa nga because of this. Huhu. Please?

On another different topic, I saw IV1 last night (7pm-11pm) It was Maeka's debuuut. Hihihi. Really enjoyed answering her tricky questions. Anyway, OMG. I miss HS so much it makes me want to quit school now. K. Hahaha. Whenever I'm with them, I always, always remember the good and happiest times of my miserable life. Ayy weh. =)) What thhe hell, you get the picture, right?

GOD PLEASE MAKE MY DAD CHANGE HIS MIND. If it's just any other person, I won't push this issue. But, this is the celebration of one of my closest friends. This is something different. PLEASE MAKE HIM CHANGE HIS MIND. He already said "Yes" before ehh. :((

If I die right now, I really wouldn't mind. Tsss.

So, Yeah. I'm Blogging Using My Phone.

I'm blogging using my phone! Hihi! My new phone is really making me forget my Microsoft Kin fantasies. Hehe. Unfortunately, I'm only allowed to type 5000 letters. Boo. But, what the hell. Free's free.

I want to write something deep and mind-numbing but my brain's not working. My writing mojo is declining.. Fast! Maybe it's because I'm spending more time online than reading books? Ugh. Totally my fault. Still, my love for books.. It would never ever ever fade. Hihi. :))

I don't have any HW this weekend! Thank God! I could finish the damn The Vampire Diaries and totally whore over Paul Wesley. Hehehe. God, he's so hot. I know I've said something like this before about a different guy.. But, please let me say it again: Paul Wesley is definitely one of the guys I'm going to marry. He is so hottttt! My best friend wont stop calling him a troll, though. She said that he really looks like a trll. I beg to differ. I know he's chin's sort of.. Long. But! But! But! It's a part of his charm. And it emphasizes the, um, beauty of his jawline. Hehe.

Anyway, I guess this is long enough. It didn't even reach 3000 letters. Hahaha.

SONG: Down by Jason Walker. Superrrr gandaaaa!

Crazy-Ass Kids.

It’s time to say goodbye to my cute neon pink Anthology shoes. :( Last Tuesday, I bought a new phone. I bought the pink Nokia C3 (WHAT IS UP WITH ME AND PINK THESE DAYS? My LG phone, the one before the Nokia C3, was also pink. What the hell? Hahaha.) Since I bought a new phone, I lost most of the money I’ve saved. Huhuhu. I need to save for at least 3000 pesos before Christmas break. I really, really, really want those pink Anthropology shoes. :( The trapped girl inside me’s DYING. Let’s see if I could bully my mom into buying me those cute flats. Hahaha. Kidding.

I'm still not very happy with my new phone because I really, really, really want a Microsoft Kin. HUHUHU.

It’s Friday tomorrow. Thank God. I hope there won’t be any HW’s for the weekend. I want to finish the bloody Vampire Diaries. I don’t really like the story (I’M SORRY.) because it’s.. Cheesy and it’s about love and blah blah blah. (Sorry I’m not a sucker for love stories. Huhu.) Still.. Paul Wesley is one hot guyyyy. I wouldn’t mind watching The Vampire Diaries because of him. Hahaha.

Anyway, wow, it’s December already! A few more days and I would finally get to spend some time with my family. HIHIHI.

Ok, bye. Whatever.