Tell Me More, Tell Me More, Did You Get Very Far?

I remember my senior year in high school and the other group from my section presented this as their musical.  (Ours, if you're interested to know, is HSM2.  I was Troy Bolton.  Don't laugh.  I memorized the songs!  Hahahahaha.)

Sometimes I feel like it's easy for people to just forget me and stuff.  Although I think (I HOPE) it's just in my head.  But, I always have to have this reassurance that people aren't just gonna walk away and leave me, you know?  Shit, needy pala.  Hahahaha!  Kidding aside, I know I have the tendency to really push people away - like, really push them away until they give up on me.  I don't know if I'm unconsciously testing them or trying their limit to these kind of situations but, I don't know, I can't help it.  I can't give my loyalty to the people around me if they'll just gonna scat the minute I become difficult, you know?  I think this is one of the reasons I have, like, two or three true friends.

Actually, I don't know why I'm like this.  I think it's genetic?  My dad once told me that my mom always need to have some kind of reassurance that she's loved and stuff.  I'm not surprised, my grandparents sort of neglected my mom.  I mean, they were always at work.  She grew up with their yaya or maid or something.  So, anyway, can you see where I'm headed?  No?  The point is - my mom needs some reassurance and shit and I need them too!  Although, mine's.. unwarranted, I guess?  I mean, I was loved, adored, even, in this family.  So, see, I don't know why I'm like this.  I'll totally get it if you're screwing up your face like you smelled dung or something because I can't understand myself either.

Don't get me wrong, the people who stayed or are willing to stay - I'm always ready to give my arm and my leg for them.  Always.  Huh.  In some ways, I think this could be an answer.  I think I expect a lot from my friends because (if they gained my trust and love and loyalty) I'm willing to do as much for them.  Are you getting me?  Wow, it's like all you have to do is train me and shit.  I'm like a dog.

All of these thoughts from watching Grease.  Right, Rina, right.