You only know what I want you to, I know everything you don't want me to.

I find myself updating more often since, like what I've said, I cut off a lot of people so sometimes when I want to sprak - I just need to like talk to myself and put my words out there, you know? Like I'm talking to the void. It's sort of cathartic, tbh. PLUS, I honestly feel super guilty because I neglected this space last year! And I kept on bringing up how this blog has been with me since I was 14 y/o - then I abandoned it for a year. 🥹🥲

I just finished the module on Schistosoma. Can I just say - gosh, Dr. Toom is such an amazing professor. My friends and I are raving about him. He teaches SO WELL plus HE CARES. He always says stuff like, "We're in this together" or "We'll cross the finish line together." I could really feel the care and the love. PLUS!!! He integrates everything! So like, if our topic is Infectious Diseases - all subjects that cover it would be tackled. Like Micro, Para, Ana, Pharma, IM - all Infectious Diseases! That worked for me in medical school eh. Way, way, way, way back, that's what my dad and my psych observed. They said they thought PBL would be more helpful for me (since I have ADHD) - eh anong magagawa ko, di naman ako member ng CHED, diba? HAHAHAHA kahit mag-rally ako mag-isa, wala naman mangyayari. Pero anyway, I love Dr. Toom. I would really trust his process, and by God, STOP PROCRASTINATING. Gurrrl, you ain't smart - gumalaw galaw ka na dyan. Dami mo pa backlogs. 

Idk when I started it, I can't remember actually, but for the longest time, my blog titles are song lyrics. It's something that currently resonates with me OR something I'm LSS-ed with. So, right now it's Poison & Wine. 

I was so into this version back in college (like 2012 era. Dude I just checked my last.fm account. I'm THAT old HAHAHAHAHA) But omg this version is so much better than the OG one. 

Maybe I'm a demanding friend. Actually, I think what I need is also an extrovert or ambivert friend. Majority of my friends are introverts. Hindi ko gets bakit introvert-magnet ako pero yah. So, anyway, my point is - I have to respect their space, especially if they're socially exhausted already. And I really do get and respect that but, gosh, sometimes I really have a lot of feelings and I don't open up so much and I just feel lonely. I'm alone eh. Gets ba? I always pray for just one ambivert or extrovert bff. JUST ONE. I mean, hello, syempre si Yoongi introvert din so okay lang kasi he's my baby boy HAHAHAHAHA. AND HONESTLY HA, like when I invite people to hang out, oks lang na we do separate things basta we're just together. We don't have to talk or chichi and stuff. We're just together doing our stuff. You know? As in like chill na yun for me. I think I'm pretty low maintenance naman. Pero anyway, I just get really lonely sometimes. I just need someone to match my energy. I'm thankful for my friends pero, yah, it gets pretty lonely sometimes. 

Anyway, pray for me for the boards! And for Nikka to make up her mind because I am so ready for my next 2 tattoos. Baka yun na muna last ko for the next 2 years or so 'cause if that 2 tattoos happen - I will already have eight. Surprise parents hehehehehe.