Am I Alive?

Stay.

I wanna hate God. I really do. I wanna scream at Him and stomp my feet and ask why, why the fuck is He letting this shit happen to me? Why is He breaking my heart? Am I Hitler in my past life that it's justifiable I'm experiencing this crap right now?

But being the good Catholic that I am, I won't hate him. I know that He has a good plan - a better plan. Besides, of all the crap and the shit and the heartbreaks He put me through - at least I have amazing parents. That's the only silver lining I have right now. Hay. Anyway, I hope in the end, all this crapolla would make sense.

I just wish my heart would stop breaking and my tears would stop spilling.