The Year That Was

If you have been keeping up with this blog (HAHAHAHAHA) you would know how miserable I was in college.  Sure, there were happy (but fleeting) moments and I found friends that I would die for but I wasn't contented.  I felt incomplete.  When I went to med school, sure, it's hard as shit but never did I regret entering med school and working my ass off.  The people I met there and would later on become my friends made school light (HAHAHA WISHFUL THINKING) and really fun!  After seven years, I'm finally happy again!

This was my year in med school in a nutshell:

It's going to be hard to top this year off.

Happy New Year guys!

Wait.

SEMBREAK!

I still have to submit a draft for my biochem portfolio, though.

What have you been up to?

I've Come Too Close To Happiness To Have It Swept Away.

I love this song so much.  Med school is super exhausting.  Although, I think I'm lucky because I made good friends and they make the hardship bearable.  Although, if I don't get my grades up... Ugh I don't want to think about it.

(Please don't let this be like college.  If what happened in college happens to me, I don't think I would be able to make it anymore.  :-( )

Cheerio.

Barely Getting By.

Med school is so HARD.  Especially for someone who didn't take up a premed course.  Puta no matter how hard I study, it's still not enough.  -_-  But, I haven't been this happy in a long time, so, it's worth it.  I just got to push myself more and shit or whatever quote I could use right about now

Go, Don't Stop.

Strings, Holes, And Everything In Between. from monkeyculture on 8tracks Radio.

.. Because I'm listening to it while cramming for my HPM paper and Biochem lab shit.

.. Because it's one of the best playlists I made.

.. Because it's a Sunday.

.. Because..  Why Not?

HIV, Man.

First long exams this comming Monday.  First exam I'm gonna take is... Biochemistry.

Karla, Cheche, and I are going to be transferred to another physio lab group..  which fucking sucks 'cause I already love my Physio lab group.  

Anyway, I haven't had a decent sleep since I started med school.  It's okay, eh, ganito eh HAHAHAHA labo puta

All My Nightmares Escaped My Head.

I received my first failing quiz (in med school) yesterday.  It was disheartening and I moped around the condo when I got home.  Actually, I was on the verge of tears the whole day HAHAHAHAHA Pero wala eh, ginusto ko 'to eh.  I knew that it's going to be hard.

I'm going to bounce back.

Don't Let Her Stick It To Your Heart So Hard.

Spent the weekend with one of the (few) people I truly love and care for!

I hope we could do this every week!  I missed you so!

Anyway, can't stop humming this song:

(I had a busy week.  Med school is so harddddddd.  For a quiz with just ten items, I spent 8 hours studying everything huhuhuhu.  Sometimes I feel like giving up and shit.  But, sabi nga ni Jonah, I must look at the light at the end of the tunnel HAHAHAHAHA Anyway, thank you Jonah for all those encouraging shit you texted/told me/messaged me this week and for "trying" to review me for my Anatomy quiz.  I needed that.)

It's Hard To Catch The Light When You're Running From The Day.

Life As I Know It.

Classes officially started yesterday but we were just introduced, plus there was a short orientation of sorts for HPM in the afternoon.  The orientation in the afternoon was actually shorter than our lunch break but it was okay because I was with friends! Yay! I wish we didn't have to separate but.. hay.  Hahahahaha clingy na kagad.

I'm excited to learn and to actually study but I'm scared that my brain wouldn't be able to handle it and shit.  Gah.  

Anyway, I wouldn't be able to update this blog often anymore since I have to bury my head in books.  I'm going to miss my gap year but I'm also excited (and fucking nervous) of what actually lies ahead.

It's My World That I Invent.

Everything's about to end this coming June 13 and I'm sort of freaking out.  It's going to be a big change, not only am I not living at home again, I'm living alone!  Oh, and let's not forget that it's med school so it's going to be fucking brutal.

I had a glimpse of how hard it's going to be when I took a biochemistry bridging class for two weeks.  I had a hard time, you would pity me.  It felt like the professors were speaking Greek!  I almost walked out and shit.  But then, I realized something.  I want, and I mean I really want, to be a doctor.  It's going to be a loooooong and bumpy ride.  It isn't going to be a piece of cake, I know I would have to really study for exams because I couldn't just wing it like I did back in college.  I'm pretty sure it's going to slowly kill me.  But you know what?  I'm up to the challenge.  This whole thing might've started as a way to postpone the inevitable (which is growing up and getting a job... in the future) and to show the people (mostly my blockmates) that I'm not just a dumb loud mouth but, eventually, I realized that I'm not doing this for those two reasons, well, not entirely.  I'm doing it for myself.  I've been sucked by insecurities that I started to forget what made me, well, me

I don't get intimidated easily.  I mean, I know that I'm not beautiful, I mean, I'm not even remotely attractive, but I'm fine with it!  I have no issues with that!  I love myself and I wouldn't change a thing about me (well, maybe I should start eating healthy or something 'cause I've grown half the size of a killer whale.)  I don't really care about how people view me physically.  People call me fat and obese and stuff and that's okay with me!  God knows my friends and family (and strangers) call me that all the time.  And, besides, it's true.  Why would I get offended when they're just stating facts?  I think that's why I don't get intimidated easily, I already know that I'm not attractive and I'm really fat so people couldn't really hold that against me. Anyway, screw them because I'm funny, I'm entertaining, I'm well-read, and I have a fucking amazing taste in music! (HAHAHAHA)  So, okay, the point is, I love myself, who I am, what I am, how I am - I'm contented with all of that.  I think there's just one characteristic or trait or whatever that I get really intimidated with (? at?)  I get intimidated with smart people.  Well, not the "smart" people from my block, they're studious and book smart or artsy and creative smart.  I'm talking about sciencey and math and left-side-of-brain smart!

I remember how insecure I was whenever we went to my brother's high school for his family day and stuff (he was from Philippine Science.  He said it's overrated how people get impressed with that.  He's smart and he's from there so.. what does he know, right?)  I couldn't be my charming self (HAHAHAHAHA) and stuff because all I could think about was, "Omg these are really intelligent people" and how I'm out of my league there.  I don't know.  I know I'm not dumb but.. God, those kids were already taking Chemistry and Physics when they were, what, 14?  I took Physics when I was 16 and I failed three quarters!  Anyway, that's not the point.  The point is, I get overwhelmed (and really impressed) with brainiacs!  I think I blogged a lot about this when I was in high school.

I'm going to take up medicine and I'm going to finish and slay this motherfucker because I have to prove to myself that I could do it; not for some of my stupid blockmates who thought I'm an idiot just because I'm not a DL or a Cum Laude or whatever, not for the professors who tormented our block and who thought that we would amount to nothing, but for me (and my parents and grandfather, let's not forget about them.)

So, that's that.  I haven't poured my heart out in a really long time and, wow, this feels..  I feel great.

Do me one favor and pray for me or whatever.  I swear I'm going to give you a huge discount when I'm already the president of the PMA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  Dream big!

It's Good To Be Bad.

I think Tokyo Police Club officially bumped off Gran Ronde from my Top 5 Favorite Bands.  I don't know, just saying.  I hope TPC would finally reply to one of my tweets!

What Is This?

One of my favorite-est songs in the whole wide world

Please Forgive Me If I Act A Little Strange.

A Reminder.

I don't know what's going on with me.  I think this is 'cause of my period but.. meh.  I'm pissed off and scared and I want to put my head under my pillow and just cry.  I don't know why I'm feeling this way, exactly.  I mean, it's a great week!  I'm already enrolled at UERM and my classes would start this June 13.  Don't get me wrong I'm shit-on-the-face excited but, mostly, I'm scared too.  I'm scared that I wouldn't make any friends.  I'm scared that I might not keep up with the subjects.

What did I get myself into?

But.. No.  I want this.  I realized, last year, that I always wanted to be a doctor.  I wasn't motivated to do well in my college years because at the back of my mind, I knew I wanted to be a doctor.  Since I'm being totally honest here, I didn't take up a premed course because I didn't want to have a hard time.  I didn't want to study.  My gap year made me realize that if I wanted to do what I actually wanted to do, I have to face the fact that I would have to experience hardships and stuff.

So, that's that.  Here's to ten sleepless years!  I'm scared but..  I'm really, really, really excited, as well!

Strangers In A Strange Land.

We ambarked on a six day trip to Malaysia and Singapore last May 02.  This post is going to be flooded with turista pictures hahahaha.  I was a very cute tourist, mind (JOKE LANG HAHAHAHA)

The pictures are not organized but, we went to KL first then SG then back to KL.

Hollywood and NY are my favorite parts in Universal studios! The structures were so legit!

Cute ko ba

Following pictures are taken in Malaysia

Obligatory Petronas Towers photo.  But, it's really beautiful, isn't it?

The following photos are taken in Aquaria KLCC.  I loved the Piranha feeding show!

Please love me even if I'm fat

Would you believe that this is a shrimp?  It's about 10 inches long!

Following are all taken from Putrajaya.  Jesus, I loved looking at this place!  It was so beautiful!

KLIA 2 opened the day we arrived in Malaysia!  It was so clean and the ac was amazing.  Anyway, walalang.  I took some photos because it was beautiful hehe