Just Keep Breathing.

Last Saturday, we went to Mindoro.  (We just got back early this morning.  At around 6.30-ish, I think?)  Our main goal was to visit my mom's best friend because it's her dad's funeral.  Anyway, I enjoyed the trip there! I'll share an anecdote, Ninang Tess (mom's best friend) and my parents were talking about disciplining children and stuff and she said that between her and Ninong Noli (her husband), she's firmer (like Claire Dunphy) because when reprimanding their kids, Ninong Noli could give out outrageous and out of this world remarks like, "Gusto mo bang ichainsaw kita?" which doesn't make him a very scary disciplinarian.  Well, basically, he's such a charming and funny person so it's hard to take him seriously.  He's like Leo Martinez-Phil Dunphy-and my dad combined!  No kidding!  If you knew him, you would freakin' roll on the floor because of the "Gusto mo bang ichainsaw kita?" part.  I was literally laughing like a babboon!  No shit!  I still laugh whenever I remember that "Gusto mo bang ichainsaw kita?" story.  Hahahaha!

Since we didn't bring any camera, my screen shots are the only proof I have that we did go to Mindoro.  See the weather part under the time!  When there's internet connection or wifi or shit, it automatically updates where you are.  So, see, there's Puerto Galera and Calapan City.  Hahahaha.  Actually, whenever I have interviews I always say that I'm out of town so I print-screened some shit as proof if my future employers or interviewers ask for one, you know?

Anyway, on something different, Yo just passed his NMAT (National Medical Admissionn Test) with..  flying colors!  His score's 99+!  99 freakin' +!!  (I think it's really necessary to put the "+")  I'm really proud of him because before he took his NMAT he was freakin' depressed because he was having a hard time on this one subject (personally, I think his professor's a son of a bitch, you know?)  So my parents were even, like, cheering him on and spoiling him a bit - a lot (Okay fine, I admit..  I was freakin' jealous.  I mean, c'mon, they were never like that when I'm down and shit.  They would just scold me and stuff.  We even went to, like, three freakin' churches to pray for him.  Can you believe that?  I don't remember my parents doing that for me.)  Yo was even telling me how scared he was - he can't study for NMAT because of his stupid school shit.  So, basically, he took his NMAT without studying.  And then he got a freakin' 99+ on his first take!  How swell is that?  He's such a fucking freak of nature.  And, I know for a fact that 99+ is a big deal.  See, Yo was telling us this freaky orgmate he knows that's really grade-conscious.  His first NMAT was just, like, 96 or something.  He wasn't impressed, he took a second NMAT just so he could get a 99+.   AND MY BROTHER GOT A 99+ ON HIS FIRST FREAKIN' TAKE!

In not so many words, I know that that geek's happy and shit, you know?  I watched him have a sort-of meltdown when he failed a subject last sem (which was a first for him so he was really devastated.  Since, he's a failure virgin..  maybe that's why my parents were spoiling him and stuff..  Hmmm.  I failed three subjects in high school and they didn't give a shit!  I almost didn't graduate on time during high school.  And did I mention that our graduation was on my 17th birthday?  So, back to the point, they were buttering Yo up and stuff, and I was there not caring.  Don't get me wrong I gave an "aww this shit happens" stuff but I wasn't..  I don't pity him.  I mean, okay, it was his professor's fault.  Seriously.  The prof has a reputation of being unfair and unreasonable - Yo was just unlucky he got that professor.) The point is..  my brother deserved this shit.  He deserved this 99+ to boost his morale, you know?

Just saying.

So, that's what's going on with me.  How about you?  What've you been up to?

Fat And Sarcastic: For Hire.

As much as I love to mooch off of my parents - I think I need to find a job...  Soon.  I desperately need the money.  Actually, I already have plans on where to spend my first paycheck.  I'm gonna buy a Roxy watch, a new pair of flats (anywhere..  Although, I've been eyeing something from Aldo), and a new Mossimo bag (or the one big bag thingy I saw from Mango.)  So, see, I have plans already..  for the money.

The truth is, I'm scared to work.  When I see myself working - it freaks me out.  Not because I have to interact with people and be stuck in an entirely different environment but because it feels so..  Mature.  See, in our house, I'm treated as a baby and as a princess.  I am not shitting you.  I'm a freakin' baby princess - that's what my parents call me and that's how they see and treat me.  And that's how I feel!  If I start working - I would probably feel old and, fuck it, I would have responsibilities and obligations.  And you guys know how I shy away from that stuff.  I know that I should be independent and stuff but at 21 - I don't know if I'm ready.  It's really pathetic, I know.  But, what can I do?  It's how I feel!  Besides, if I do find a job that I like - I'll probably forget all of these fears and stuff, you know?

Another thing that freaks the bejesus out of me is the company ignoring me.  I had four freakin' interviews already and I haven't been contacted - again.  Oh dear baby Jesus, I know my resume is not impressive but I'm a freakin' people-person and as long as I have training or stuff, I am adequately equipped to join the massive line of working people around the metro!  Okay, so, there are a bajillion other people who are better than me but..  Are they funnier than me?  I am a freakin' hilarious person, let us not forget about that, future-employers.  During stressful and awkward situations, I would probably crack a joke that would make you raise your eyebrows and give an uncomfortable laugh (or you could just ogle and stare at me, whatever works.)  But, hey it would make you forget about your stress (considering the fact that you don't fire me on the spot.)

Wait, omg, I get it.  Am I unemployed because of my weight?  Because I'm fat?  Oprah is fat but she's charming and witty and sympathetic towards other people!  And I'm all of that (focus on charming, focus on charming)!  Future-employers, I guarantee superior service (from me) if you hire me!  I would slave my way to your hearts and you wouldn't regret a thing.  You would probably pat each other's back's because you hired a person as charismatic as I am!  I would bring your company honor and glory!

I'm starting to talk like a demented person.  So, ANYWAAAAAAAAY,

On something different, I would go to Cabanatuan tomorrow and Mindoro on the weekends.  After that, I think we would go to Banawe.  I don't know if this is the right time for my mom to abandon all of her responsibilities but.. meh.

My Face Was Long When I Heard A Whisper In Her Song.

This is probably one of my favorite songs in the whole wide world.

Check it and burn!

Leopold Street.

Don't get me wrong I love my mom (my relationship with her is so tightly-knit, sometimes I think it's already unhealthy) but she can be a fucking freak sometimes.  No, I'm not talking about the cute kind of freak - I'm talking about the, leave-me-the-fuck-alone kind of freak.  I fucking hate it when she bugs me or scolds me whenever I'm talking to someone on the phone.  I don't know if she's doing some kind of power-tripping thing but it is motherfucking infuriating!  Whenever I'm talking to someone, she would yell out reklamo shit and stuff.  That's why I always hide whenever I'm talking on the phone.  One time, she saw me pacing around the kitchen intensely (yes, because job-talks are getting kind of ahfklaflas these days, you know?  I really need to get a job) and she scolded me (take note: I was still on the line, ha) by asking why I'm hiding.  As in glare stuff, why are you there?  It's as if you're hiding something suspicious and stuff.  No, mom, I'm fucking hiding because you're always rude whenever I'm on the phone.

Puta I'm so angry right now.  She always do this kasi.  Puta.

I love how this family is close, you know, but sometimes, there should be boundaries.  There's no more privacy around here, Jesus Christ.

Was I Ever Someone You Adored?

Quick update:

I hope you guys could find a copy of News by The Novel Ideas.  I'm so in love with that song right now.

My interview was a fiasco 'cause I stuttered a lot.  But, it's okay.  I don't really like the job and postion I'm applying for, anyway.

Met up and had lunch with Gego.  I missed her!  I miss my HS friends!

Anyway, happy 21st birthday to one of the most loyal friend ever!!

Even After Everything We’ve Seen, We’ve Barely Caught A Glimpse Of What It Means.

I have a job interview at the Podium tomorrow.  I might meet Gego before my 1 pm interview since she lives and works near the Podium.  I'm excited and really freaked out at the same time.  I hope I wing this thing.  Wish me luck, yes?

I have a lot to say about keeping your old friends even if you have new friends but.. I don't know.  I'm too lazy to be coherent and to write.  Anyway, the point is, wow, okay, you've moved on and shit (you even forgot my birthday), it just disappoints me and makes me sad 'cause I thought the five of us would be, like, solid friends.  I don't know if I've changed a lot - I mean, I still bug you guys a lot and talk about shit a lot, you know?  I don't know.  I hope you're happy and shit.

Might elaborate on that stuff some other time.  All I can think about right now's my job interview tomorrow (plus, two more on Friday.)  Jesus Christ.

Jesus, I Just Can't..

I cannot emphasize enough how scared shitless I am of the future.  Jobstreet textmed me a while back that there were some interview-requests thing for me.  Unfortunately, I'm not at home so I wasn't able to check my email and stuff.  But, on the way home.. I was freaking out.  I know that my resume isn't really impressive and, honestly, I'm not even a star student.  I was pretty average, I'm not exceptional.  So, I was kind of freaking out and breathing deeply and shit.  I was already thinking, "Fuck, would I wing this thing? Would I fail?  What if I muck things up?" You know?  Those kind of things.  I am a freakin' nervous wreck right now.  I just want the interviews over and done with.

The other problem is..  I am not sure what to do with my life.  I just applied to every company I could see in JobStreet that requires fresh-grads and CA students.  If one of these companies accept me, I swear I won't fuck things up and shit.

Jesus, I am so terribly and insanely scared of the future... Of everything, actually.  Just guide me and stuff.  Please.

We Carve Our Names On The Surface Of History.

Something to fall in love with when you're pissed off with the world.

Don't get me wrong, I'm contented and happy with my life.  This song just calms me down whenever I'm ready to hurl and murder the next person who sings Call Me Maybe.  Hihi.

Staring At The Bottom Of Your Glass Hoping One Day You'll Make A Dream Last.

Since I'm a conceited little prat (and actually, hey, you're in my blog.  Well, honestly, I'm just too lazy to write coherently) I will post another set of random shit about me, or the stuff that I think about, or feel, or whatever, you know, it's random.

• I eat hotdogs and sausages everyday, without fail.  I don't know but I just have to eat some.  I love it so much.
• And I'll probably die of cancer.  I eat hotdogs everyday and.. you know.. I used to do other stuff.  Plus, I don't remove my bra - ever.  I wear it 24/7.
• I love, love, love, love, love, love caramel more than chocolate.
• I have a thing for girls with long faces and big teeth (see: Agyness Deyn, Emily DiDonato, and Frida Gustavsson.)

• I don't like getting sweaty (which is really weird 'cause I'm always dripping with sweat.)  I hate the feeling.
• I'd rather stay at a very cold place than a hot and sunshiney one.
• I hate, hate, hate, hate, hate x infinity, Finding Nemo.  I think I'm the only person in the world who doesn't like it.
• I don't really care if I look like an idiot in a picture and someone posts it on Facebook or Twitter.  Like this one:

• Do you know those scenes in a movie or in a TV series where they get something and leave it somewhere else?  Or when they mess up their stuff in the table or kitchen or cabinet or something?  I get really O.C. about that.  As in, until the end of the movie, I would keep on thinking about the stuff that got messed up and what would happen to it. Seriously.
• I only had a Rihanna track in my iPod when I was in 4th year hs (I was 16) and a Neyo track when I was a freshman in college (I was 17.)
• I like to think that I'm an interesting person but actually I'm pretty average and boring.
• I don't really care about my stupid followers thing on twitter and the likes I get on facebook.  I mean, only losers and fucktards care about that crapola.
• When I was younger, I really liked having nosebleeds.  I liked the feeling of blood suddenly dripping down my nose.  Hahahaha!  Omg I was weird. -______-
• My only playmate when I was a kid was my brother.  We were not allowed to go outside the house or play with the neighborhood kids or something.  I mean, we would ride our bicycles inside the house or in the garage.  
• I had three imaginary friends back then - Mijarla, Mitchy, and.. I forgot the name of the other one.  I would often drink tea with them and act like grown-ups with them.  Oh shit, I was retarded.
• I'm scared as shit of the future.  As Motion City Soundrack puts it, "The future freaks me out."  It freaking scares the bejesus out of me.
• I don't like breakfast food.  I don't know if it's connected with the earliness of the day and shit.. But, I don't like eating pancakes or waffles or tapsilog at 8 in the morning.  Ugh.  I hate breakfast food.  That's one of the reasons I'm not tempted to try IHOP or something.  Anyway, so, if you're wondering what I eat during breakfast..  I eat pasta or lunch or dinner food.  Go ask my parents, it's true.
• ... I need to find a job very soon.  I love being a bum around the house but I need money.  Huhuhu.

I will continue this some other time.  Hihi.

Only Know You Love Her When You Let Her Go.

If you wanna cry or shit or what.. Listen to this very well-written and well-sung song by Passenger.

The End Of The Night.

Today I'm going to post my favorite One Direction songs!  If you love me, you'll listen to it, appreciate it, and become a Directioner!

1.) They Don't Know About Us

The first time I heard this song, I fell in love.  This was the best song in their Take Me Home Album (in my opinion.)

2.) Change My Mind

Still in the Take Me Home album.  I love how Louis was the opening singer in this song.  He may not be my favorite 1D member but his voice is one of the reasons I love One Direction!

3.) Loved You First

Still from Take Me Home. Omg. My Top 3's from Take Me Home.  I think the song's better in TMH anyway.

4.) One Thing

This one's a classic.  Zayn in the video makes my undies wet.  Kidding!  Or not.  Hahahahaha!  I'm kidding! I'm kidding!

5.) I Want

This one's written by Tom Fletcher (McFly) so it's extra special.  Hihihi.

6.) I Would

I love this song so much!  I love how Zayn sings the chorus part hihihi.

Lastly:

7.) Same Mistakes

Nothing could describe how much I love this song.  Nothing!

I love One Direction!  I really, really, really wish they'd visit the Philippines soon!

We Were Strangers Starting Out On A Journey.

Graduation day.

All pictures are from Nikki Yambao!

I love you 4CA5!

My beautiful B-Fam!

Probably the person I'll miss the most.

I may have a love-hate relationship with my block but that just makes it harder for me to, you know, just let them go and stuff.  I mean, after graduation I know things will never be the same.  We wouldn't see each other everyday.  People won't get to backstab and say stuff about me anymore - like how noisy and loud I am.  Hahahaha.  Just kidding.  I only know two or three people who hate me that.  Anyway, the point is, everything will change.  And it just kills me.  I will miss JM's shimi-shimi shit.  I will miss Joyce's awful, awful, awful, and corny jokes.  I will miss how tiny Aja and Pearl are HAHAHAHA.  I mean, they're cute when they walk together.  Hell, I'll even miss how Al "trips" whenever she walks.  I mean, come on.  I'll miss the "noisiest" and "most notorious" CA block.

We may be dubbed as the most terrible block who made more than 11 professors walk out of our room but I know that these boisterous people would go places.  These people would succeed.  I can just feel it.

Well, I guess I've to face the inevitable, huh?  So, here's to change and.. growing up.

I love you 4CA5. :-)  And it's because of this love that I want you to listen to At The Beginning after reading this post!  Hahahaha!