Mortal Shit Whatever.

So, I watched Mortal Instruments: City of Bones last night because I like Lily Collins.  And then.. the unexpected (more like inevitable) happened..  I fell in love with Jamie Campbell Bower.  (Fell in love HAHAHAHAHA)  Most of my friends know that I only get attracted to either guys really older than me (Johnny Depp and Eric Bana in high school.  I actually obsessed over Johnny Depp for three years.  RDJ in high school to college.  And Jared Leto in high school then making a comeback when I was a sophomore in college)  or reaaaaaaaally dirty-greasy tall, and lanky guys e.g. almost always band members (Billy Martin from Good Charlotte, Paul Koehler from Silverstein *Omg do not judge me.  He might be unattractive for you guys but when he drums, my panties want to slide out of me HAHAHAHAHA but that's in high school*, Tyson Ritter, Nick Wheeler, Bill Beckett *although, he isn't really dirty looking, right?*)  So, anyway..  Jamie Campbell Bower pretty much fits in the second category.  He's tall, and not muscular (I'm not really into the bulging muscles type), and he looks really, well, NOT gross but he doesn't really have a clean cut or whatever in City of Bones so..  You know.

 

I can't really post pictures right now because I'm using my dad's laptop (and he only has IE.  I told him a thousand times to switch to Chrome but.. no.  I even told him that he's the only person I know who still uses IE.  But he's indifferent.  Jesus Christ) and I'm not at home and shit.  But, dude, you got to google it.  JCB is the shit.

 

So, I told my best friend that I would read the Mortal Instruments series.  I googled it a while ago and based on the summaries I read - there's no fucking way I'm going to read that piece of crap!  The plot is a cliche, okay.  Plus, I already know now that Clary and Jace aren't siblings so, yeah, no taboo there.  Anyway, I'm sorry if you liked the series..  I would try not to judge you.  I mean, to each his own, right?  But, you couldn't crucify me or what for not liking it.  I mean, it's just the synopsis and I'm already rolling my eyes.  What more would my eyes do if I read the entire series, right?  Although, it's YA fiction so..  maybe that's why I don't really click with it.  Tweeners would def like it, I think?

 

So, anyway, the City of Bones movie has, like, reaaaaaaally low ratings and negative reviews because the critics found the plot unimpressive and, I quote, "Bogged down by narrative clutter and tween-targeted supernatural romance, The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones borrows ingredients from seemingly every fantasy franchise of the last 30 years—but can't seem to figure out what to do with them."  That's from Rotten Tomatoes.  This one, I got from Wikipedia who quoted Michael Rechtshaffen from The Hollywood Reporter, "Certainly not the first and very unlikely the last studio attempt at launching a Twilight/Hunger Games franchise of their very own, The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones is a bona fide saga all right—just not in a good way.  Despite the overstuffed assortment of vampires, werewolves, warlocks and demons of all shapes and sizes, The Mortal Instruments seldom feels like anything more than a shameless, soulless knockoff."

 

Anyway, I didn't really feel bad after watching the movie because, hello, Jamie Campbell Bower HAHAHAHA.  Plus, I wasn't really expecting anything mind blowing, you know?

So, whatever.  Go read the series and judge it for yourself.  I'm only going to watch the movie (if they still continue it.  There were rumors about shutting it down because it didn't really click that much, you know?) because of Jamie Campbell Bower!!!  Lily Collins.. you're forgotten.  Hahahahaha!