Last night I received one of the best pre-birthday gifts in my entire life (the other one, if you're curious, is the Death Cab For Cutie concert I watched two years ago, five days before my 20th birthday.) It was sort of embarrassing because we were at the mall and I almost peed my pants crying and squealing. Woooohooo thank you God!
Anyway, you guys might think I'm OA or whatever but I really freak out when I think about my upcoming seventh 15th birthday. You guys have no fucking idea. Last Friday, I was talking to my mom. It was pretty chill but then we got to the topic of my birthday and shit and Jesus fucking Christ, my heart started to beat really fast. I don't want to grow old. But, more importantly, I DON'T WANT TO GROW UP. You guys have no idea how it freaks me out and how it scares the living Jesus out of me. Just last week, I was staring at the ceiling and then I realized how near my stupid birthday is and I cried. I told you it would look OA to you but.. ehhhh, whatever, this is me. Growing up is pretty much one of the things I fear the most in life. (It even drives me to tears when I think about it.) Growing up means there are responsibilities and obligations and stuff that you have to take seriously. And.. I think I'm still a kid and I don't want to do any of that. I am still a kid. You know, I even freak out when I see my batchmates or whatever have kids. You know why? It's because I'm already at the phase of my life where it's normal for me or my peers or people my age to consider having children and.. Jesus.. that's so grown-up.
Heh. Just writing all of these's making me panic.
One thing's for sure - I'm NEVER going to act my age. NEVER.
No comments:
Post a Comment