Define: ODESSA

This is a HELL harder than I thought. I thought it was just another descriptive thingy where you have to define a person and tell good stuff about her. Jesus. I just realized that this thing is WORK. It's draining the genius out of me. HAHAHA.

How could I describe Odessa Vidallon? UGH. Why did I even choooose heeeer? HAHAHA. Kidding. :)) I mean, I want it to be special since it's Odessa. The main problem is that I don't know how to start. I don't want to sound, um, patrionizing. But, I want to show Odessa in a GREAT and BRIGHT light. HAHAHA. God. I am so caught in between.

How could I tell everybody that she's one of the most optimistic people I know? How could I possibly explain and elaborate her vivacious attitude? How could I explain in just a couple of words how her sunny atmosphere makes everyone smile? Can you see my dilemma?

I'll get to this. SOON. Gaaaahd. I need something to boost my brain.

One Day You'll Get Sick Of Saying That Everything's Alright.

Gaaawd. I slept at around 4.10 then I woke up at 8. What's wrong with me?

Hmm. Let me see, it seems like everybody watched Twilight the movie already. I dunno. I'm not really thrilled, no offense. I mean, yeah sure, it's ok for me to watch it -- it's also ok if I didn't catch it. Get it? Actually, I'm looking forward to the movie "The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button." I first saw its trailer when I watched Max Payne. And honestly, TCCOBB is more interesting than Twilight (No offense..) I swear. It's also a plus that Brad Pitt's going to play Benjamin Button! :">

No classes tomorrow. Super cool. I can stay up late! I also have the prerogative to not sleep at all! YEY-UH!

7 hours ago, I watched "21". GOD. It was so fucking cool! Although, I don't really know what's going on with the cards-thingy since I don't play Black Jack. Still, you get my point, right? The story was awesome. I was literally gripped. COOLIO! :D Believe me, if you haven't watched it yet -- you're missing a quarter of your life. Seriously.

UGH. I'm so sleepy but I couldn't sleep. My eyes are flickering but I couldn't close them. Something's really, really, really wrong.

UGH. I think my writing's pretty crappy these days. I don't get it. I really don't. I must really be messed up because I don't like anything I write or blog these days.

SIGHS. You didn't just suck the happiness out of me -- You also drained MY capability to express myself. How am I supposed to get up now?

Maybe I overrated myself. It's high-time I realize that I'm not that important. God, I hoped I was, well, special. Then again, I'm just some piece of shit who got whirled inside your precious bubble, right? I might as well stop -- I would. I SHOULD.

Every Minute With Her Was Full Of Pain. But, Every Minute Without Her Was Even Worse.

"Kailangan mong bumalik sa sarili mo."
-Lourdes Sabellina

I agree -- kasi, LINTEK, hindi ko na alam ang ginagawa ko sa sarili ko ehh. Too much drama's causing me trauma. YEY-UH! That rhymes! :))

Anyway, another date with Lourdes on Tuesday! YEY!

Today's not really a bad day. Although I'm very disappointed because I didn't get to hang out with Jodie, Odessa, and Eryel. UGH. Boooohooooo.

New layout -- AGAIN. I got tired of the brown-layout thingy. UGH.

Gaaad. I need Gego's password so I could change her layout already! :))

I've noticed that I'm very random. :| Hmm. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Jesus. Maybe I'm very bangag na. I need to catch some Z's.

G'night :)

SONG: Paramore's Brighter :)

If You Run Away Now, Will You Come Back Around?

Dear God,

I'm very very very confused and I don't know what to do. All I'm asking now is that you help me in every decision I make. Help me make the right decisions -- the ones I wouldn't mourn about. Please? You know I hate crying and all those drama. But, what's going on? I've been crying for ages -- my eyes hurt. Seriously.

I'm not just mentally drained -- I'm emotionally drained too. I feel numb and I act numb, even my friends say that it's as if I'm not even with them -- I don't talk anymore, I don't smile anymore.

You know I tried everything I could. Then again, you have those twisted plans that I could only comprehend when I'm in my proper state.

I'm not a fucking stop-over. I'm a destination. It hurts like hell. Seriously.

Anyway, help me, please? I'm begging.

AMEN.

I'm LONG-ing :))

Ok. Call me "fickle" or anything.. BUT GOOOD. I'm IN LOOOOVE all over again! Guess who's the lucky guy..?

MATT LONG!

Gaaaawd. It's as if an angel came down from Heaven! :">

So, OKAAAAY. He's not my usual type of guy. He's only 20-something. And, well, he's not old and father-figure-y. Right? Ok, this is an improvement. :D I'm human after all! HOORAY!

Well, this is just a fling -- I could feel it. There's not enough spark. :)) But, for the mean time, since it is here.. I might as well enjoy the moment and stare at Matt Long.. And try hard not to salivate on my shirt. :"> HAHAHA.

I am SO over Billy. I swear. It took me only, um, a day to realize that! I decided that he's not worth it since he chose Linzi over moi. I was hurt. And he did that deliberately. Hmpf. Bitter much? :))

Kidding. Ok. Matt. Don't worry -- it's your turn. I'm going to focus on you, K? There's no need to fret. Just give me all your attention and love and I would be the most, um, loyal WIFE ever. HAHAHA =)) That cracked me up :))

Don't worry nga Matty. I'll stay loyal to you. For a while. HAHA :)) ANO BA MAAATT. Wag ka na masyadong demanding, OK?


So, pick me up at 8? See ya, Matt! :)) I'll wear the sexy thong you bought me. HAHAHAHA =))


Yuck. Ang landi :)) It's just anoter weird Rina-Fantasy. :D

Besides, mabilis din tong mawawala. Believe me. :)

Either Way, You'll Break My Heart Someday

"Bakit ba baliktad ang mundo. Kapag nasisiyahan hindi pwedeng forever. Dadating at dadating din ang panahon na magshishift ka ng mood at magiging badtrip ka pa. Kadalasan pang nangyayari na mas mahirap tanggalin ang pagkabadmood kesa sa pagkamasaya."

-Monece Francisco

I agree. That's what's so ironic. How can you not stay happy for a loooooong time? I don't see any reason why euphoria has to end. One minute you're tuper duper happy, ecstasy to the nth level -- then, the next moment *POOF* stupid problems come. Then what? You grovel underneath because you couldn't take the pressure and you couldn't face defeat. You give up.

Okaaaaay. I know I'm talking about myself :)) Still. I don't know how to change that attitude of mine. I don't know how to look at half-full bottles or glasses. I don't know how to look at the cloud's silver lining.

I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't blame myself wholy for this. I mean, I was brought up without, you know, any kind of BIG problems -- most of the time, no problems at all. (Well, okaaay. My main problem is that I always fight with my parents.. Er. Is that unusual? NO. See?) So, when something new comes up -- I don't know what to do. I just stare at it and weigh everything in my head. If I feel I could do it, fine, I stay happy. But, if I think I couldn't -- I just give up.

My mom said that it's a pathetic thing to throw my life away. My father even said that because he always gives in to me -- I'm spoilt and very ready to give up and, um, IGNORANT. K. That's insulting. I'm not that ignorant.. Am I? I mean, I could cross the road ALONE now! SEE? That's an improvement, right? Well, anyway, that's not the main point -- the thing is, they told me that I could do it. I should just keep myself motivated.

BECAUSE -- IF I DON'T DO IT -- BAH. No more FUN days for me. I swear. They hinted that. It's as if they're looking at my eyes and telling me, "Read between the lines, Rina. READ."

SO. You don't have to wonder why I'm sulky these days. I'm grounded FOR LIFE. :| ... Plus, CB's a bitch. HAHAHAHAHA. K. Nasingit ko padin yon. UGH. I swear, sometimes I get moodier when I see her. It's as if some Cancer-Giving god came down and granted her that absurd look. Pathetic.

Ok, that's LOW. Even for my own standard. :)) HAHAHAHA. HECK. It's NOT my fault she looks like and she's like some filthy bug -- ask her. SUICIDE. UGH. She knows I'm mad at her -- then, why can't she just stop? Is she really trying to piss me off? :| She bloody knows. She fucking knows.

I should shut up now. I'm getting furious.

Cheers. :)

SONG: Bowling For Soup's Captain Hook.

One More Chance. =))

This is WEIRD. I think my old feelings for my bitter ex (HAHAHA) is returning. :|

HOMAYGAD.




Should I still accept you WILLIAM DEAN MARTIN..? After all that we've been through. I mean, honey, I realized that you're too young for me. I want some action. I want someone more mature. And, sadly, you're young.. You're inexperienced (I THINK..? NOT. HAHAHA.) .. Yet -- you're HOTT. Shit :)) What's going on with me?

Seriously. I think I'm having an itsy-bitsy crush on him again. Oh for the love of God.. *sighs*




Sadly, He's MARRIED. Ok, I think I'm destined to be a HOMEWRECKER. Still, at least what I'm "wrecking" are fantasies and ILLUSIONS -- NOT REAL STUFF. Like the one someone's doing to me and my 10-month-old love (Figure that out. HAHA.) ER. Nauna ako. So, HINDI PWEDE talaga. AKIN LANG. AKIN LANG. Find some other person to whore over -- SHE'S MINE. K?

Akala mo naman kung ano, no? :))

Fine Billy. I'm going to give you another chance. Ok? Don't ruin this moment. This is your LAST chance. =))

I'm Screaming "I Love You So." -- My Thoughts You Can't Decode.

*Sighs*

The simple things in life make my heart swell with -- JOY. :)

SUPER. :)

So, i had a date with Lourdes yesterday at Tapa King. GAAAAWD. SUPER FUN! Ansaya saya nya talaga kasama at kausap! Sobrang comfortable ako magkwento lang ng magkwento ng magkwento ng magkwento sa kanya! SWEAR. Hmm.. Tas wala kaming ginawang dalawa kundi tumawa ng tumawa ng tumawa :)) ANO BAAA. Natatawa kaya ako sa kanya! :))

Anyway, I super LOOOOVE Lourdes! We should have another date! Nakakabitin yung kahapon! :| HAHAHA :))

I'm seated at the front part again. Boofuckinghoo. How can I eat during classes? :| HAHAHA. JOKE. Fine. I'm going to maximize the benefits in my seat. Whatever it is. Everythiiiiing. Every fuuuucking thing. :) K? Shoot. Labo ko na naman.

*****

Something different:

I played Volleyball-Strip with some other iv1 kids in the lawn. SUPER FUN. Kahit unfair dahil ako lang yung nagstrip! :| ANDAYA NILA. Super plinano nila na sakin itapon yung bola para daw hindi ko masalo o ano!

I think it was Lia's idea to strip whenever you miss the ball. I swear. Tas she said, "Nako! Dapat pataas yung paghuhubad.. *silence* AYYY! Wag pala! Kasi after ng rubbershoes, jogging pants na yung kasunod!" SUPER FUNNY! HAHAHAHAHA =))

Anyway, I joined the game kasi nga mayabang akoooo. I thought I was invincible.. I thought that I could hit the ball whenever it was aimed at me (which is MOST of the time. HAHA.).. *SIGHS* In the end, ako yung naka-sando nalang. Tas when I missed the ball -- again at pinapatanggal na saken yung sando ko, sabe ko kay Sienna, "Tara na Sienna. Tutor na tayo." HAHAHAHA. Kasiii naman. May lalaki kaya! Ayoko naman na naka-bra lang ako sa lawn tas andon yung lalaki! =))

I have this theory na kapag ganyan ang rules sa paglalaro ng Volleyball -- lahat ng Theresians magiging magaling sa volleyball.. Paghuhubarin ka ba naman kapag hindi mo natira yung bola. DIBA? =))

Naks. Tumatagalog na ko :))

SONG: Paramore's Decode.

Some State Of Normalcy.

NOT.

I'm freaking out AGAIN. I've been freaking out a LOT these past few, um, months. I know everybody's getting sick of it. Then again. What am I supposed to do? I'm just being honest.

AHHHH. Shit. What's wrong with ME?

*****

Date tomorrow with Lourdes :) HAHA. I'm EXCITED!

SONG: DCFC's Cath

It's All Up To You Now.

I'm giving you all of my trust. I swear.

*****

Tapa King yesterday with ii1. GAAAAWD. I miss those guys :)) Like. REALLY. We saw Jolo Revilla. TSSS. Too bad Joan and I didn't get a chance to have a picture taken with our IDOL. *rolls eyes* HAHAHAHA.

*****

No classes TODAY. Duhh. Obviously. PAASCU days were -- stupid. I swear. I freaked out and I prepared and then, what, we were only observed ONCE. Hmpf. Ohwell :)) So, we're kinda lucky, I guess. :D

Ohwell. I'll update again. Later :)) My mom's egging me to eat lunch. UGH.

SONG: The Good Kind by The Wreckers