I can't believe it's October tomorrow already! Wow. September was a breeze! I didn't even notice it begin. Well, the highlight of my September is probably missing The Killers concert. Sorry, I'm not really gonna let that issue go. Hehe.
Oh God, even looking at them hurts my heart.
The last three weeks, I've been trying to download and complete My Morning Jacket's discography. It frustrates me that I can't because of our stupid internet connection. Did I ever mention that we are still using SmartBro? Yes, we're supposed to switch to MyDSL (as in ikakabit nalang and shit, ha) last May but there were some problems (sobrang tanga ng MyDSL people, hindi makita address namin) and my parents have no time (SERIOUSLY) to look into it. I've been begging for months and months and months but they're always too busy and shit. Heh. My only hope is when Yo comes home. Maybe he can talk to the internet guy or something.
I didn't see The Killers last Thursday. I think I'm going to regret this for the rest of my life. Sabi nga ni Jason, "Di yan expense, investment yan." Ugh God. I'm not kidding when I say that I was in physical pain when people were live-tweeting during the concert. Ugh.
I don't have much passion for life, but this lack of motivation to live and shit.. My passion for music-listening makes up for.
Met up with some of my amazing relatives. This is a very good distraction. It helps numb the pain I'm feeling (regarding the The Killers concert I missed yesterday. Ugh. But, it worked! I had a fun time with them hihi.)
Syempre arte na naman ni Mommy zzzzzzzzzz
I like seeing my relatives 'cause it's crazy and noisy and loud because of all the laughing and shit!
I won't see The Killers tomorrow. I won't. Some people might think I'm overreacting and shit but, Jesus, it's The Killers. One of my friends asked me before (circa 2011) who my top 5 bands are, I said, Death Cab For Cutie, Sum 41, Deas Vail, Gran Ronde (they fucking sound like The Killers, I kid you not) and, duh, The Killers. I saw DCFC last year. Sum 41.. Who knows when they'll hold a concert here. Twice na nacacancel. Deas Vail and Gran Ronde? They're not that popular here in the Philippines so, yeah, there are only a handful of fans. The Killers... Well, they're going to have a concert tomorrow. And I'm going to miss it. Fucking sucks.
You guys have no idea how sad I am right now. So, excuse me while I drown myself in my tears.
I stand corrected, Al Pacino is handsome-est in The Panic in Needle Park! Check it:
God nakakaiyak sobrang gwapo huhuhuhuhuhu!!!
Anyway, if Requiem for a Dream didn't help you.. this might. Although, if Al Pacino's my dealer or something, I might not stop doing drugs, you know, 'cause he's so charming and handsome and perfect! He's perfect! HAHAHAHAHA!
I watched three Al Pacino movies today! Dog Day Afternoon is still my favorite, though.
1. ... And Justice For All
Amazing film. Very handsome Al Pacino
Oh, what I would do to sleep beside/with/on top/under him... Hahahahaha kidding!
2. Serpico
Oh, this film.. This film is something you ought to see. It's a powerful film. Swear. This is based from a true story. You'll get to catch an eyeful of Al Pacino's bearded face. Swear to God. Plus, he has a bathtub scene! Check it:
Oh, what I would do to be the woman he's taking a bath with.... KIDDING AGAIN HAHAHAHA! Or not...?
3. The Devil's Advocate
This movie, I didn't really like. It was too.. Blah! You know? The ending's cute, though. Plus, you'll get a chance to look at Keanu Reeves' edible buttocks!
I love Al Pacino. I love him, he's my first thought when I wake up in the morning and he's my last thought at night.
If you don't know, I'm currently obsessed with Al Pacino. The last few days, I've been watching some of his movies non-stop. Yesterday, I was able to watch Dog Day Afternoon three times. I wish I'm kidding but I'm not. I love him! Even if I'm not crushing on him, I like him! He's such a versatile and flexible actor! So far these are some of his movies that I've watched (some movies, like, Ocean's Thirteen and Jack and Jill, he's not really the protagonist but.. meh, he's still there so it still counts):
1. The Godfather Part I (This is the movie that made me fall in love wih him huhuhu so fucking gwapo!!)
2. The Godfather Part II (Robert Deniro plays the young Vito Corleone here. Wala lang. Hahahaha. He doesn't really look appealing when he was younger.)
3. The Godfather Part III (I didn't like this. Parang napilitan nalang sila dugtungan and shit.)
4. Scarface (I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM!)
5. Donnie Brasco (He's such a fucking great actor! You'll sympathize with him even if he clipped 26 people!)
6. Jack and Jill (This is a really shitty movie and I can't, for the life of me, understand why Al Pacino accepted his role here. Ugh.)
7. Ocean's Thirteen (He's the antagonist here and... well, he's pretty much a bastard.)
8. Scent of a Woman (I didn't really like the plot of this movie but.. meh. And I think it's kind of unfair that he only won an Oscar here. He's a terrific actor, yeah, but.. Jesus, this is nothing compared to Dog Day Afternoon! He was motherfucking brilliant there! The way he panics and shit and how he yells, "Attica! Attica! Remember Attica!", he's amazing! It kinda sucked that he didn't win an Oscar there! Swear madadala kayo sa acting nya.)
9. Heat (I LOVE THIS MOVIE! I swear to God! Robert Deniro is attractive here! But, no, Al Pacino padin. It just kind of sucked that he played the good guy here. I think it's 'cause I'm used to seeing him play gangsters and mobsters and criminals and shit. Anyway, suave Al Pacino is suave. Hihihihi!)
And my personal favorite:
10. Dog Day Afternoon
I love this movie so freaking much! Watch it and you'll get what I'm saying! The way he panics and freaks out, it's like he's not acting at all. It all seems natural. The way he gets frustrated and shit, it all looks natural. When you finish watching it, you'll get what I'm saying. You'll get why I'm furious that he didn't win any Oscar's here. He fucking deserves it, I swear to God.
I'm currently downloading The Panic in Needle Park. After that I'm going to download... And Justice for All. Then Serpico, then The Devil's Advocate, then Bobby Deerfield, then Scarecrow, then Dick Tracy, then Author! Author! I hope I find good torrents for these films! So far, I'm having trouble finding a decent torrent shit for Bobby Deerfield but.. we'll see. I want to watch his films in the 70's 'cause that's when he was really fucking handsome. Don't get me wrong, he's still ridiculously handsome now but.. there's something about his young voice and shit. Hihihihi. Can't wait to finish downloading everything!
Guys, seriously, watch Dog Day Afternoon. It's funny. It's amazing! Al Pacino's really handsome and hilarious there! Swear to God!
I watched Dog Day Afternoon today. Actually, I watched it three times today, I kid you not. Don't judge me! I think Al Pacino looked his handsome-est here! Check it and burn:
I've finished watching all of the godfather movies. The Godfather III was crap. Seriously. My dad and I talked about it during dinner time last night and we were bashing it 'cause it fucking sucks. Ughhhh. The last two days, I was able to watch The Godfather Part I five times, I shit you not. I'm seriously crushing on Al Pacino. Huhuhuhu!
Oh dear Lord why've you created someone so perfect 52 years ago. I'm so late.. So late...
My dad's a big The Godfather fan. He doesn't really like reading novels because he prefers technical books or textbooks, you know, books that teach you stuff. Anyway, ever since I was young, my dad would always rave about The Godfather. He said that during his youth, he must've read it for, like, a billion times. Yesterday, I finished reading The Godfather. My father and I spent, like, two hours dissecting the book. I haven't watched all of the movies yet, he specifically told me not to watch the movies unless I finished the book. Since I have time now, I checked out the book. Jesus, it was so bloody beautiful I couldn't stop reading! Seriously!
Anyway, I watched The Godfather Part I last night. I'm sorry but I'm now in love with the younger version of Al Pacino. He's so fucking handsome I giggle every time his scene comes on!
Omgggggggggg isn't he handsome??!?! He's just my type, right? I mean, like RDJ, Neil Gaiman, Johnny Depp... He has dark hair.. And the perfect face! The perfect face!
Please let me have your babies! I know you're 70+ now but please let me have your babies!!
Kidding aside, if you haven't read The Godfather yet.. Well, you should start doing something with your life and read it now! You wouldn't regret it, I swear! I should've listened to my dad's stories before because, I swear to God, The Godfather is so fucking worth it. I want my own Godfather!!
Last Monday, I made my mom check my boobies because she had a patient who had a cyst thingy in her breast and she had to remove it surgically. Anyway, I got paranoid so I told my mom to check mine as well. In the middle of the awkwardness and shit, she froze, she said that she felt something on my left boob. Of course I asked if she's sure, she said yeah 'cause there's nothing on my right boob. As in sa left lang. So, this coming Friday, I'm going to have my breasts thoroughly checked. To be honest, I'm not really shocked or something. I mean, have you seen my boobies? They're huge! And with my not-so-clean lifestyle, I know I'm going to have cancer. What made me wince was the fact that it came early. Way too early, you know? Anyway, I'm not saying that it is cancer but in these cases, you have to think of the worst, right?
You think the cyst part or having it surgically removed would scare me but, well, it didn't. You know what my first thought was when my mom was explaining shit to me? I thought that if I'm going to die or something, it's okay because, at least, I would be free from the future and stuff. If you know me, then you would know that I hate responsibilities and obligations. I hate grown-up stuff. And I've endlessly blogged about my fear of the future so, that's that. But, meh. Whatever happens, I'm okay with it, I guess. I'll just wing it.
You know what, I think I'm experiencing a premature midlife crisis. I mean, that would explain all of this fear and uncertainty! RIGHT? Hahahahaha! Jesus, that's funny!
On something different, I'm making my best friend find something out about the The Killers tickets (Well, I can't die before this. I can't and I won't!!) She knows someone who could sell it in a cheaper price, if you're a fan, keep your fingers crossed! Please, let it be 300 pesos. Please, please, please. HAHAHAHAHA!
I want a Kindle 5. Yesterday my mom and I were talking, she said that her iPad's okay for games and shit but she wants a Kindle. I was, well, indignant because I wanted a Kindle. I've been begging for years and years and years and years and years and years for a Kindle! Meh. I don't know, we'll see. My mom's softening to the idea. Huhuhu I want one so bad. So bad.
I am a bookworm, like, a real bookworm. Not some pretend "bookworm" who talks about loving bookstores and books but never actually reading anything of substance or something. Or, or, or just browsing the book until he reaches the ending so he could tweet about how awesome the book is or something. Whatever you motherfucking poser. ANYWAY, my life basically revolves around MUSIC, BOOKS, and TELEVISION SERIES/SHOWS. That seems kind of dorky to the average person, huh. But, whatever. My parents always told me that I have a vivid and an overactive imagination. I did mention before that I have three imaginary friends, right? Such a pity that I could only remember Mitchy and Mijarla. I forgot my other imaginary friend's name. See, when I'm playing with them, I could do anything I want and be anywhere I want. It was glorious.
Do you know why I hate horror stories and horror films so much? It's because of this overly active imagination. And I hate that. I hate being spooked. I hate thinking about ghosts and shit and all that other crapola I saw on the horror film.
God, please let me have a Kindle. Please, please, please. I swear to God I would offer my firstborn child with Brandon Flowers to you!!!
I haven't updated for a very, very, very, very long time because we have crappy internet connection and Blogger won't just load! It's so fucking frustating.
Well, nothing much happened anyway. I finished reading The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake today. It was about an unconventional sort of family and it was heartbreaking. The mother was an adulteress. Ugh. The sister and the brother weren't close. The dad was unaware of his wife having an affair.. and many other important stuff. It was a good book but it was sort of weird.
Things aren't really looking up for me but I'm choosing to ignore the gnawing fear in my brain. I just have to learn how to wing stuff. And to stop overthinking!!
Anyway, I wish I could update again another time. Our internet connection is a fucking bitch.
At this moment, I'm not really sad. I'm scared. Actually, that's what I've been feeling a lot recently - fear and rejection and anxiety. I don't think you actually understand me when I say I'm terrified shitless of the future.. The fear, it grips my heart and it shatters my soul. And this feeling? It stays there. It's there when I wake up, gnawing my brain, making my heart beat a little faster. It's the last thing I think about at night. This dread and agitation, it's eating me alive. It makes me sad. That's why I'm always sad these days... 'Cause I'm scared and anxious and stuff and I don't think that anyone could understand me.
I'm sad because I'm scared. And I can't do anything to battle away my fears and shit.
