It's 2:05 in the morning. I have a lot of stories and random shit I want to tackle and discuss.. but the person I want to talk to - I'm no longer talking with. It sucks so bad.
Sunday, January 5, 2020
Saturday, January 4, 2020
What If God Was One Of Us?
I'm rewatching Lucifer for the nth time! Damn, I really love this series! Lucifer is so hilarious! And it mostly tackles daddy issues and stuff. I really love this so much.
So, we're a week late on our thesis paper. I honestly don't know what will happen. I'm tired, I already did my part. I just want to binge watch my TV shows on Netflix. Hay.
Oh, on other news, FRIENDS would be removed from Netflix 😞 😒 BOO FUCKING HOO!
I have to take in my ADHD meds but I forgot it at home. My head's all over the place.
***
I miss you. So. Freaking. Much. But I know ringing you would mend your heart and break mine (thanks Yellowcard for that lol) Well, but I'm trying to be stronger now. I won't message, I won't message, I won't message. I won't reply, I won't reply, I won't reply. It's just saddening that he doesn't (never has - never will) miss me as much as I miss him. I'm just one of the girls from his never ending harem. Damn, I have to keep in mind that he never really loved me anyway; I'm just one of his games.
It still hurts because I loved him so much.
I have to be firm. I have to be strong - for myself. I just miss the good mornings and good nights and random stories, random photos, random updates about his family, friends, shit like that. Can you blame me? I was stuck with that for 2 years, well, except the 2 months we weren't talking but, yeah, 2 years. I thought he was constant. No, he is a constant - a constant reminder that he was a mistake.
Damn. Why is it so hard to move on? I think 'cause I gave it my all. I really loved him. I really did.
I have to keep reminding myself that the bad outweighs the good, that he broke my heart continuously, that he never cares about me, that he'll never change, that I will never be his 1st choice, that I'm a back-up plan. Damn. Just get out of my life. Although, in fairness, he's doing that. He hasn't messaged me today, so, yeah.
Lord, please help me be strong 💪
SELF-LOVE 2020! 💓
***
I miss you. So. Freaking. Much. But I know ringing you would mend your heart and break mine (thanks Yellowcard for that lol) Well, but I'm trying to be stronger now. I won't message, I won't message, I won't message. I won't reply, I won't reply, I won't reply. It's just saddening that he doesn't (never has - never will) miss me as much as I miss him. I'm just one of the girls from his never ending harem. Damn, I have to keep in mind that he never really loved me anyway; I'm just one of his games.
It still hurts because I loved him so much.
I have to be firm. I have to be strong - for myself. I just miss the good mornings and good nights and random stories, random photos, random updates about his family, friends, shit like that. Can you blame me? I was stuck with that for 2 years, well, except the 2 months we weren't talking but, yeah, 2 years. I thought he was constant. No, he is a constant - a constant reminder that he was a mistake.
Damn. Why is it so hard to move on? I think 'cause I gave it my all. I really loved him. I really did.
I have to keep reminding myself that the bad outweighs the good, that he broke my heart continuously, that he never cares about me, that he'll never change, that I will never be his 1st choice, that I'm a back-up plan. Damn. Just get out of my life. Although, in fairness, he's doing that. He hasn't messaged me today, so, yeah.
Lord, please help me be strong 💪
SELF-LOVE 2020! 💓
Thursday, January 2, 2020
Careless.
Happy New Year, everyone! I am currently into Alexa and Katie! I thought it was like a meh series but it's actually really nice and informative. Alexa has cancer and this is her adventure throughout her rough ordeal. Katie is her best friend who sticks with her. It's actually really heartwarming!
Anyway, it's going to be an interesting year. I promised more self-love this year. Like what Mufasa said, "I've forgotten who I am." Lol haha. It's like because he stopped loving me - I stopped loving myself as well. That's NEVER acceptable. Can you imagine 13 year-old Rina choosing someone who doesn't choose her over and over and over and over? No. It's time I go back to choosing myself and what's best for myself ALWAYS.
I promise to let go of the people who don't choose me and don't fight for me. People like that would never change. Enough.
2020 is for letting go and moving on to greater things. 💕 'Cause I know this is NOT the best.
Here's to an amazing 2020 to all of us! 🍻 🥂
Anyway, it's going to be an interesting year. I promised more self-love this year. Like what Mufasa said, "I've forgotten who I am." Lol haha. It's like because he stopped loving me - I stopped loving myself as well. That's NEVER acceptable. Can you imagine 13 year-old Rina choosing someone who doesn't choose her over and over and over and over? No. It's time I go back to choosing myself and what's best for myself ALWAYS.
I promise to let go of the people who don't choose me and don't fight for me. People like that would never change. Enough.
2020 is for letting go and moving on to greater things. 💕 'Cause I know this is NOT the best.
Here's to an amazing 2020 to all of us! 🍻 🥂
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