Saturday, March 29, 2008

the phone call, jackass.

shit shit shit. when you receive a phone call, not just any phone call, mind you, the phone call.. what would you do? would you freak out? would you stare at the telephone for hours and ask yourself if you really deserve the phone call? or would you pretend that nothing happened?

i received the phone call yesterday. mrs. alcabedas called us. well, i don't know what happened. it's my father who knows the whole sordid and horrifying details. my parents have an appointment with mrs. alcabedas on monday. god. i am so freaking out. all i've done since i found out about the phone call is CRY. my eyes are still red and puffy right now. i am, without doubt, so depressed. i mean, i've tried so hard to pass every fucking exam. i've had many sleepless nights and this is where my stupid efforts are taking me! to top it of, my mom's angry at me. she thinks it's my fault that i might repeat third year again. i think that's unfair. is it my fault that my brain's always in malfunction-mode? is it my fault that i'm slow? is it my fault that i never had those proper and useful genes? it's bloody not.

i am so down i don't know what to do. i didn't even touch my laptop from the moment i woke up until 4 something.. well.. if you're wondering what i'm using now, i'm using my father's pc. he has a kind heart :) you know what, when he saw me crying when i came out of their room (because i tried to talk to my mom.. you know, tell her not to get mad at me anymore..) he tried to comfort me.. although, it's not really useful because, hell, one thing you should know about my father is that he's not showy with his feelings.. he get's awkward in those crying and comforting stuff.

*MA - Mabuting Ama
*IA - Iyaking Anak

MA: Oh, bakit?
IA: (points to their room and sniffs)
MA: dahil ba don sa Monday?
IA: (burst into uncontrollable sobs)
MA: wag mo muna problemahin. we don't know what it's about pa.
IA: (in a not-so-understandable voice) i've tried so hard! hindi nyo naman kasi nakikita ehh! kung matulog ako mga 10, 11, 1!
MA: hoy, nakikita ko.. we've done everything we could.. advance-summer programs.. yung remedials mo.. pero, kung magre-repeat talaga.. wala tayong magagawa.
IA: (really, really, really sobs)
MA: wag mo muna problemahin.. we'll find out sa monday kung kaproble-problema nga.. pero, in the mean time, wag mo muna sirain summer mo.

who wouldn't be flattered in having this kind of father?

let's just hope that i wouldn't repeat third year..

SONG: aly and aj's something more

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