Friday, September 7, 2007

fear and some chivalry


I may be an eternal pessimist, I understand ---- I always look at the bad things that’s going on in my life. I may even be the most arse-headed person in the country ---- I don’t really know what’s wrong with me.. Don’t worry, I’m not a complete psycho ---- I can talk some sense sometimes. Anyway, being a naysayer isn’t really fun ----- I get scared because of some gobbledygook reason.. I get worried because of nothing in particular ---- is there something completely wrong with me?
Writing something like this is really tear-jerking.. Yeah, ok.. Ang babaw.. But, for someone like me who tends to laugh at school at all times and who acts as if there’s nothing wrong even if my brain is battling with the things that I am very much afraid to pour out ---- this is one big piece of the most expensive cake in the world that I’m sharing.. I don’t say these sentimental and syrupy stuff for people to pity me, I say this because I am being honest.
In my opinion, being afraid is not a reason to feel entirely incompetent. I am not saying that out of forlorn understanding, I am saying that because that’s that.. I’m not sure I’m making myself quite understandable, but for those who can actually understand the language I’m saying ---- yeeehaaaa.. But, for those who can’t ---- please bear with me.. Or you could stop reading right now. :D Everybody fears something.. The richest man in the universe could fear bankruptcy, the prettiest and youngest person could fear aging and a sagging body, the most powerful could fear ---- defeat. And, yet ---- not everyone’s truthful enough to admit it.
FEAR ---- is a small word with big and humongous meaning. FEAR is easy enough to spell but hard enough to understand. FEAR can come easily but can’t be discarded effortlessly. Fear can make someone do the most stupid and unbelievable thing in life, but fear can also drive someone to conquer it and extinguish it forever. Such complicated thoughts for a simple word..
I don’t really know how to snuff out fear.. I don’t even know how I could vanquish my fears! There are many things that I am afraid of.. I’m afraid of dogs, big-time. I’m hydrophobic, as I’ve openly shared.. And, I’m actually scared of people I like saying their comments behind my back ---- if there’s anything, anything at all that you hate about me, tap me or even slap me if that would make you feel better ---- then, after giving me a good bruise, kindly tell me what I did to you that made you slap me that hard. Well, if you hate me because I have pimples or because I’m fat ---- it would be really hard for me to change that because, you know, it’s really hard to undergo complete ‘abstinence’ ---- it’s like what Garfield AKA Jim Davis said… It’s ‘DIE with a T’.. Get it? Diet? DIE with a ‘T’? Hahahaha.. But, I’m really serious about dropping some fucking weight.
Honestly, I may look stupid and really oblivious and unconscious of what’s going on around me but I do accept straight-forward frankness. Let God be the center of your life ---- hahahaha.. Anlabo na..
Electromagnets do zap.. Says who? Who knows, but being the electromagnet [whatever that is.. Do you that I didn’t know that there’s really a word such as ‘electromagnetosis’? I was oh-so proud because I thought that I invented a word.. Then, my brother typed ‘electromagnetosis’ and he pressed enter.. My blog wasn’t even on the list.. Turns out, there really is an electromagnetosis-word..] that I am, I say that it zaps. One zap and you’re dead.. It’s very strong, you know. It produces enough nuclear energy to dissolve the whole world! When it’s beginning to feel powerful ---- some sweet-smelling, syrupy, buttery, smoke comes from the tip of the electromagnets.. And, when it starts to get angry ---- say your prayers because it can sting and mash you into pieces with just one zap! Poof!
*The last paragraph is a fictitious fiction, but, fiction it may be, I am serious about ‘electromagnetosis’ being a real word.
SONG: Probably, it'll be '1985' by Bowling For Soup.. I was singing it all week.. ....Madonna, way before Nirvana, there was U2 and Blondie... Ok.. tama na.. :p

No comments: