Maybe in another place, another time

Omg. I finished Shine on Me today! After the very long (almost 1 year!!!!!) cdrama slump - I AM BACK! It was so cute! I love love!!!!! Plus, the plot wasn't drama-heavy so chill chill lang. I can't talaga muna with a heavy plot since the past books I've read were kind of heavy and disturbing (like Creep) haha.

AND HELLO OMG SONG WEILONG??????????? THAT 6-FEET TALL OF GORGEOUSNESS! He is so handsome! So, there was a scene I, the first time I watched it I squealed like a fucking psycho. SOBRANG KILIG OKAY ANG POGI NYA!!!!

This is the optimal height difference for momol HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

Lord sobrang pogi nanghihina akooo HAAHHAHAHAH

LORDDDDDDDD

I MEAN?????? LOOK?????? FACE CARD FOR DAYS?????????????????? Pluuuuuus we have the same birthday!!!!! But he was born on 1999 so sometimes it's hard to fantasize and daydream about him because I feel like a cradle robber HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHHHAHAHAH

SOBRANG POGI NYA. Lahat ng sinendan ko ng photos nya sinasabi ang gwapo huhuhuhu even my mom na sobrang ibang taste sakin as in ang gwapo daw ni Song Weilong. Hay what a cutie pie chikiting!!!

Anyway, I might start with Love Between Fairy and Devil because my other 2 babies are there (Dylan Wang my OG Chinese bae ++++ Zhang Linghe) HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

Also, Background by Seokjin is currently on repeat. This is my favorite solo song of his! As in! What a crooner!

Baby, I just want to go home

Okay, so my reading "slump" is semi-cured. I finished Creep today and gave it 3/5 stars. It was so.. disturbing in the sense that I'm cringing so hard for the protagonist. Like.. "Omg dude wtf whhhhy?" But it was a good read! 

Anyway, after months, and I mean months, of not finishing any kdrama and cdrama (bitch, I was in a slump. I started like 7 different k and cdramas but I found it so hard to commit) I started Shine on Me starring Song Weilong (MY VERY POGI KABIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!! But born on 1999. He's so HANDSOME!!!! There were a lot scenes where I was squealing because bitch the face card!!!) and Zhao Jinmai who I loved in Amidst A Snowstorm of Love. So far, it's chill and I'm loving it. I don't want to watch anything heavy right now. It's 36 episodes and I'm just on episode 5 but goooosh can't wait for more Song Weilong scenes GAAAAHHHHHHHH

I'm also updated with JJK season 3 and episode 3 showed Choso's cuteness A LOT HUHUHUHUHU Grabe can I just say ha, Yuta and Choso were already part of my Top 5 faves before season 3 HUHUHUHUHUHU and they're oozing with aura and cuteness these past 3 episodes. I CAN'T WAIT FOR MOOOOOOORE. JJK is also the Top 1 series on Netflix (Philippines) right now.. so it's kinda telling how amazing it is HUHUHUHUHUHU

I'm still worried about where my career is headed but ughhhh what can I do what can I do. Bakit ba kasi hindi ako Kaplan Heiress HAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAH

I know I'm sleeping because this dream's too amazing

 I'm in a reading slump. I've started Babel by R. F. Kuang, tried to finish Creep but ughhhhhh I can't seem to just continue reading.

Maybe it's because I forgot to take my Ritalin for the day? Or because my head aches as fuck because of my colds. But uggghhh I just want to read. Babel is actually very good! I'm only on chapter 3 but it's overflowing with potential to be loved!

Idk. Just a random update I want to air out.

Talk Is Cheap

Okayyyyy I'm 8 books in for this month! My goal is 20 in Goodreads but I kinda want to try reading at least 100 novels this year. So, I'm thinking, 10 books a month is doable and that's my plan - to read at least 10 novels a month. So, at least I'll reach my goal by November. October, even.

AND OMG JJK SZN 3 IS HERE!!!! But the first 2 episodes, I watched already with Jodie in the advanced screening of The Culling Games last month but still I AM SO HAPPY

ALSO, BTS RELEASED THEIR TOUR DATES!!!! 2027 MNL STOP MOTHERFUCKERS!!!! I hope I get to see them. Yoongles my love HUHUHUHUHUHUHU 

Anyyyyway, random photos I took from yesterday and today! I took photos of stuff I found cute.

My current favorite necklaces! I wear it together!

The Reaper has come. And he’s brought hell with him.

Well, this book is.. disappointing. 

Okay, so the first two novels were divine! I loved it so much! But this novel. Boy this novel pissed me off. 

Just going to copy and paste my review from Goodreads:

"Darrow was captured and tortured over and over and over and over again (the first few times it happened in the previous books, it was gripping but to have it happen over and over again just makes the writing seem lazy. UGHHHHHHH) then because of some divine intervention this lucky son of a bitch, who has what it seems like more than 9 lives than that of a cat, gets saved because he was:

1. Able to talk his way out of it  and was convincing enough for his captor to have second thoughts and spare him 

2. Surrounded by friends who are more capable than him 

At some point I started rooting for Octavia and the Jackal because Darrow that stupid bitch was imprisoned - AGAIN. & AGAIN. & AGAIN. It’s the same thing over and over with a slightly different dialogue and different captor. JESUS CHRIST MAKE THE HORRORS STOP.

The first 2 novels were beautiful bordering on sublime, even. But this? It bored and angered the living Jesus out of me."

I could've finished this book yesterday but I was rolling my eyes so hard I had to stop. Okay but I'll give credit where credit is due, the ending with Pax was cute. The softie in me liked it. But it's not enough to salvage my relationship with this novel. And because of this abomination, I honestly wouldn't be reading the 4th novel in the saga. I just.. Jesus, I'm tired. I can't anymore.

It's a very different feeling from A Song of Ice and Fire where I couldn't put my book down and I wanted George R. R. Martin to finish the whole saga and wrap everything together neatly with a bow. Which he won't... I could still remember when I finished reading A Dance with Dragons, it was like.. late 2013 and I was thinking, "Shit I wouldn't be able to read his next novel because I would be in med school by then." Mother eff.. I'm a licensed physician now but still no Winds of Winter. Tbh, I feel like the TV show fucked it so bad George got disappointed and felt like it wouldn't be salvageable. Which sucks because A Song of Ice and Fire WAS a defining moment for our generation! Okay, I didn't watch the show but I read the books so it still counts, right? 

Anyway, the point is - I'm looking for that high. I want that world building and imagination and unexpected twists (will never forget Ned. I WAS ROOTING FOR NED, DAMN IT. And hello Red Wedding?) Those were all surprises! Red Rising saga was good but it never made me react how I reacted while reading A Song of Ice and Fire.

I hope you win Best Actor

Random day todayyyy spent with my mom. I recently discovered this app from Jodie and I've been taking random photos of stuff haha!

Now that it's over, you blame it all on me

Okay, so I'm reading a new series. Before Katabasis, I haven't read a fantasy book in so looooooong. So, Katabasis was a good venture back to the genre. So, yeah, I'm reading a sci-fi (???) fantasy (????) novel. It's always recommended for further reading when I click on A Game of Thrones so... I tried reading it. AND I LOVED IT! But, idk, ALL BIASES ASIDE, it has less pizzazz than GoT! I remember my jaw dropping a lot in GoT! ANYWAY, so what I'm reading is the Red Rising Saga. The first book was good, there were scenes I didn't expect to happen but I want more. The reviews did say, however, that Book 2 is so much better. Which is saying something since Book 1 is already pretty good! I. AM. FREAKING. EXCITED.

Here's the 2nd book of the saga I'm currently reading now:

I'm thinking of rereading the A Song of Ice and Fire series but we'll see.

So when you gonna tell her that we did that, too?

So, as I've said on my previous post, I'm in an Olivia Rodrigo discography era. AND IDK WHAT'S WITH THIS SONG BUT GOD I'm crushed. It doesn't even make sense because the lyrics aren't appropriate with what I'm feeling. Actually, same with drivers license, I don't relate with the lyrics but it, like, gave me the feeling of grief. From what I can pinpoint now is - I'm disappointed with myself. I'm disappointed because when I was younger (THIS BLOG HAS RECEIPTS) I thought I would've been something, someone important and flourishing, by 30. I'm 33 now turning 34 and I'm.. lost.

This is like a recurring theme with my life. I don't like comparing myself to other people because I really believe we have different timelines but I'm 33 and I haven't achieved anything. My first choice of specialization won't accept me. I'm severely lacking and it really killed me last year because for the past 3 years, that was the one thing I was sure of in life. That was the specialty I wanted to pursue. 

So, I have to adjust. I have to recalibrate. Again and again and again. I have to look at my life and think of what else to do. And that's where I am now. Sometimes, I'm fine. Other times I just burst out crying without much prompting. Idk. Maybe I'm extremely hormonal right now idk. I'm happy for my friends who're pursuing (and reached) their dreams. I'm just grieving the dreams I have to discard. I'm just grieving the person I didn't become. It just feels really heavy sometimes.

Sometimes it just feels tiring to keep on fighting and pushing and "being strong" and I honestly just feel hopeless. Which seems insensitive because I know I've been really blessed in life. IDK it's a weird spot to be at sometimes.

But just.. idk. Let me grieve. Let me grieve the person I didn't become and the person I have lost through all these.

Wow, who would have thought Olivia Rodrigo would evoke this kind of existential crisis from me? HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA

I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone

I got my driver's license last week

Just like we always talked about

'Cause you were so excited for me

To finally drive up to your house

But today I drove through the suburbs

Cryin' 'cause you weren't around

And you're probably with that blonde girl

Who always made me doubt

She's so much older than me

She's everything I'm insecure about

Yeah, today I drove through the suburbs

'Cause how could I ever love someone else?

And I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one

And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone

Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me

'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street

And all my friends are tired

Of hearing how much I miss you, but

I kinda feel sorry for them

'Cause they'll never know you the way that I do, yeah

Today I drove through the suburbs

And pictured I was driving home to you

And I know we weren't perfect

But I've never felt this way for no one, oh

And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone

I guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me

'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street

Red lights, stop signs

I still see your face in the white cars, front yards

Can't drive past the places we used to go to

'Cause I still fuckin' love you, babe (ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh)

Sidewalks we crossed

I still hear your voice in the traffic, we're laughing

Over all the noise

God, I'm so blue, know we're through

But I still fuckin' love you, babe (ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh)

I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one

And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone

'Cause you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me

'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street

Yeah, you said forever, now I drive alone past your street

You said forever, now I drive alone past your street

Okay omg Happy New Year! It's 2026! Another fresh start. Let's fucking get itttttt!

Anyway, so I was never a fan of Olivia Rodrigo. I was more of a Sabrina Carpenter girl (god what am I talking about? I'm almost a decade older than these kids) she's even my 5th most played artist for 2025! One thing about me is I never turn my iPad off when I'm alone especially when I'm about to sleep. So, I put on shows I don't mind missing episodes of. Recently, I put on HSM the series where Olivia Rodrigo was the lead and biiiiitch I liked her! I was so indifferent towards her before, I just thought she was beautiful but I didn't know any of her songs. But she was so charming in HSM So.... that's why I'm listening to Sour and Guts on repeat haha. 

Okay I'll write in some of my goals for 2026. I wish I get to tick off some of it by December next year. OH YEAH, I finished 70 novels last year! I AM SO PROUD OF MYSELF! Okay so my 2026 list:

1. Finish 100 novels
2. Travel outside the country with Jodie (JJK PILGRIMAGE LFG. Actually, yun talaga ang goal ko. Kelangan ko lang ng kasama. JOKE HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA)
3. Travel with friends (my last out of the country with friends was in 2019 pa!)
4. Watch a concert live!!!! (Hopefully BTS???? PLEASE PLEASE. BTS comeback this coming March 20, 2026 DAW so LFG!!!!!) My last live concert was in 2012 pa!!!!!! Super tagal na! I will never forgive myself for missing Dua Lipa's concert last 2024. I mean, I was doing something then BUT STILL. It's fucking Dua Lipa. My favorite female artist in the world! DUA FUCKING LIPA!!!!!!!!
5. Spend more quality time with family
6. Spend more quality time with friends
7. BUY A KOBO LIBRA COLOUR 
8. Buy my own bookcase
9. Maybe buy less shoes???????????

I'll try to think of more goals but so far, yeah, that's it. 2026 please, PLEASE, be my year!!!!