I think I'm PMS-ing again. I'm in a very bad state right now. I don't want to see anybody. And I just want to kill someone. Anyone. This misanthropic tendency is frightening sometimes.
The thing is.. I really feel lonely and sad and miserable and alone. And I can't show it when I'm at school. That's why I laugh a lot or joke a lot. See, I have this tendency to run away from my problems. In our house, the only emotions we show are joy and anger. No sadness, no grief. It's either you're really happy or really angry. So, this thing right now, it would be really weird to show it. Anyway, it feels good to run away from everything that's bothering you. You don't have to face it. I know it's a sign of cowardice but.. Who the fuck ever told you I'm brave, anyway? I can't face all the things that's going on right now.
I'm dreading Christmas. I can't stay at the dorm and curl up like a fetus and ignore everyone. I have to be with everyone. It's really frustrating.
Nobody really knows what's going on (except Jodie.) I've kept mum for so long, I think I'm going to burst. Oh well. I think it's better this way anyway.
I'm sad, that's all.
1 comment:
What you need is one long, tight hug, which you will receive when we finally see each other face to face. In the mean time, this cyberhug should suffice.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>:D<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
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