I finally realized how much I've missed my blog. I've been an.. well, introvert these past, er, weeks. Swear. Even for my standards, my own attitude didn't and won't qualify. I swear. I mean, c'mon, I'm very open. I have a big mouth and everybody knows my secrets. RIGHT? That reminds me. I shouldn't trust ALL the people in the world! I should get to know them first before I tell them every dark detail about me. That's one of of my main problems, I'm so trusting. I easily, easily, easily trust people. But, when that trust breaks -- I dunno, I have a hard time trusting that person again. :| My reaction's normal, right?
It's almost 10. If my parents find out that I'm still awake -- they will triple-ground me. Then again, I could hear them snoring in the other bedroom. Good sign. I could stay up until 3 in the morning. HAHAHAHA. Kidding. :))
I'm torn between wanting to go to school and not wanting to go to school. I want to go to school because I want to see my friends and, ok, it's hard to miss the Trigo & Physics lectures. It's like missing the other half of your butt. Hmm, I don't want to go to school because I'm DEAD-TIRED. Since the summer last year, I literally NEVER had a break. I'm so exhausted. I know they forced me to go to Review School twice and, ok, attend Enrichment Classes for my own sake. But, C'MON, dear God, no wonder my brain's malfunctioning.. I'm so fucking TIRED.
Do you know what's worse? I attended all those classes and I didn't pass in my dream school. Oo. Bitter ako, HINDING-HINDI na ako makakaget-over dyan. My father said that I should go and try UST for a year -- then, if my grades are good, I could take another exam and, ok, maybe transfer in Ateneo. He even said that maybe I could make an appeal or something (I couldn't really remember..) 'cause he was saying that maybe I was waitlisted. I told him, "Ano ako? Second choice? They didn't accept me the first time I tried. Ayoko na. Una palang ayaw na nila saken, ehh di, fine, WAG. Pero ang masasabi ko lang, hinding-hindi ako papayag na second choice lang ako. It's either they take me or not. Bahala sila. Gagalingan ko nalang. Kung san man ako pupulutin." Those are my exact words. :)) I could still remember it because my father scolded me. He said that it's not the proper way to look at things yidi-yada blah-blah-blah. Ohwell. I'm a goner anyway. San pa nga ba ako pupulutin?
K. Nagseself-pity na naman ako. But, dude, you wouldn't understand me since you didn't fail 3 FUCKING schools. T-H-R-E-E. Oo. Ganon ako kaboba. Masaya ka na? No wonder my mom thinks na puro kahihiyan lang talaga yung binibigay ko sa kanila. Wala akong nagagawang tama. I can't please them. Whenever I try, I fail. And, honestly, I don't see any point in trying anymore. What's the point in wasting all my efforts when the only thing I would get is a bumubulagang FAILURE. Dinadaan ko nalang sa tawa LAHAT LAHAT LAHAT.. Kasi, sanay na naman ako na wala akong nagagawang tama ehh. :)) Pero, you know what, kahit minsan, kahit MINSAN lang talaga -- gusto ko marinig na masabi ng parents ko na masaya sila sa nagagawa ko kahit boba ako. Kahit ONCE lang, ok na ko. 'Yung parang kahit tatanga-tanga ako, hindi nila ako kinakahiya. Ganon lang.
Ok. Tama na. Kadiri.Madrama na. :)) It's time to suh-leeeep. :)) Night. :D
It's almost 10. If my parents find out that I'm still awake -- they will triple-ground me. Then again, I could hear them snoring in the other bedroom. Good sign. I could stay up until 3 in the morning. HAHAHAHA. Kidding. :))
I'm torn between wanting to go to school and not wanting to go to school. I want to go to school because I want to see my friends and, ok, it's hard to miss the Trigo & Physics lectures. It's like missing the other half of your butt. Hmm, I don't want to go to school because I'm DEAD-TIRED. Since the summer last year, I literally NEVER had a break. I'm so exhausted. I know they forced me to go to Review School twice and, ok, attend Enrichment Classes for my own sake. But, C'MON, dear God, no wonder my brain's malfunctioning.. I'm so fucking TIRED.
Do you know what's worse? I attended all those classes and I didn't pass in my dream school. Oo. Bitter ako, HINDING-HINDI na ako makakaget-over dyan. My father said that I should go and try UST for a year -- then, if my grades are good, I could take another exam and, ok, maybe transfer in Ateneo. He even said that maybe I could make an appeal or something (I couldn't really remember..) 'cause he was saying that maybe I was waitlisted. I told him, "Ano ako? Second choice? They didn't accept me the first time I tried. Ayoko na. Una palang ayaw na nila saken, ehh di, fine, WAG. Pero ang masasabi ko lang, hinding-hindi ako papayag na second choice lang ako. It's either they take me or not. Bahala sila. Gagalingan ko nalang. Kung san man ako pupulutin." Those are my exact words. :)) I could still remember it because my father scolded me. He said that it's not the proper way to look at things yidi-yada blah-blah-blah. Ohwell. I'm a goner anyway. San pa nga ba ako pupulutin?
K. Nagseself-pity na naman ako. But, dude, you wouldn't understand me since you didn't fail 3 FUCKING schools. T-H-R-E-E. Oo. Ganon ako kaboba. Masaya ka na? No wonder my mom thinks na puro kahihiyan lang talaga yung binibigay ko sa kanila. Wala akong nagagawang tama. I can't please them. Whenever I try, I fail. And, honestly, I don't see any point in trying anymore. What's the point in wasting all my efforts when the only thing I would get is a bumubulagang FAILURE. Dinadaan ko nalang sa tawa LAHAT LAHAT LAHAT.. Kasi, sanay na naman ako na wala akong nagagawang tama ehh. :)) Pero, you know what, kahit minsan, kahit MINSAN lang talaga -- gusto ko marinig na masabi ng parents ko na masaya sila sa nagagawa ko kahit boba ako. Kahit ONCE lang, ok na ko. 'Yung parang kahit tatanga-tanga ako, hindi nila ako kinakahiya. Ganon lang.
Ok. Tama na. Kadiri.
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