hey oh hey

I am so frustrated. See, I mentioned that I am having some tutorials, right? And, this fucking time, I couldn’t answer a goddamn thing right. I was so perturbed that I actually cried. Because of this my good-natured father talked to me.. He told me that cursing and crying [and actually throwing a tantrum..] won’t help me understand what I don’t understand. He said that I should have a positive outlook in life. I was like, “Huh? What’s math got to do with my life?”.. He told me that at the end of the day, I would actually be proud because I finally understood the goddamn thing I couldn’t answer -- all I need is to focus and to persevere. That’s so easy to say.. But it takes ten times the effort to actually do half of it!

To be brutally honest, I feel so upset. Relatives are actually asking me if I’m also going to pursue medicine like my parents -- all I can do is give a sheepish grin and shrug. My mom was -- is discouraging me and my brother to study medicine. She tells us that it’s a total pain in the butt. She needs not worry, my brother is not-- has never been interested in medicine. And, well, as for me, if ever I’m going their way, I’m going to take up psychiatry. Since I was a kid, I find psychiatry interesting [and my father is actually promoting it.. telling me all sorts of things like it’s appealing and fascinating.. I think he wants me to study medicine at all. Shrug.] Anyway, I may not have the brains but I have interest and, ugh, some hard work. Besides, I don’t know what other course to take. Another shrug. It’s a little bit early to talk about that but my parents told me to start thinking now because in two years time, we’re going to be college students already.

I know I totally suck at school. I don’t even know how I got promoted [I meant stepping from first year to second year and now to third year..] Maybe the teachers pitied me. Hahahahaha. Yeah, yeah, I think they pitied me. Pitiful Rina.

Bye bye. See you all on the seventeenth..

I’m going to continue my ASS-ignment now.

SONGS: What Sarah Said is still inside my head and, yeah, Fellowship of the nerd/ by FOB. Everybody’s into FOB lately.. I think if all of the people get to know this band and grip them because of popularity and not because of their songs, I have to scratch them out of my likes. Sort of like MCR. Every person ‘loves’ MCR-- because of popularity, not because of the songs..